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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Whitmer Requests National Guard Through July; Grenell Gets in Some Parting Shots

    05/28/2020 10:52:08 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 27 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The only appropriate response to this request is “Hell, no.” – Generalissimo Gretchen Whitmer, the aspiring banana republic dictator who currently serves as Michigan’s brutish Governor, made a startling request of President Trump earlier today. In a letter e-mailed to the President, Herr Gretchen has the utter gall to request an extension under U.S. Title 32 to extend her use of the state’s National Guard at federal expense through … wait for it… JULY 31. I kid you not: The power-mad Whitmer already has this authority in place through June 24, 12 days after her current lockdown order is set...
  • VIDEO: "There Is No Evidence of Widespread Voter Fraud"

    05/28/2020 8:27:22 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 10 replies
    YouTube ^ | May 28, 2020 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO As you can see in this video, voter fraud is rarer than an asteroid strike. Even the most skeptical among you will become convinced, after viewing this video, of the integrity of our voting system which is absolutely flawless.
  • Throwback Thursday: Humble Pie

    05/28/2020 6:58:28 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 16 replies
    MOTUS ^ | 5-28-20 | MOTUS
    It’s Throwback Thursday and I’ve got nothing. Except this old timey strawberry rhubarb pie I made: My neighbor gave me some rhubarb that her mother grows here. Mom and step-dad are in their 80’s and departed for their home in St. George at the beginning of the Wuhan Cooties and haven’t returned since leaving stand after stand of beautiful crimson stalks untouched. And when I  say “crimson stalks” I mean red, through and through: It might be one of the old heirloom varieties of red rhubarb that, if grown correctly – proper soil pH, regularly divided, full sun – produces...
  • William Barr is Showing how a Functioning Justice Department can Still Work

    05/28/2020 6:04:02 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 19 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The fallout from Obamagate continues to accelerate. – Attorney General William Barr announced late yesterday that he has appointed a federal prosecutor in Texas to review the thousands of “unmasking” requests made by high officials during the final weeks of the Obama Administration. This new probe will be carried out by the appropriately-named John Bash, the U.S. attorney for the Western District of Texas. Boom. From a report in the Daily Caller: Bash will carry out the probe in coordination with U.S. attorneys John Durham and Jeff Jensen, who are looking into various aspects of the Trump-Russia investigation. “The attorney...
  • Thursday News Roundup: Minneapolis Burns, Trump Expels and Orders, and Biden Passes Gas

    05/28/2020 4:42:24 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 13 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Because looting a Target and burning a McDonald’s is always the right answer to social injustice. – What you need to understand about the images coming out of Minneapolis this morning is that they are only partially organic in nature.They are being urged on by social unrest groups like Antifa and Black Lives Matter, both created by the Democrat Party and largely funded by George Soros and his myriad array of front groups in this country. Antifa/BLM staged a large protest in downtown Minneapolis yesterday in response to the brutal cop killing of a suspected check forger named George Floyd,...
  • I Wear My Face Mask in the Car

    05/27/2020 3:50:25 PM PDT · by Enlightened1 · 35 replies
    Youtube ^ | 05/09/20
    Remember that old 1980s song, "I wear my sunglasses at night"?  Well here is a the updated version of it.  
  • Pew Research Center Report Shows Danger of Living in Democrat-Controlled Areas

    05/27/2020 2:10:43 PM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 16 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Living in a Democrat congressional district can be very hazardous to your health. That has to be the main takeaway from a report issued on Tuesday by the Pew Research Center. The report, titled “Coronavirus death toll is heavily concentrated in Democratic congressional districts,” demonstrates that “Of the 44 hardest-hit congressional districts – the top 10% in terms of deaths – 41 are represented by Democrats, while three are represented by Republicans.” Pew’s researchers also found that “nearly a quarter of all the deaths in the United States attributed to the coronavirus have been in just 12 congressional districts –...
  • VIDEO: Gretchen Whitmer Claims Men With AUTOMATIC RIFLES Were Outside Her Home

    05/27/2020 9:31:32 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 75 replies
    YouTube ^ | May 27, 2020 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO I guess no one has told Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer that private ownership of automatic weapons have been illegal since 1934. Of course, her claim is about as laughably credible as her claim that her husband was just joking about wanting to be first in line to get a boat because his wife is governor. Don't worry, Amy Klobuchar. Your ranking for being named as VP nominee by Joe Biden is not threatened by Gretchen Whitmer. However, you have other big problems to worry about which was revealed EXCLUSIVELY here in the DUmmie FUnnies last week.
  • Worse than a pandemic: Warning: Killer Asteroids Headed Our Way

    05/27/2020 6:45:34 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 29 replies
    MOTUS ^ | 5-27-20 | MOTUS
    More news from space you can’t use; this time it’s gravity. Apparently Earth is losing its grip: Earth’s magnetic field, critical to all life, may be in danger from 'leaking core' Of course if you read beyond the sensational headline you will discover that not only is it leaking, “but that it has been for about 2.5 billion years.” So our task is monumental: that’s a helluva curve that needs flattening. And that’s not even the bad news: Unexplained anomaly weakening Earth’s magnetic field is EVOLVING and SPLITTING in two, warn scientists The European Space Agency (ESA) has deployed its...
  • Twitter Begins Move to De-Platform President Trump

    05/27/2020 5:06:47 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 42 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Don’t look now, but Twitter is beginning its move to de-platform the President. – Twitter took the first step towards what will almost certainly become an eventual de-platforming of President Trump’s account Wednesday. Check out the little blue blurb at the bottom of the tweets below: Hilariously, clicking on the “Get the facts” note takes you to completely false articles by corrupt outlets like CNN on the matter of mail-in voting. But that’s what Twitter does. Look, you should expect the President’s account to be banned completely well before the Republican National Convention in August. Twitter already moved to restrict...
  • Wednesday News Roundup: Cop Killing, Whitmer Dissembling, and ChinExit is Under Way

    05/27/2020 4:49:41 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 4 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    If this doesn’t make you sick, I don’t know what will. – A video made public yesterday shows four Minneapolis police killing a man on the street in broad daylight. Literally killing him. Watch: Despite the man’s repeated pleas that he can’t breathe, this policeman leaned with his knee on his neck until he died. In broad daylight, while a crowd of pedestrians watched and shouted, so these officers had to know they were being caught on video. Yet, the officer leaned on the man until he died while his three fellow officers stood around like slugs and watched. Maybe...
  • Scholars Claim Jesus Actually Told Lepers 'Stay Home, Save Lives'

    05/26/2020 4:44:05 PM PDT · by DFG · 20 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/26/2020
    The Bible contains several accounts of Jesus dealing with lepers, but these historical narratives might not be telling us the full story, some scholars are now claiming. "Rather than healing and cleansing the lepers, it seems Jesus actually just gave them an air high five and said, 'Stay home, save lives' before moving on so as not to get infected," said Dr. Robert Belling, Dean of Doubt Formation at Yale Divinity School. "It was the smart thing to do. It's how Jesus loved His neighbor. And may we all live by His example by not ever going back to work...
  • CONSERVATISM REACHES OUT. (Finding hope by remembering the past.)

    05/26/2020 1:24:22 PM PDT · by Ozguy1945 · 3 replies
    Conservatism isnt what it was. That's because everything changes. But what is truly good in people does not change as fast as fashions do. If we can find what is best in ourselves now by truly feeling what was good in our shared past, we give the future a better chance of being good.
  • Ratcliffe Sworn-in as DNI – What Next for Ric Grenell?

    05/26/2020 11:51:23 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 41 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    John Ratcliffe was sworn into office as the new Director of National Intelligence Tuesday morning. Especially relevant was the man who did the swearing-in: His predecessor Ric Grenell. In just 90 days on the job, Mr. Grenell performed one of the great services to our country in its history. By the sheer force of his will and his willingness to take personal risks for the greater good, Grenell completely exposed the scope and scale of the scandal we are now calling Obamagate. As a parting salute to Grenell, the folks at the Daily Caller put together a great piece cataloging...
  • Newsom Threatens to Fire First-Responders [semi-satire]

    05/26/2020 10:20:31 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 24 May 2020 | John Semmens
    California Gov. Gavin Newsom (D) says "the federal government has an ethical obligation to bail out my state. Admittedly, we might have been excessively generous in how we spent taxpayers' money. Perhaps this was a mistake. However, there is no need to make the people of California suffer for the miscues of their government. The federal government has an unconstrained power to create money. Failure to use this power to rescue California from bankruptcy would be a crime against humanity." Among the "miscues" are $1 trillion in unfunded pension liabilities, 15,000 hotel rooms leased to house the homeless along with...
  • VIDEO: Has Joe Biden Become the Grim Reaper?

    05/26/2020 9:44:10 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 25 replies
    YouTube ^ | May 26, 2020 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO Joe Biden briefly emerged from seclusion for the first time in a couple of months and the question has to be asked: Has Joe Biden become the Grim Reaper?
  • Surviving the New Pandemic

    05/26/2020 6:26:57 AM PDT · by NOBO2012
    MOTUS ^ | 5-26-20 | MOTUS
    There is another worldwide pandemic that you might not be fully aware of, as news coverage is purely anecdotal. Just so you know… Of course that will require me to adopt a new rule pertaining to social distancing. and a new cleaning and sanitation procedure. From MOTUS A.D.
  • Democrats Panic Over Coming Good Economic News

    05/26/2020 5:36:46 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 20 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    This tells you all you need to know about the Democrat Party and its hatred for Main Street America. A new story at Politico today details a growing sense of panic among leaders in the Democrat Party over the prospect that the U.S. economy might actually – gasp! – recover in the months leading up to the November election. You seriously could never make this stuff up. From the Politico story: In early April, Jason Furman, a top economist in the Obama administration and now a professor at Harvard, was speaking via Zoom to a large bipartisan group of top...
  • Tuesday News Roundup – WHO Stunt, Trump Threat, Biden Mask and a New Leftist Religion is Born

    05/26/2020 4:45:39 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 17 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Democrats destroy everything they touch. – The utterly feckless and corrupt World Health Organization announced on Sunday that it was temporarily suspending trials studying the effects of hydroxychloroquine related to the Wuhan Virus due to “safety concerns.” So, now this tool of China that helped create this global pandemic through its fealty to ChiCom talking points is now pulling rank political stunts to try to influence the U.S. election. The Trump Administration should respond by challenging the WHO to show the world the mass graves of lupus and malaria patients who have been successfully and safely using hydroxychloroquine under doctor...
  • At Moving Press Conference, Governor Invites Citizens To Come Forward And Accept Government Into Their Hearts

    05/25/2020 12:23:48 PM PDT · by DFG · 7 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/25/2020
    A local state governor brought the house down this week with a rousing press conference that left everyone in tears. As people around the state watched, intently waiting for the governor to give them hope, or at least permission to get a haircut, the governor gave a speech to remind his citizens where their hope truly came from. "Only my benevolent power can save you!" the governor said. "There is still time to accept the government as your own personal lord and savior! With every head bowed and every eye closed, I want you to take this moment and invite...