However, my choice, and that of many professionals for a truly comfortable, LIGHT and concealable handgun is the SigSauer P232.
I violates two of your rules:
.380 (learn to shoot accurately and buy Corbon ammo!)
SA/DA (VERY good trigger)
The only gun that will save your life is the one you have with you........and this little Sig at around $400 is the lightest, most comfortable.......and one of the most accurate(the barrel is rigid-mount....does not float) guns on the market.
Ideal for women......and men who can stay calm and SHOOT.
Even in .38 Special, they are way too lightweight for the recoil. They will kick so much you won't get enough practice. That severe kick also even limits what kind of ammo you can use in many titanium revolvers.
As for judging reliability by brand, I'd note that recent-production S&W snubbies are poor in design, quality control, or both.
Also, reviews in any gun magazine taking ads tend to be biased by the publisher's addiction to ad money.
GUN REVIEWS free from ad-money bias - emphasizing woman-friendliness of tested guns!
There is at least one exception: the Kel-tec P32 (.32ACP) uses a tilt-barrel locked-breach action. I've never fired one, but supposedly the use of a locked-breach action allows for a lighter-weight gun and looser recoil spring, while mitigating the 'kick' that would otherwise be felt in such a lightweight gun.
BTW, blowback 9mm's and .45ACP's exist (Hi-Point IIRC); while caliber is often a good indication of whether a firearm has a locked breach, it's not entirely conclusive.
The most important change I made was getting rid of the rubber grips. I changed to a smooth fake ivory because the rubber was chaffing my skin plus the rubber was retaining the perspiration and pitting the stainless steel.