Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built

The Onion ^ | 05/29/02

[Slyfox]

The New Capitol WeatherCock

[philman_36]

I say that if they get the new building they go ahead with the "full contact" politics that have been on the drawing board for years. The politics they've been playing for years is wimpy and just hasn't been interesting viewing at all.

[Uff Da]

Lapointe said he is "fed up" with the legislators and their demands.

"Those guys are all just a bunch of spoiled, overpaid crybabies," Lapointe said. "All they want is money—they don't care about all the hardworking people who pay their salaries. Look at 'em: When's the last time you saw them acting like a team? They can take their capitol and shove it."

I totally agree with Lapointe.........These egotistical creeps are unbelieveable...........I thought this was some sort of a joke at first...........

[ctonious]

Calling the current U.S. Capitol "inadequate and obsolete," Congress will relocate to Charlotte or Memphis if its demands for a new, state-of-the-art facility are not met, leaders announced Monday.

Apparently, the Onion doesn't read newspapers. Down here in Charlotte, we just got rid of a vicious gang of freeloaders and outright criminals, by refusing to build a new arena, at taxpayer expense, for the Charlotte Hornets (when they really needed a maximum-security facility). After that victory, the LAST thing we want is an A-Team of 500-plus thieves, hypocrites and scoundrels that make the Hornets look like choir boys. Send'em to Memphis...I understand "The Firm" was situated there.

[DETAILER]

If they get this new Capitol Building, will season ticket prices be going up? I'll bet the luxury boxes will really cost a bundle. And concessions? They'll probably double....

[cav68]

If this was only true, they want a perfect world for themselves and yes, continually fornicate us from all angles. I would enjoy the realism of these people one day joining us as workers supplying their every little need. If these people truly believe they can threaten us now after what they fail to accomplish regarding our well being why yes, George lets giv'em what they need a summer vacation and a raise to go along with what ever they might want. Damn

[BUMPA31]

just a bunch of pompus ass's, they'll proberly want a built in whorehouse, and a credit card to go with it....

[Pure Country]

"If we want to stay competitive, we need to upgrade," said House Majority Leader Dick Gephardt (D-MO), who has proposed a new $3.5 billion capitol on the site of the current edifice. "Look at British Parliament. Look at the Vatican. Respected institutions in their markets. But without modern facilities, they've been having big problems attracting top talent."

That's it, that's why we have such rotten Dems in DC.

[chiefqc]

This bunch of whining twits need to wake up and smell the roses. They leach off the public, have the best medical benifits, best pension plan, get paid good money for very little production, more perks than any average worker can only dream about, and they threaten to leave D.C unless they get a new capitol.

Before they start issuing threats, they need to start performing the job that they were sent to do. In any other business they would not last very long because all they do is have meeting and then another meeting and then another meeting with the end result being nothing decided, back stabing, arguing and then another meeting, etc., etc., etc..

Remember you whiners, you are elected officials not Gods worthy of palaces to honor your positions.

[wbill]

I love The Onion. I also love the people that reply to these stories.

Did you know that the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?

[ctonious]

I love The Onion. I also love the people that reply to these stories..... Did you know that the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?

We all know it's a spoof. It's the Onion. The fun is responding in kind. The ridiculousness of this world, particularly the political one, makes it somewhat meaningless whether it is real or not. I expect something this stupid from Congress. And we're all just practicing how to deal with it when the morons actually do something like this.

[RedBloodedAmerican]

Edit it to read "weathered" and you can include her *cough* husband.

[tomball]

"Inadequate and obsolete" are the exact words I could use to describe the majority of politicians who call themselves congressmen.

      "If we want to stay competitive, we need to upgrade," said House Majority Leader Dick Gephardt (D-MO), who has proposed a new $3.5 billion capitol on the site of the current edifice. "Look at British Parliament. Look at the Vatican. Respected institutions in their markets. But without modern facilities, they've been having big problems attracting top talent."

The U.S. Capitol is not Disneyland. This is a place of business, not play. Concession stands and public facilities for tourists were not in original framer's minds when this building was constructed. Unless people have business with their representatives, the capitol should be respected for what it is, not what Dick Gephardt wants it to be. Who is Gephart competing with? The Vatican? Parliament? Perhaps Mr. Gephart forgot he is supposed to be an elected representative of the U.S.A. -- "Attracting top talent?" Real "top talent" is only attracted to those with honor and integrity, not smear campaigns. It isn't the building that does the attracting.The best and only way to upgrade the U.S. Capitol is to rid the place of the egotistical politicians who occupy it.

[Fzob]

Did you know that the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?

Almost made me look. :]

[TRY ONE]

....The New Capitol WeatherCock...

According to George Carlin why is the Weather Vane always a Cock????

Ans....Because if it were a c**t the wind would just blow through it.....

[KC_Conspirator]

Despite the claims, there are many who do not understand that "the Onion" is satire...

[Phantom Lord]

Most people understand that the onion is humor and parody. But trust me, some people on here take it as seriously as if it was on the front page of the WSJ. Not everyone catches that it is a joke.

[Enterprise]

They can simply build next to the Mustang Ranch near Reno. That way, they can drink, whore, smoke, and gamble. Oh, I forgot, they do that now anyway.

[Emile]

Second your view. These crybabies ought to steer clear of NC. As Jesse Helms famously said about a certain X42, they might want to bring their bodyguards if they come.

In any event, I'm hoping they go on strike in August the same time the real players do, and then *stay* on strike permanently. "That government is best which governs least."