Yes, FR does have a singles section, that is where I got this picture, I can't remember her freeper name right now or I would have pinged her.
Posted on 09/20/2022 7:29:27 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Despite their similarities, being pursued and being simped for couldn’t be more different.
We’ll be honest: We, as women, really enjoy being pursued. We like knowing that the guy we’ve had our eye on is interested. We love feeling like the object of someone’s affection. We enjoy the thought of him deciding to ask us out, planning a romantic date, and opening a door for us. More than anything, we like to be pursued because it lets us know that we’re special, chosen, and sought after.
But maybe you’ve experienced a guy who was a little too eager to get on our radar, a bit on the desperate side for even a modicum of attention from us, to the point where it was a turn-off. There’s quite a fine line between being wooed and being groveled for — a world of difference between being chased after and being begged for.
After all, we all want a guy who’s willing to pursue us, charm us, and win us over, but a simp? That’s not for us. Hang on, what even is a simp?
What Is a Simp?
Simply put, a simp is a person who goes way above and beyond to impress, flatter, and placate someone they like, practically treating them like royalty. However, this treatment is one-sided, unreciprocated by their crush. When a guy is simping for a girl, he might shower her with compliments, buy her random gifts, send sweet texts, pay for her meals, bend over backward to impress her, or remain too available to her.
But wait… Some of that sounds like…normal flirting. So what’s the difference between a guy who’s pursuing you and a guy who’s simping for you?
He’ll Leave a Little to Your Imagination A guy who’s simping for a girl will give her the complete boyfriend treatment, all without getting any sign of interest, commitment, or reciprocation from her. She won’t ever have to wonder what it’d be like to have him as her boyfriend because he’s already acting like it.
A guy who’s pursuing you will leave you wanting more attention, the kind he only offers to his girlfriend.
But when a guy is simply pursuing you, he’ll want to leave a little bit to your imagination. He’ll show you affection and give you special treatment, but he’ll withhold just enough that you’ll be left wanting more attention from him — attention that he only offers to someone he’s officially dating.
He Won’t Be Afraid of Boundaries
The number one sign of a guy who’s simping is his lack of boundaries. If the object of his affection tells him to jump, he’ll ask how high. There’s nothing he won’t do to be in her good graces, even if everyone else around him is discouraging his behavior or he’s borderline embarrassing himself or she’s openly dating other guys. There is essentially nothing she could do wrong in his eyes.
But for a guy who’s pursuing you? Of course, being in your good graces is also a priority of his, but not at the sake of his boundaries, dignity, and self-respect. He might go out of his way to surprise you with your favorite iced coffee or always make sure to send a cute “good morning” text, but he won’t let someone walk all over him. And you’ll be capable of doing something wrong in his eyes (which, by the way, is the sign of a healthy guy).
He’ll Let You Hit the Ball Back
A guy who’s simping for a girl will be in a completely one-sided relationship, giving her all the affection, attention, and adoration he can muster, thinking this will get her to finally realize that it’s been him all along. But he’ll do all of this without even waiting for her to show interest back or give him a reason to show her this kind of treatment.
A huge part of the courting process is like a dance, with one person making a move, and the other moving in kind. When a guy is chasing with you, he’ll be waiting for you to hit the ball back — to be the one to text first sometimes, or to initiate a hand-hold, or to offer him evidence that his efforts aren’t in vain.
He’ll Want To Be Impressed Too
A simping guy will go above and beyond to impress the girl he’s hoping to win over. He’ll constantly be talking himself up, making his job sound more important than it is, or dress to the high nines just for her. He’ll do all of this without ever wanting to be impressed himself.
A guy who’s pursuing you will want to know that you’re a catch as well.
But when it comes to dating, guys aren’t the only ones who should impress, and a guy who’s simply pursuing you will know that. He’ll obviously talk his best game on the first few dates, wanting to set himself apart from any other guys who might want your attention. But he’ll be waiting for you to impress him, too — to tell him about your aspirations, lifestyle, job, or anything else. He’ll want to know that you’re a catch as well.
He Won’t Feel Entitled To Anything
Perhaps the worst part of a simping guy is that underneath all of the compliments, the free meals, the friendship, and the hangouts, he’ll feel entitled to more from his crush, even if she’s never shown any signs of interest. He’ll secretly believe that if he jumps through enough hoops, she’ll have to date him eventually. Every “kind” act of his comes with an ulterior motive.
Obviously, if a guy is pursuing you, he’s hoping the relationship will grow into something more. The difference is that because his pursuit isn’t totally one-sided, he won’t feel entitled to commitment or intimacy — he’s simply exploring whether a relationship between the two of you is in the cards. The motive behind his kindness is to see where the relationship can go, not to build up brownie points that he’ll one day use against you.
Closing Thoughts
While simping and pursuing can have some overlap, they ultimately couldn’t be more different in how they’re executed, how they come across, and their intentions.
Simping huh? Learn something new every day. I was more impressed when I first heard the tern high maintenance.
So, just trying to understand this edge of modern madness, the difference between a “simp” and a suitor is what the girl thinks of the fellow?
In what way is that different from the lucky and unlucky suitor, in the same way as in all of human history? The simps, then, are Freddy in Pygmalion? (”My Fair Lady” for you unliterary lot).
So, just trying to understand this edge of modern madness, the difference between a “simp” and a suitor is what the girl thinks of the fellow?
In what way is that different from the lucky and unlucky suitor, in the same way as in all of human history? The simps, then, are Freddy in Pygmalion? (”My Fair Lady” for you unliterary lot).
I learned a new word today: simp. I won’t use it, but I will know what it means.
A woman who accepts such gifts and meals from someone she’s not interested in is a horrible human being
Well, you said that you asked her to decide about her marriage plans after just three months of ‘spending time together’. And you gave her six months to declare.
That would frighten me. A man who, after such a short time, is so anxious to know how soon I’ll make up my mind would seem to have other things on HIS mind than really getting to know me.
I would have thought that you were just desperate to be married. Not a good look...
(There’s a difference between marrying a reliable sex resource and brood mare, and marrying an actual woman.)
Ididn’t buy into the sex revolution propaganda. Met my SweetBaboo in 1970…community college geology field trip to Bishop, Calif. I was 17…travelled with a girlfriend and my 15 year old sister. We practiced setting up my Dad’s old school 6 person tent…good we did because we pulled into campsite outside of Tom’s Place after dark with snow flurries. My little sister was a rebel and took off to find campfires with music going on, while my friend and I pitched the tent and setup our camp. I didn’t give a hoot about my sister, but my friend insisted we should find her and make her come back to our camp. My sister was not likely to listen to me at all. We found a camp nearby with about 10 people enjoying music and my hubby was on guitar.
I let these students know she was a minor and made her leave with us.
Back at school the next few months my Hubby was everywhere as I went from class to class. He asked me to go to a concert near Christmas time and my Aunt (who I lived with) said I should go.
We dated through college, broke up once and married in 1977.
We have shared so many wonderful times together… God has truly blessed us. Funny how one chance encounter can change lives.
I’d ping that too.
That’s a great story. I’m happy for you.
I don’t think there’s much that happens to us that is more valuable than finding a true companion to travel with through life.
Amen! We pray that our children and grandchildren can find the same.
Oh, she looks like she’d make a lovely, faithful spouse.
I bet she can cook, too...
“…but also the line that women get fed that they can just float along waiting for lightning to strike or something”
This. Endless hedging leads to…cats!
She seems very popular among the older freepers but I haven’t met her yet, her screen name is green-eyed blonde on the singles forum.
I asked the older freeper guys about the name and her hair color, but they all assured me that green-eyed blonde is full of surprises.
So, I’ve got that going for me.
Stupid
“A simp or simping refers to when someone obsesses over someone else who does not return their affection.”
The term might be from Gen-Z, but the behavior goes back a LONG time and told in the old mythologies.
Simping carries over into married life as a particularly pernicious cancer. Happy wife, happy life, is the ultimate expression of married simping. Simping at its base is failing to respect yourself as a man, and failing to have and enforce boundaries.
I have had many (3-4) that tried to reconnect with me .... and at the time, I was in a “relationship” ... and I felt obligated to my GF, Wife, #2Wife... pffffttt... all those ships sunk.... and I went down with them. I wish I would have jumped those ships and went back with the originals. I live a life of lots of regret. I have GREAT kids though!
SIMPly irresistable?
LOL I think you just won the internet! I think you just redefined SIMP..
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