DUmmie FUnnies 03-28-07 (Watching DUmmie Ants Watching Us Watching Them)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | March 28, 2007 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[NeoCaveman]

I can't believe I didn't mention the whole "24 business hours" thing.

[steve-b]

I've done a number of Pitt parodies over the last couple years, including this one

Oh, well, I'll add mine in case somebody didn't see it earlier:

Magic Man, Magic Man
Does whatever a DUmmie can
Spins a yarn, any size
Catches DUpes with his lies
Truth Out! There goes the Magic Man

Is he DUmb? Listen, bud
Hoaxmas fell on him with a thud
Can he flame at his foes?
Read it on Daily KOS
Truth Out! There goes the Magic Man

In the Pitt of night
Booze goes straight to his head
Spoiling for a fight
He tells Skinner "drop dead!"

Magic Man, Magic Man
Friendly neighborhood Magic Man
Truth and facts he's ignored
Ridicule's his reward
To him, life is all freudenschade
Wherever there's bulldada
You'll find the Magic Man!

[cdcdawg]

I wonder what music these people listen to

Grateful Dead, Allman Bros, Classic country, Bach, Mozart, Vivaldi, traditional gospel

or what films they watch?

Good grief! Whatever is on that I haven't seen 2 million times.

For instance, do they EVER see stand-up comedy??

Within the past week. Front row. Hilarious.

Am I a person now?

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

What?

No Jeff "Pork Pie Hat" Beck?

[NRA1995]

I'm more of a jazz fan than a rock fan, my friend.

[Cletus.D.Yokel]

Me, too. But, there were those years in the seventies and eighties when I....

[dirtbiker]

I must say, I'm amazed they they seem so obsessed with Will but they don't seem to want to tackle him on the important stuff...

Will tackles important stuff? SHEET FAR! (Which is Redneck for "I did not know that!")

...just a kind of fun account of a meeting with Kevin Spacey...

Kevin Spacey is fun? SHEET FAR!

...and yet the venom is really shocking, way over the top considering that Will's post on Spacey was harmless.

That must have been the week I went to a NASCAR race. I think I missed that post. On a similar note, I got to shake hands with Jeff Gordon and Ward Burton!

The personal stuff that they spew about my son is upsetting to me although it is an indication that they can't stay out of the gutter

You must first crawl INTO the gutter to debate DUmmies on their level...

...and don't have the mental wherewithall to debate him on the facts and on the things that really matter.

When Pitt actually states some facts and something that really matters, we will debate him...(BTW, "wherewithall"only has 1 "L" at the end, not 2. Spell check is your friend...)

I guess I should be happy that he can get these pond scums so agitated.

If you mean by your acting and saying things so far beyond the realm of sanity that we laugh uncontrollably, then mission accomplished!

[NRA1995]

Yes, they were good years in which I added R & B and Steely Dan and little else to my jazz jones....

[Charles Henrickson]

SELF-RECANTED EVENING
Tune: "Some Enchanted Evening"

Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.

Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.

Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.

Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!

Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!

[Charles Henrickson]

MAKE ME KNOWN, COUNTRY ROAD
Tune: "Take Me Home, Country Roads"

Almost hades, Crawford Texas
Bush Ranch protest, Sheehan doin' talk shows
Press is out there, underneath the tree
Lookin' for some talkers, might as well be me

Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road

All my DUmmies rally round me
Mindless, lazy, looking for a leader
Read my bloggings, written on the fly
Boring waste of bandwidth, glazing of the eye

Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road

I wear a hat, in the mirror I see Eastwood
The ladies on DU think I'm hot when I pose
But sweatin' in the sun I get the feelin'
That I should have worn some lighter clothes, lighter clothes

Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road
Make me known, country road
Make me known, country road . . .

[Charles Henrickson]

BOUNCER FROM NEW ORLEANS
Tune: "City of New Orleans"

Writing 'bout a bouncer from New Orleans,
Plenty of Pitt--ain't no one I love more!
Pass the made-up facts in with the twaddle,
Full of Will's rambling speech galore.

Mid the grunts of barroom bouncers
And the sounds from here in Cheers,
Still my brilliance echoes through the rooms!
DUmmies with their minds asleep
Are buying all the crap I sweep--
This yarn's got the scent of certain barnyard fumes!

Good making DUmmieland my barroom!
Don't you know me, I'm so full of it!
I'm the guy who uses bouncers from New Orleans,
I'll be gone five hundred lines 'cause I'm Willie Pitt!

[Charles Henrickson]

MAKE ME KNOWN, RANDI RHODES
Tune: "Take Me Home, Country Roads"

Almost radio, Air America
On with Randi, chance to go on with her
I can talk there, talkin' to my peeps
Wow them with my brilliance, put them all to sleep

Randi Rhodes, make me known
To the place I belong
Air America, my own talk show
Make me known, Randi Rhodes

Almost seven list'ners call in
Loyal DUmmies, stranger than your neighbors
Now they hear me, magic on the mike
Rabid barkin' moonbats, just the kind I like

Randi Rhodes, make me known
To the place I belong
Air America, my own talk show
Make me known, Randi Rhodes

They hear my voice, on the phone lines they all call me
The radio reminds me that my foll'wing is big
And sittin' at the mike I get the feelin'
That I should have my own high-paid gig, high-paid gig

Randi Rhodes, make me known
To the place I belong
Air America, my own talk show
Make me known, Randi Rhodes
Make me known, Randi Rhodes
Make me known, Randi Rhodes. . .

[Charles Henrickson]

THE TWENTY-FOUR (BUSINESS) HOURS OF FITZMAS
Tune: "The Twelve Days of Christmas"

On the twenty-fourth hour of Fitzmas
My truthout gave to me:
Twenty-four bonus hours
Twenty-three bogus sources
Twenty-two sealed indictments
Twenty-one new excitements
Twenty Leopolds leaping
Nineteen FReepers freeping
Eighteen crowded dockets
Seventeen Sonny Crocketts
Sixteen corks a-popping
Fifteen-hour meeting
Fourteen Freudenschades
Thirteen Pipers piping
Twelve DUmmies griping
Eleven Roves a-packing
Ten dollars lacking
Nine shots at Skinner
Eight crows for dinner
Seven crews amassing
Six days a-passing
Five LOUSY TROLLS!
Four Patton Boggs
Three fresh blogs
Two marching frogs
And a Pitt ribbed in a parody!

[Cheburashka]

I can almost hear Arlo Guthrie singing the lyrics.

[Cheburashka]

("But I'm the magic man." --Will Pitt.)

Almost cries out for a Heart parody.

[Watery Tart]

Hey, PJ, do you know any good comedy clubs to go to?

[PJ-Comix]

The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles and NY. Owned by my friend, Jamie Masada.