ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL

SW ^

[Sir Gawain]

"In Speech, Bush Calls Iraq, Iran and North Korea 'Axis of Evil" -- N.Y. Times, 1/30/02

ANGERED BY SNUBBING, LIBYA, CHINA
SYRIA FORM AXIS OF JUST AS EVIL
Cuba, Sudan, Serbia Form Axis of Somewhat Evil; Other Nations Start Own Clubs

Beijing (SatireWire.com) — Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address.

Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil... in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best."

Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil.

"They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad.

"An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool."

THE AXIS PANDEMIC

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable.

With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

"That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell.

While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges.

Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them.

[Sir Gawain]

bling

[JenB]

Oh dear... too funny, especially the line about France surrendering!

[Dog Gone]

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

< cymbal crash >

[theDentist]

Both the Arctic and Antarctic representatives have sent late word that they are forming a Cold Evil Duality.
They also sent warning that they each have poles with which they can attack or defend themselves.

[powderhorn]

Nobody wants to be in an axis with France anyway. I mean, what has France done since inventing the fork? Not much.

[theDentist]

Bold be gone!?

[theDentist]

Ooops... never mind.

[JenB]

Not much? You call French fashion, and all those weird Enlightenment philosophers, and the wines and cheese, and the Eiffel Tower 'not much'?!!

So do I.

[francisandbeans]

What about Girard Depardeaux?

What about him?!?!?

He is from France. He is one of the best one actors to ever come from France.

This is the equivalent of referring to a little person as a "tall midget"

[gridlock]

I hereby declare Open Season on trashing the French.

[JenB]

What... the Axis of People with Really Cool Accents that Sound Neat But Nobody Can Quite Understand, Let Alone Spell Out?

[powderhorn]

Well OK, they've done a few things (if you are into fashion and cheese). But I still say that they could at least learn how to syllabicate their syllables.

[JenB]

Hey, I am not defending the French. There are many reasons I have never tried to learn their language - mostly because I can't pronounce anything (!) - and since I'm not into art or weird foods, I couldn't care less about that country.

[Victoria Delsoul]

International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered.

Hahahahahahahahaha!

[Sir Gawain]

I knew you would pick out that line. :-D

[Victoria Delsoul]

That's the best line. :-D

[Sir Gawain]

while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick.

hehe