Posted on 03/28/2007 5:06:24 PM PDT by PJ-Comix
Every once in awhile, the residents of my DUmmie Ant Farm stop in the middle of their Leftwing Circular Mill and suddenly notice that they are being watched. And what they see makes them VERY self concious. As is typical in this DUmmie THREAD, they are outraged because they are being quoted word for word accurately for all to laugh at. This seems to be typical among those of the Leftwing Loony persuasion nowadays. Their attitude is "How dare you quote what we actually say!!!" Sorry, but Copy and Paste is the secret of the DUmmie FUnnies success. We accurately quote you to maximize the laughs. We just can't make up this priceless comedy material. As a special bonus, we even have a cameo appearance by Pied Piper Pitt's mother, DUmmie Raven, in this thread. So let us now watch the DUmmies watch us in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thanking the DUmmies for the many laughs, is in the [brackets]:
I can't figure out the problem the freeps have with these DU threads.
[No problem at all. We just like to harvest your material for laughs.]
I read both of them and I honestly can't figure out why they honed in on these particular threads. Maybe they don't like a celebrity encounter? Perhaps it's something personal? Oh wait...most of it is vaguely homophobic.
[As chronicled in yesterday's EDITION of the DUmmie FUnnies, there is something very FUnnie in Will "I'm where celebrity worship goes to die" Pitt's desperate groupie-like attempts to hit on Kevin Spacey.]
I'd say they're rabidly jealous of Mr. Pitt.
[Yeah. I'm green with envy. Pitt actually got to TOUCH Kevin Spacey. OMG!!!]
They hate Hollyweird
[Why should I hate Hollyweird when they provide such great DUFU material?]
The Freepers are so bereft of imagination, if they couldn't pull OUR threads and attack US, they'd have nothing to post. True! They live to attack and hate "the other." You and me, dear fellow DUers, are the reason for their angst as well as motivation for them to carry on with their seemingly miserable existence, i.e., self righteousness and condemnation of all others unlike themselves. We are very special to these troglodytes known as "The Freepers."
[Yes, you are special to us. An ENDLESS source of comedy material.]
Bukowskis rocks by the way
[But it doesn't sound like a great place to pick up chicks.]
Wow...I think I need to take a shower. I don't usually go to Free Republic because it feels like descending into a sewer. I must say, I'm amazed they they seem so obsessed with Will but they don't seem to want to tackle him on the important stuff...just a kind of fun account of a meeting with Kevin Spacey...and yet the venom is really shocking, way over the top considering that Will's post on Spacey was harmless. The personal stuff that they spew about my son is upsetting to me although it is an indication that they can't stay out of the gutter and don't have the mental wherewithall to debate him on the facts and on the things that really matter. I guess I should be happy that he can get these pond scums so agitated.
[And that was Pied Piper Pitt's mother aka Raven. So Raven, or let me call you Mom, the reason why we seemed "obsessed" with Will is that he provides us with the BEST comedy material. Whether it is his prediction that Karl Rove had already been indicted on May 12 or his Midnight Cowboy outfit trip to Texas where he got chewed up by fireants or his overlong geopolitical treatise in which he claims that the "Third American Empire" was born at the 1980 Winter Olympics when inflamed nationalistic fans screamed "USA! USA!", Pitt is an endless source for material. And whenever he runs out of the comedy material, we never have to wait more than 24 business hours for more.]
The Spacey part was just a frame of the bigger point It's an interesting detail but it was more about The whole Devil exists and how to define it. I noticed how they just ignore the metaphor and message completely.
[Yes the segue from Spacey worship to an overlong pontificating treatise on Eisenhower's Farewell Address.]
You'd be jealous, too, if your closest encounter to fame was rubbing against the Nuge's loincloth
[Pitt's closet encounter to fame was rubbing against Keyser Soze's loincloth.]
what do they have? culturally?? other than Toby Keith? I wonder what music these people listen to or what films they watch? For instance, do they EVER see stand-up comedy?? They have nowhere to turn because EVERYONE disagrees with them and they hate it. All they can do is make gay jokes or talk about how fat Al Gore is and really can't help but watch Jon Stewart and Colbert.
[We don't listen to music. Ever. Just ask Freeper Charles Henrickson.]
I can't believe I didn't mention the whole "24 business hours" thing.
Oh, well, I'll add mine in case somebody didn't see it earlier:
Magic Man, Magic Man
Does whatever a DUmmie can
Spins a yarn, any size
Catches DUpes with his lies
Truth Out! There goes the Magic Man
Is he DUmb? Listen, bud
Hoaxmas fell on him with a thud
Can he flame at his foes?
Read it on Daily KOS
Truth Out! There goes the Magic Man
In the Pitt of night
Booze goes straight to his head
Spoiling for a fight
He tells Skinner "drop dead!"
Magic Man, Magic Man
Friendly neighborhood Magic Man
Truth and facts he's ignored
Ridicule's his reward
To him, life is all freudenschade
Wherever there's bulldada
You'll find the Magic Man!
I wonder what music these people listen to
Grateful Dead, Allman Bros, Classic country, Bach, Mozart, Vivaldi, traditional gospel
or what films they watch?
Good grief! Whatever is on that I haven't seen 2 million times.
For instance, do they EVER see stand-up comedy??
Within the past week. Front row. Hilarious.
Am I a person now?
What?
No Jeff "Pork Pie Hat" Beck?
I'm more of a jazz fan than a rock fan, my friend.
Me, too. But, there were those years in the seventies and eighties when I....
Will tackles important stuff? SHEET FAR! (Which is Redneck for "I did not know that!")
...just a kind of fun account of a meeting with Kevin Spacey...
Kevin Spacey is fun? SHEET FAR!
...and yet the venom is really shocking, way over the top considering that Will's post on Spacey was harmless.
That must have been the week I went to a NASCAR race. I think I missed that post. On a similar note, I got to shake hands with Jeff Gordon and Ward Burton!
The personal stuff that they spew about my son is upsetting to me although it is an indication that they can't stay out of the gutter
You must first crawl INTO the gutter to debate DUmmies on their level...
...and don't have the mental wherewithall to debate him on the facts and on the things that really matter.
When Pitt actually states some facts and something that really matters, we will debate him...(BTW, "wherewithall"only has 1 "L" at the end, not 2. Spell check is your friend...)
I guess I should be happy that he can get these pond scums so agitated.
If you mean by your acting and saying things so far beyond the realm of sanity that we laugh uncontrollably, then mission accomplished!
Yes, they were good years in which I added R & B and Steely Dan and little else to my jazz jones....
Self-recanted evening,
When you see the flip-flops,
You may see where Pitt stops
Across the DUmmieland.
And somehow you know,
You know even then,
That sometime you'll see him
Recant once again.
Self-aggrandized weaving,
Bloviating windbag,
Going where the wind blows,
Not knowing where to stand.
He'll write to the left--
That's left to go right--
Will's so busy dancing,
He can't sleep at night.
Who can explain Pitt?
Who can tell you why?
Will gives two versions,
Neither one can fly.
Some fantastic FReeping!
Someone may be laughing,
You may hear the laughing
Among the DUFU fans.
And night after night,
When we go to bed,
That sound is our laughter--
Will Pitt's in our thread!
Once we have DUFUed
Will Pitt's swing and miss,
Then he'll discover
He can't recant this!
MAKE ME KNOWN, COUNTRY ROAD
Tune: "Take Me Home, Country Roads"
Almost hades, Crawford Texas
Bush Ranch protest, Sheehan doin' talk shows
Press is out there, underneath the tree
Lookin' for some talkers, might as well be me
Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road
All my DUmmies rally round me
Mindless, lazy, looking for a leader
Read my bloggings, written on the fly
Boring waste of bandwidth, glazing of the eye
Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road
I wear a hat, in the mirror I see Eastwood
The ladies on DU think I'm hot when I pose
But sweatin' in the sun I get the feelin'
That I should have worn some lighter clothes, lighter clothes
Country road, make me known
To the place I belong
Guest opinion, TV pundit
Make me known, country road
Make me known, country road
Make me known, country road . . .
Writing 'bout a bouncer from New Orleans,
Plenty of Pitt--ain't no one I love more!
Pass the made-up facts in with the twaddle,
Full of Will's rambling speech galore.
Mid the grunts of barroom bouncers
And the sounds from here in Cheers,
Still my brilliance echoes through the rooms!
DUmmies with their minds asleep
Are buying all the crap I sweep--
This yarn's got the scent of certain barnyard fumes!
Good making DUmmieland my barroom!
Don't you know me, I'm so full of it!
I'm the guy who uses bouncers from New Orleans,
I'll be gone five hundred lines 'cause I'm Willie Pitt!
Almost radio, Air America
On with Randi, chance to go on with her
I can talk there, talkin' to my peeps
Wow them with my brilliance, put them all to sleep
Randi Rhodes, make me known
To the place I belong
Air America, my own talk show
Make me known, Randi Rhodes
Almost seven list'ners call in
Loyal DUmmies, stranger than your neighbors
Now they hear me, magic on the mike
Rabid barkin' moonbats, just the kind I like
Randi Rhodes, make me known
To the place I belong
Air America, my own talk show
Make me known, Randi Rhodes
They hear my voice, on the phone lines they all call me
The radio reminds me that my foll'wing is big
And sittin' at the mike I get the feelin'
That I should have my own high-paid gig, high-paid gig
Randi Rhodes, make me known
To the place I belong
Air America, my own talk show
Make me known, Randi Rhodes
Make me known, Randi Rhodes
Make me known, Randi Rhodes. . .
On the twenty-fourth hour of Fitzmas
My truthout gave to me:
Twenty-four bonus hours
Twenty-three bogus sources
Twenty-two sealed indictments
Twenty-one new excitements
Twenty Leopolds leaping
Nineteen FReepers freeping
Eighteen crowded dockets
Seventeen Sonny Crocketts
Sixteen corks a-popping
Fifteen-hour meeting
Fourteen Freudenschades
Thirteen Pipers piping
Twelve DUmmies griping
Eleven Roves a-packing
Ten dollars lacking
Nine shots at Skinner
Eight crows for dinner
Seven crews amassing
Six days a-passing
Five LOUSY TROLLS!
Four Patton Boggs
Three fresh blogs
Two marching frogs
And a Pitt ribbed in a parody!
Almost cries out for a Heart parody.
Hey, PJ, do you know any good comedy clubs to go to?
The Laugh Factory in Los Angeles and NY. Owned by my friend, Jamie Masada.
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