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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

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  • Prelude to a Long Holiday Weekend

    05/24/2018 5:48:18 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 5-24-18 | MOTUS
    I have a few unrelated thoughts ahead of the upcoming Memorial Day weekend which for many will start tomorrow. 1. Having a child makes you a parent for the rest of your life, but that doesn’t mean you need provide room and board to said child for the rest of your life. “The Children Are Our Future” was not intended as a threat.2.  “Scientists” have now declared that if you drink just one additional glass of wine per week over and above what they’ve determined to be good for you, you will shorten your life by 30 minutes. Pretty precise...
  • If the Rosenstein Stonewall Continues Today, the President Must Fire Him

    05/24/2018 4:53:54 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 24 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – Don’t look now, but Tesla founder and CEO Elon Musk, after running up the cost of his infamous Model 3 from $36,000 to as much as $100,000, is threatening to actually do something good for a change: Elon Musk ✔ @elonmusk 16h Going to create a site where the public can rate the core truth of any article & track the credibility score over time of each journalist, editor & publication. Thinking of calling it Pravda … Elon Musk ✔ @elonmusk Create a media credibility...
  • Every Day is “Opposite Day” in the Fake U.S. News Media

    05/23/2018 2:31:11 PM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 12 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    The Evening Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) If you’re shocked at the utterly dishonest manner in which the entirety of the fake mainstream media is covering Spygate (thanks to President Trump for coining that shorthand term today), well, you need to pay closer attention to the Campaign Update and less attention to CNN. Here’s the short message about this 100% “Opposite Day” coverage: Get used to it, because it’s going to continue. At this point in the saga, fake media outlets who have served as nothing but leak receptacles for the Deep State Cabal within the FBI/DOJ for...
  • When Harry (Deep State) Met Sally (Fourth Estate)

    05/23/2018 6:03:27 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 5-23-18 | MOTUS
    What happens when a country’s super-secret spy agencies are filled with liars, dirty tricksters and #Resisters?  They will trip over their own stories, lose key “conversations,” misplace or otherwise refuse to divulge important documents.Ultimately they will reveal themselves for the nefarious, lying weasels they are. The only question is will the MSM report it?Not if they have anything to say about it. As inconvenient facts gurgle to the surface… the MSM is busily ignoring them as they calculate how best to shift the narrative from “collusion” to “coverup” in delirious hope that somebody embedded in the Deep State’s war on...
  • The Democrat Party is Collapsing in on Itself

    05/23/2018 5:00:35 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 25 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – Investors Business Daily reports that the median U.S. household income has now hit an all-time high of more than $61,000, and that President Donald Trump (I still never tire of typing those three words) is getting credit for it from the public. Cool. It’s where all the Clinton-era bodies are buried. – A big sinkhole has opened up on the White House grounds. Life comes at you fast, Democrats. – In a Campaign Update barely 10 days ago I told you we would start seeing...
  • We Are Just at the Tip of the Deep State Iceberg

    05/22/2018 5:46:08 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 11 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – The deep state Obama flunkies were in full-on panic on Monday, as the details of their conspiracy to fix the 2016 election and then bring down a duly-elected POTUS continue to come to light. Obama CIA Director John Brennan, ex-Deputy Attorney General Sally Yates and ex-Attorney General Eric Holder all took to their Twitter accounts or favored media support outlets to threaten various Republicans and say stuff that just isn’t true. Fresh off of probably perjuring himself again before another congressional committee on Friday, Brennan...
  • Passenger Farted So Bad During Flight, That It Caused An Emergency Landing

    05/22/2018 5:40:11 AM PDT · by Duke C. · 40 replies
    YouCantBreakMe ^ | 5/21/18 | James Merritt
    what was supposed to be a normal flight to the Netherlands turned out to be something else. You see, this plane left Dubai for Amsterdam Schiphol but had to veer off to Vienna when a case of persistent farting ended up in a fistfight. Now, this whole problem started when an elderly man started farting. But despite the disapproval from 2 other guys sat beside him, he continued.[snip]But unfortunately, nothing was done to stop the farting. They were sentenced to taking this unhealthy a** gas throughout the duration of the flight.
  • I’m So Old I Remember When the University of Michigan Was a Great School

    05/22/2018 4:53:38 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 22 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 5-22-18 | MOTUS
    I’m so old I remember when the University of Michigan was renowned for it’s STEM programs. Clearly this is not your patriarch’s university anymore. Even if that wasn’t a sexist comment.Summary: Everything wrong with higher education in 2 tweets - or as the Instapundit might say - SHOT:CHASER:As my contribution to the ever escalating price of college credentials I am offering this complimentary course in Gender Studies from the University of Michigan for FREE! I can’t guarantee you a $100k job at the university of your choice but I will guarantee you a better education than you will get for...
  • YES,my dog bit 24 people......

    05/21/2018 12:31:38 PM PDT · by Oldpuppymax · 17 replies
    The Coach's Team ^ | 5/21/18 | Unk
    Hat Tip: Kevin Collins IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT THE DOG, I am SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM. YES, HE BIT: 6 PEOPLE WEARING OBAMA T-SHIRTS... 4 PEOPLE WEARING HILLARY T-SHIRTS... 4 PEOPLE WEARING HILLARY T-SHIRTS... 2 CAR DRIVERS WITH BERNIE SANDERS BUMPER STICKERS... 9 TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR BUTT CRACKS... 2 FLAG BURNERS... AND ......... A KNEELING FOOTBALL PLAYER. BUT FOR THE LAST TIME... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE! AND NO, I DO NOT APPROVE OF HIS SMOKING, BUT HE SAYS IT HELPS GET THE “BAD TASTE” OUT Of HIS...
  • Seattle Levies Head Tax on Jobs [semi-satire]

    05/21/2018 10:13:36 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 May 2018 | John Semmens
    In a bid to discourage what it alleges is "wage slavery," the Seattle City Council voted to levy an annual tax of $275 on each person employed in the City by companies grossing $20 million or more. The originally proposed tax rate of $500 was reduced after Mayor Jenny Durkan threatened a veto. Council member Kshama Sawant says he is disappointed the tax isn't higher. "Man's preferred state is leisure," he said. "Forcing people to give up their leisure in order to obtain the means needed to survive is a crime against humanity. The $500 levy was an opening bid...
  • Nevertheless, He Persisted

    05/21/2018 5:24:18 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 5-21-18 | MOTUS
    The FBI and CIA thumbed the eye of an armed nuclear state based on false intelligence.  Why?  The answer is now obvious: to cover up their own election year shenanigans they thought would remain forever hidden in the inevitable Hillary Clinton victory.It was the ultimate campaign dirty trick: a joint operation by the intelligence agencies and the media against a political candidate.  - How the FBI and CIA Restarted the Cold War to Protect Themselves Now, two years into the ginned-up investigation of Russiagate, there has been “not one smidgeon of corruption” to be found. In fact, not a...
  • Monday Will be a Very Bad Day for the Deep State Cabal

    05/21/2018 5:10:37 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 21 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) The liberal education bubble in action! – The Pantsuit Princess was given an award by Harvard University on Sunday for her “transformative impact on society.” Wait, wait, wait – before you guffaw, or vomit at the absurdity of this, think it fully through. The Coughing Crook has indeed had “transformative impacts” on our society. Here are a few examples: She “transformed” the U.S. State Department into a classic mob influence racket; She “transformed” 20 percent of U.S. uranium supplies into Russian hands; She and her husband “transformed” a charitable foundation into another...
  • Campaign Slogan May Not Be a Winner [semi-satire]

    05/20/2018 12:03:22 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 May 2018 | John Semmens
    Democrat Abdul al-Sayed, Michigan’s first-ever Muslim candidate for governor, may face an uphill struggle in in this year’s election. Political analysts suspect that his campaign slogan: “You may not hate Muslims, but Muslims definitely hate you!” may be too negative to win a majority of votes. “Granted, Michigan has the highest percentage of Muslim voters in the country,” said Democratic Party pollster Vern Spielman, “but even if they go 100% for Sayed I don’t think that overcomes the odds that the 97% of voters who are not Muslims will vote for someone less hostile toward them.” Sayed called objections to...
  • The Science Is Settled: Journalists ARE Stupider Than U and Me

    05/20/2018 6:20:07 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 18 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 5-20-18 | MOTUS
    It’s Sunday so I offer a prayer for journalists: If you’re unfamiliar with the Dunning-Kruger Effect it states that some people are not only incompetent but their incompetence robs them of the mental ability to realize just how inept they are. Or put another way, they know not what they know not…Physics? I don’t need no stinkin’ physics!…and proceed accordingly.That seems to explain the vast majority of the journalist class. And perhaps this explains why: Journalists drink too much, are bad at managing emotions, and operate at a lower level than average, according to a new study. Excerpts: Journalists’ brains...
  • The Deep State Cabal Moves Into Justification Phase With American Pravda’s Help

    05/20/2018 5:35:50 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 8 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    Today’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) Tired of all this Winning yet? – Gosh, I’m old enough to remember like, a couple of weeks ago, when everyone at CNN was sagely ensuring us that President Donald Trump’s crazy policies would lead to a massive trade war with China. Then yesterday, this happened: CNN Breaking News ✔ @cnnbrk China will "significantly increase" purchases of US goods and services, according to a joint statement from both countries https://cnn.it/2kavMLq 1:56 PM - May 19, 2018 1,198 Oooops. The Cabal and American Pravda move into justification phase. – The Sunday morning talk...
  • WHO IS THE TRUMP SPY!

    05/19/2018 5:53:26 PM PDT · by BEJ · 45 replies
    Vanity | 19/05/2018 | BEJ
    Now I heard this from my mom who heard it from her tea group that the American beauty who is marrying a Royal was coaxed by friend in Hollywood (possibly George Clooney) to talk the British representative in Australia to ask the Australian ambassador to ply the American Trump team adviser with liquor so that he blabs and then they could set up charges on Trump… however, the spy everyone is talking about according to my mom’s tea group worked in England as a foot guard for the Royals and then got commissioned, after a dreadful falling out with Tony...
  • Operation Crossfire Hurricane Exposed [semi-satire]

    05/19/2018 10:42:30 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 May 2018 | John Semmens
    The Obama Administration’s Director of National Intelligence James Clapper called the CIA’s and FBI’s covert and illegal spying on the Trump campaign and administration “fully justified. With a threat as palpable as that posed by Trump we wouldn’t want the agencies set up to protect this country to idly sit by just because they don’t have enough evidence to persuade a judge to issue a warrant. Besides, too many individuals would be involved in the process of trying to obtain a warrant that we couldn’t guarantee the type of air-tight security necessary to achieve the best possible results. Leaks could’ve...
  • Let’s Get This Party Started!

    05/19/2018 6:43:25 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 16 replies
    MOTUS A.D. ^ | 5-19-18 | MOTUS
    To be clear, I have zero interest in the Markle Sparkle. But a combination of creaky bones and allergies that have packed my sinus cavities with concrete got me up extra-early so I switched on the TV and between a choice of mass school shooting coverage and wringing of hands and a royal wedding I’ll take the royals. A royal wedding outside of Hollywood is a strange affair in the 21st century. Sort of an anachronism within an anachronism.  My only comment is that there hasn’t been so many people of colour at a British royal wedding since, well, ever....
  • In the Wake of Santa Fe, Maybe President Trump Should Take Andrew Cuomo’s Advice

    05/19/2018 5:43:51 AM PDT · by EyesOfTX · 12 replies
    DB Daily Update ^ | David Blackmon
    TodayÂ’s Campaign Update (Because The Campaign Never Ends) ThereÂ’s this big wedding going on over in England as I write this, and for the life of me I canÂ’t figure out why any American gives a damn. IÂ’m just irritated because I wonÂ’t be getting my morning dose of news. In the real world, there was another tragic school shooting on Friday, this time in Santa Fe, Texas, and all I can wonder is how long it will take before we find out that the Barney Fifes at the FBI had the killer under surveillance but did nothing to stop...
  • Dems Defend MS-13 Against Trump Slander [semi-satire]

    05/19/2018 1:50:42 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 20 May 2018 | John Semmens
    This week President Trump again described members of the heinous immigrant gang MS-13 as "animals." His remarks came in response to a complaint that California law forbids local law enforcement officers from notifying ICE that MS-13 gang members are in custody in county jails—resulting in their release back into the community instead of their deportation. Two high-ranking Democrats assailed Trump's remarks. Senate Minority Leader Charles Schumer characterized the President's words as "a slander against the kind of people who make our country great. Let's not forget that we are a nation of immigrants. If it weren't for the daring and...