Posted on 02/27/2002 4:20:00 AM PST by Pharmboy
(If anyone doesn't know what any of that means, the rest won't mean anything to you so you can skip to the next post).
So my brother was getting caught up in this incredibly complex program trying to calculate the correct code for every character. Since I had already graduated he figured I would know a better answer and called me.
I told him that memory was cheap and programmer time was expensive. If he were working for me I would want him to build an indexed table in memory of all the correct codes and use the letter to grab the value out of the table and send it to the LCD. Long table. Short program that is easy to write and practically impossible to screw up. He said the prof used his homework to lecture the entire class about engineering trade-offs.
The problem with engineering courses is that they always teach the theory, but never the practical stuff. For that you have to spend about four years on the job. Then it all comes together and work can get done.
Shalom.
Quickly! LOL!! I'll never again regret that my husband does not know more about computers!
My wife is a nutritionist and she'll love it...I'm sending it along right now.
I resemble that remark!
My husband has driven a few realtors around the bend, but the funniest thing that he does is at antiques shows. The reason that it is so funny is that he is not trying to be funny. We collect 18th century antique furniture (when we can afford it). More than once I've seen him drop down on the floor at a big charity show, pull out his flashlight and magnifying glass and start examining the underside of a piece of furniture. Usually a crowd starts to gather, and then he proceeds to expound on new wood, old wood, reasonable wear, repairs, etc. The salesman is just left standing there with his mouth open while everyone is ooohing and aahhing and nodding and I stand there trying to melt into the floor.
At the fanciest show in Chicago one year he proclaimed 4 expensive high chests to be "fakes". When I say, proclaimed, I really mean "muttered" his observations into my ear. Then he started questioning the seller very carefully. The seller wouldn't give an inch on the authenticity and age of his wares. My husband had good reasons why these pieces were not 'right'. Sure enough, a year or so later, we read that the dealer had been sued by an unhappy (read cheated) Chicago buyer of these chests of drawers and run out of business. My engineer husband felt vindicated because he had spotted the phony goods first, and none of the dealers and collectors at the show would confirm his observations.
That is one of the big differences between engineers and ordinary people. Engineers have developed their powers of observation of physical properties to a fine art. (They are not as good at observing emotional qualities in the people around them, and that is how they get crosswise with wives and co-workers.)
That is why you cannot get your professional engineering license until you have worked in an engineering capacity under the tutelege of another professional engineer for a few years in most states. Most engineers never get it.
Subject: Ticket, please
Potty Training for Engineers...
3 Apple engineers and 3 Microsoft employees are traveling by train
to a conference. At the station, the 3 Microsoft employees each buy
tickets and watch as the 3 Apple engineers buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a
Microsoft employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.
They all board the train.
The Microsoft employees take their respective seats but all three Apple
engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around
collecting tickets.
He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door
opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The
conductor takes it and moves on. The Microsoft employees saw this and
agreed it was quite a clever idea.
So after the conference, the Microsoft employees decide to copy the
Apple engineers (as they always do) on the return trip and save some money
(being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station,
they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple
engineers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed
Microsoft employee. "Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple engineer.
When they board the train the three Microsoft employees cram into a
restroom and the three Apple engineers cram into another one nearby.
The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the Apple engineers leaves
his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the Microsoft employees
are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."
1. The work we want did is clearly showed on the attatched plans and speserfaction. Our inginear, whose had plenty of college, done spent hell of a lot of time when he drawed up these here plans and speserfactions. But nobody connot think of everything. Once your bid is in, that’s it brother. From then on, anything wanted by our inginear, or any of his friends, or anybody else (except the contrakter) shall be considered as showed specified, or emplied and shall be pervided by the contrakter without the expense to nobody, but hisself (menin the contrakter).
2. If the work is did without no extry expence to the contrakter, then the work will be tookdown and did over again until the extry expence to the contrakter is satisfactory to our inginear.
3. Our inginear’s plans is right as drawed. If sumthin is drawed wrong, it shall be discuvered by the contrakter, kerected, and did right with no extry expence to us. It won’t cut no ice with us or our inginear if you point out any mistakes our inginear has drawed. If you do, it will be one hell of a long time before you do any more work for us or him (meanin the inginear).
4. The contrakter is not sposed to make fun of the inginear, his plans, or the kind of work we’re havin did. If he do, it’s just too bad for him (meanin the contrakter).
5. Any contrakter walkin around the job with a smile on his or her face is subject to the revue of his bid.
6. If the contrakter don’t find all our inginears mistakes before he bids this job, or if the contrakter aint got enuf sence to know that our inginears goin to thinkup a bunch of new stuff that’s goin to have to be did before the job is completely did, then it’s just too bad for him (meanin the contrakter)
7. The contrakter gotta use all good stuff on this job-- none of this crap from Japan.
I give up, he may find the perfect one in about 2 years.
MKM
Otherwise, your post sounds mighty familiar. The problem is that the people around you get really irritated at your authoritative answers and consider you opinionated, I'll bet. You have to understand that your mind works differently than theirs, and you need to lead them along so that they come to the conclusion you have already determined and they think that they figured it out on their own.
That is how engineers get to be named 'boss'.
Are you left handed too? Two of my engineers are left handed, and that further complicates understanding between them and the rest of the world.
LOL! Well I don't want give them up completely -- just need someone to commiserate with me once in a while!
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