Posted on 06/17/2013 5:42:11 PM PDT by grundle
What is wrong with this picture?
It's one of those things that you don't get, until you get it. Unless you are eternally empathetic, you look at this photo and don't see much wrong at all.
To Anne Belanger, mother of Miles, the photo is unbearable to look at.
When the class portrait for her son's Grade 2 class came home, she opened it excitedly, and immediately shoved it back in the envelope. She couldn't look at it. It broke her heart.
Anne's son, Miles, has Spinal Muscular Atrophy. At the age of 13 months, his parents were told that Miles would never walk, he has spent his life in a wheelchair.
Miles knows he's different than the rest of the kids, but he still tries to fit in. So there he is, on the far side of the image, neck craning as far as he can to stretch into the frame with the rest of his friends. He's beaming. It's school picture day and he's thrilled.
But the photo still broke Anne's heart. The photo was a clear example of how set apart her son is from society. Instead of a big group hug photo with Miles at the center, and classmates and teachers all around, a fully inclusive image, he was stuffed off to the side, some 3 feet away. An after thought, it seems.
(Excerpt) Read more at shine.yahoo.com ...
What a beautiful post!
It is unfair to characterize posters here who do not view this as a big deal as insensitive or uncaring. Just because they don't see it as an extreme tragedy does NOT mean they want to ship all disabled people off to an island or that they would stand by and do nothing if "jackals" were tormenting this child.
That sort of exaggeration is what conservatives criticize liberals for doing. If you disagree with the homosexual lifestyle, you want to "send them all off to the gas chambers"! Or liberals "decide" that Native Americans are "offended" because a sports team has an Indian name, so we must change it after 50 years. Even if no Indian has ever complained. We need to follow the lead of the child, not the mother in this case!
And yes, I have a very close relative who is disabled. No fewer than 14 professionals are assembled several times during the school year to manage her individual learning plan, physically, psychologically, therapeutically (speech/hearing), technologically, and educationally. (Not all school tax dollars go to teacher bennies.)
The family of this girl takes their cues from the girl herself. They also try to give her as many experiences as possible, to dilute the negative experiences of being stared at or whispered about by strangers.
Pay attention to the child, not so much the mother. There are lot of raw emotions from those with special needs children, understandably. There is heartbreak every day. It's really hard, but adults need not to make their heartbreaks the kid's too. He has his own, and they might not match up with yours.
Some of the comments on this thread are far more disturbing.
My mother, may she rest in peace, was the finest person I've ever known. She would have looked at this photo and heard the mother's voice, and she would have written:
"There, but for the grace of God, go I."
Compassion and Christ-like empathy used to be conservative values.
It’s a shame so many freepers are now liberals who whine about inconsequential issues/make up issues that don’t exist. How’s that work for you?
Seriously, a thread, a contentious one at that, about a class picture with a handicapped...oh wait disabled...oh wait special needs...oh wait...what’s the most current PC label?...child. What exactly is wrong with the picture? The kid looks happy. Mom not happy with the picture? Hell I’ve been there too since class pictures tend to suck, lol.
Mothers hearts break all the time. I know mine has. Should I have gone to the media?
I’ve told this story before, and will tell it again.
When my daughter was maybe four, we were standing in line in front of a local bakery one morning. She was groggy, or sleepy, tired, or out of it, and a man standing behind us, noticing it, asked me if she was “special”. I answered that sure, she was “special”, and only after he proceeded with a story of his or his relative’s disabled child, did I realize that he had asked me, using an idiotic euphemism, if my daughter was retarded! I didn’t feel like explaining anything to the man, we bought our bread, me and my special daughter, and we were on our way..
Interesting. I kinda agree with him.
So did reason and logic.
You’ve never heard of a catheter? That is one possibility, the other is that he has an Aid assigned to him who would help transfer him to an accessible toilet.
But transferring him out of his chair without the necessary skill and permission of his mother would be a big no, no and leave the school open to a lawsuit if he was injured.
There really is no justification for transferring him out of his wheelchair in order to take a class photo.
Over two hundred (200) posts on another feel-good/feel-bad, victim/martyr, politically-correct/politically-incorrect, liberal media schmaltz/heartstrings/obscure protagonists non-story.
I'll bet if someone posts a thread on the Kardashian preemie love baby, it'll get over a thousand comments including half-a-dozen food fights.
It's all quite fascinating.
Leni
How exactly does compassion for the mother of a seriously disabled child demonstrate a lack of reason or logic?
Why? I really want that to be explained to me. Cause frankly it comes across as condescending and mawkish as if he is the class mascot and not just a kid who happens to be in a wheelchair. A kid who should be treated by the others in the class like an equal not like a chance to show how great the rest of them are for “accepting” him.
I hope that Hollywood will pick up this tragedy and make an Academy Award Winning entertainment vehicle product out of it. Just be sure to bring your hankies!
Some people are insensitive, or even ignorant. They mean no harm. They just don’t know any better.
Then there is the rare individual who knows how painful the taunting can be, and is actually entertained by it. They can go on for hours, making snide remarks, and laughing until their bellies ache. They don’t have a point. It’s a mental disability.
Will what do the other children do in order to be nominated? I doubt your son is the only one who is not nominated. So it might not be because he has special needs. It might simply be that another student met the criteria for nomination when other students didn’t.
You can always find out from his teacher what type of accomplishments the students get recognition for and work with your son to make it a reality for him. If she tells you things that are simply impossible for your son to accomplish because of his disability you should gently but firmly remind her that she is essentially denying him access to an important part of his education and suggest ways for him to participate. If she does not get this you need to remind her that your son has a right to this access.
It might help to speak with the teacher and whoever was involved with the development of his IEP. You can ask for adjustments to the plan. You can also request an Aid for him if you think one is necessary to make sure he is able to participate as equally as possible in school activities.
I've attended many IEP meetings with parents as the "regular education" teacher. I'm generally surprised at how little most of the parents have to say.
The meeting is for you, and it is the best time to voice concerns about any aspect of your child's education, including his social interaction with peers and his sense of community within the school.
The only group of parents who are vocal in these meetings are the parents of gifted children, and I promise you they're not shy about laying out their goals for their children and asking how the school can help with those.
It’s depressing to see how many conservative posters don’t know the difference between political correctness and human compassion. People like those making the needlessly dickish comments about the mom are fueling the stereotypes that the rest of us get tarred with.
Thanks for your perspective on the IEP. The laws regarding the rights of disabled children to an education are readily available and I don’t understand why more parents don’t avail themselves of this information and advocate more for their child.
Thanks for sharing your story. :)
I’ll share mine now. One of my four kids (the 2nd of 4) had a severe audiroty processing delay. 6%tile. I had her tested when she was 3 since she wasn’t speaking on time...private tests, she’s fine. I had her tested when she was 5 for Kindergarten...with the CST...she’s fine but has a lisp so she’ll get speech (she went to Catholic School and the Public School District provided for it). I had her tested again when she was 7 in 2nd grade because something was wrong...and it wasn’t a lisp. She wasn’t a behavior problem and she didn’t have a basic skills problem. So I had her privately tested again and she was in the 6th %tile. She would have fallen through the cracks because she was well behaved, didn’t have a basic skills problem and compensated for her “disability.” Oh and did I mention some of the other kids “bullied” her until mommy found out and put a stop to it by threatening the little brats? I didn’t rely on the school, or the government, or my 7 year old child. I took control.
She’s now a senior in the honors college at a University...her IEP ended in the middle of 6th grade because she was a straight A student and I figured she didn’t need any modifications...and she didn’t. She learned to compensate for her delay/disability and didn’t want special treatment. I had to fight with the school, the county special services, to get her off the IEP in 6th grade. She begged me and I agreed with her. High school never knew or if they did, they couldn’t do anything about it. She was in all honors classes without an IEP or any modifications. She’s now a senior in college, in her University’s Honors College.
She didn’t want to use her auditory processing delay as crutch when she was a child! and we sure didn’t allow her to use it as a crutch. Scholar, Athlete, all around great kid and all because she and her support system cared about her and not some mushy feely crap.
I think all of my kids are “special” in different ways. My oldest just graduated with a BSME. She’s self sufficient and will always have a job. Plus she’s gorgeous and fun and smart.
My next kid is the one I talked about above and she’s an honors student in the honors college at her university working on her honors thesis that was approved without changes. She’s also double majoring in Math, is the lead singer for a band, plays 2 inatruments, etc. and is working for her second summer at a major local day care center. She also plays in a collegiate competitive volleyball league.
My third is also an honor student and athlete and now a senior in high school. Yes, I’m proud. She’s worked hard for it and she deserves it and hopefully college scholarship money will flow like it did for her two older sisters.
And the youngest...my clone. Straight A student until she got to high school when she no longer cared. Social Butterfly. Miss Popularity. I’m pulling my gray hair out but while I’m doing that, along with my headache, I’m raising her and parenting her, as is my husbad. And it’s hard. It’s always been hard to parent.
As for this topic of the thread, what is the real issue? Was the photographer purposely excluding this child? Doubtful. Was the teacher, school, classmates? Doubtful. Is the Mom being an attention seeking liberal with the media on her side? Probably. And, I’m probably too cynical.
Just amazes me sometimes that some conservatives want the same thing as liberals and all of it screws the rest of us.
Today our local news reported a disabled man was attacked and beaten with his own prosthetic leg. I have no doubt that is a source of humor for some of the jerks posting here tonight. They are not conservatives. They’re jackasses.
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