Congress Threatens To Leave D.C. Unless New Capitol Is Built

The Onion ^ | 05/29/02

[Commodore Schmidlab]

Dallas, Seattle, and Toronto have also been mentioned as long shots. They were thinking of moving the Capital of the US to Toronto?

[ctonious]

They can simply build next to the Mustang Ranch near Reno. That way, they can drink, whore, smoke, and gamble. Oh, I forgot, they do that now anyway.

Maybe that's why the Federal government owned and OPERATED the Mustang Ranch for awhile, after it took it over for non-payment of taxes. I am NOT kidding. Remember that?

[Catspaw]

If they get this new Capitol Building, will season ticket prices be going up? I'll bet the luxury boxes will really cost a bundle. And concessions? They'll probably double....

With luck, that can be partially offset by the naming rights, but that's going to cost some corporation some serious ching.

[Stand Watch Listen]

Did you know that the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?

Hmmmmmmm....let's try this new-fangled invention, the internet.

http://www.m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary

One entry found for gullible. Main Entry: gull·ible
Variant(s): also gull·able /'g&-l&-b&l/
Function: adjective
Date: 1818
: easily duped or cheated
- gull·ibil·i·ty /"g&-l&-'bi-l&-tE/ noun
- gull·ibly /'g&-l&-blE/ adverb

[Wave Rider]

A BIG PING - It could not have been said any better!!!!!!!

[Romulus]

Did you know that the word 'gullible' isn't in the dictionary?

Um...no.

[Phantom Lord]

They were thinking of moving the Capital of the US to Toronto?

Check the source buddy. This article is a joke.

[philman_36]

This article is a joke.
With the ever unfortunate tinge of realism.

[DETAILER]

If they get this new Capitol Building, will season ticket prices be going up? I'll bet the luxury boxes will really cost a bundle. And concessions? They'll probably double....

With luck, that can be partially offset by the naming rights, but that's going to cost some corporation some serious ching.

How about a merger? It could become the "Lippo, Loral, Tyson Capitol Building"

[Wolfie]

All kidding aside, I'm more worried about the rampant steroid use among our nation's law-makers. No way Nadler gets his neck that big without the juice.

[KC_Conspirator]

PL, (Ahem) I alrady knew that. C'mon already, what am I, a newbie? I mentioned that the website was satire.

[Phantom Lord]

I flagged you and a couple others to that post because you had spoke of people who take the onion as if it was real and wanted to point out a good one on the thread.

[Uff Da]

they threaten to leave D.C unless they get a new capitol.

After thinking about that 'threat'.............I'd say they would be doing us a favor........but the unfortunate part of it all is they'd just set up their CON GAME somewhere else........

[KC_Conspirator]

Sorry about that.

[wbill]

Did you know that Al Gore invented the internet? He must have fixed the dictionary when he did.

[irish_lad]

This must be a joke. It's too damn stupid to be anything else but.

[lavaroise]

I say build them a new age gladiator arena. If they want to insult intelligence, that is what they deserve.

[Enterprise]

I remember that the ranch got shut down over taxes or something like that, but I wasn't aware that the Government actually operated it. It's appropriate though.

[mr1776]

KEYWORDS

DOME
HUMOR
NEW CAPITAL
PARODY

[CounterCounterCulture]

The Washington Senators have already left...twice...when will we ever learn?

The bit about relocating to Toronto was a neat twist. Retractable dome...cool!

Today's parody is tomorrow's pork project...