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Hollywood, CA—Hollywood, endorsed by Rolling Stone Magazine, has put out a new Muslim-based product that is facing some resistance. The product—Rock Me Sexy Allah T-Shirts—were created in response to the new “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” gear that has become the rage in America. The “Rock Me Sexy Jesus” gear, a line of products from the release of the film, Hamlet 2, has become loved across the nation, even showing up as ring tones for phones. The ring tone mirrors the musical hit, “Rock Me Sexy Jesus,” the driving force behind the product line.

Ever since the National Enquirer reported on John Edwards' allegedly visiting a hotel to see his mistress and "love child," it's been inevitable: The John Edwards/Rielle Hunter jokes are starting to flow, and Jim Treacher has just a few. As it's difficult for me to avoid jumping on a trend bandwagon, I took the liberty of writing a couple of my own: --“Why did doctors at the hospital where the baby was delivered first suspect that John Edwards was the child's father? Whenever an ambulance pulled up to the emergency room, the baby got an erection." --“What was the biggest...

Congress refuses to pay heed to the requests of its constituents...but it may not be our fault! Maybe WE'RE just speaking the wrong language? Note: The author of "Geeks On Caffeine" requests that you visit his web site and refrain from pasting the cartoon in this thread. Thanks much!

Torn from the pages of "The Ladies' Hmmm Journal" - a hard-hitting photo essay !!

Barack Obama's speech at the Victory Column in Berlin has caused a collective Obasmic thrill to go up the legs of the KOmmies. As you will see they are now acting like a bunch of enthralled schoolgirls...or like Chris Matthews on Hardball. Although the Germans, who can't vote in our elections, were enthralled by Obama's appearance, the big news for Americans is that Obama thought it was "inappropriate" for him to visit with wounded American military personnel in Germany. That is what will be remembered here. However, the KOmmie THREAD titled, "USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!...

For a little humorous break from the world of hard news, we have the embarrassing story of the Valley News that serves Vermont and New Hampshire misspelling its own name on the front page of the July 21 issue. The big oopsie was followed on July 22 with an egg-on-the-face, editor's note apologizing to the readers for this ridiculous mistake. Editor's Note - Readers may have noticed that the Valley News misspelled its own name on yesterday's front page. Given that we routinely call on other institutions to hold them accountable for their mistakes, let us say for the record:...

Master Orator Steps All Over His Poncho

With the press dubbing Senator Obama's trip as a "Tour of Duty" I was inspired to cobble together this png file for a 3x10 bumper sticker (blanks can be obtained at Office Depot, I believe). It's resolution is 150 ppi. The phone nunber in the disclaimer is really "so sue me". http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/4247/tourofdoodyqy5.png Also, here is an older, smaller png that is only 75x300 and is good for web use: http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/4247/tourofdoodyqy5.png

Picture the scene from the DUkes of Hazzard. Same theme music. Only instead of the sheriff chasing the Dukes' Dodge Charger, it is reporters from the National Enquirer chasing John Edwards all around the basement of the Beverly Hilton with the chase ending up in a restroom where the Breck Girl remained trapped for 15 minutes until rescued by hotel security. In case you haven't heard about this Edwards scandal, here is an excerpt from the National Enquirer STORY: Edwards went out of the hotel briefly with Rielle, they were observed by the NATIONAL ENQUIRER and then went back...

What is Maxine Waters up to? Trying to seize control of private industry, that's what! But what industry is she going after? You won't believe it if I told you! Read this new "Geeks On Caffeine" cartoon! NOTE: The author has requested that you visit his website and refrain from pasting the cartoon within the thread.

So there I was, watching Modern Marvels on the History Channel, and I saw one of their factoid splash screens that announced that home brewing was legalized by Bro. Jimmuh on October 14, 1978. Naturally, I almost lost an entire Weizen through my nose upon hearing this auspicious news. (No, I was able to control myself, so there was no abuse of good Schneider Weisse) I thought to myself, this CANNOT be! Removing government control on some aspect of life? Carter? Nah, could never happen! Rather than take the word of the MSM, I got on the 'puter and took...

A number of polls in diverse locations indicate that mental illness may be far more pervasive than most experts have thought. A poll conducted by Time magazine and the Rockefeller Foundation claims to have found that 88 percent of people support bigger government. “People are scared,” said Time magazine Managing Editor Richard Stengel. “Personal responsibility is too big of a burden for the average guy. He needs the comfort of a ‘big brother’ who’ll be there to tuck him in at night, so to speak.” “It’s the government’s job to take care of the people,” declared poll respondent, Melissa Pewler....

The Mexican government announced that it will honor U.S. Senator Ted Kennedy by granting him citizenship in what President Felipe Calderón called “the emerging ‘Greater Mexico.’” “Señor Kennedy’s staunch defense of the rights of so-called illegal immigrants has been a cornerstone of the effort to unite the Norte Americano continent into one political entity,” Calderón proclaimed. “As a ‘founding father’ of ‘Greater Mexico,’ he deserves to be awarded citizenship.” Calderón contrasted what he contended was Mexico’s “spirit of generosity” in awarding Kennedy citizenship with U.S. plans to build a barrier on the border. “Thanks to the work of Señor Kennedy,...

Maxine Waters, the dumbest little commie in congress, wants to take over! No lie! Check out the latest "Geeks On Caffeine" cartoon and see what's on her hit list! Note: The author of this cartoon requests that you visit the web site and refrain from pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks a bunch!

St. Louis—In what could be the biggest disaster since Hurricane Katrina, Budweiser—after being sold to Belgian based InBev—has immediately plans to change the formulation for their beer. The change comes to reflect a European style of beer, giving it a more “fruitier and nuttier taste,” a veritable Bud “spritzer.” The beer, known to the common working class man, will now appeal to the most erudite of Americans. The “King Of Beers” will indeed have a flavor made for a king, flushing years of perfection down the toilet.

Okay, John McCain has the image of an old fogey. However, his people have just produced the best (and FUnniest) campaign VIDEO ever! Check it out. This video is also extremely entertaining. Hint: Chris Matthews plays a big part in this video.

A weekly SATIRICAL feature from your friends at Not WRIGHT for America Not WRIGHT for America has learned that Barack Obama will make the bold and surprising move of calling for a Bill of Rights. Senator Obama will use the occasion of his meeting with Palestinian leaders to unveil his new plan. Readers may recall that Not WRIGHT for America noted Obama's support for special new rights for terrorists in early July. Not WRIGHT for America was able to obtain an advance copy of Obama's remarks, including the candidate's own notes, which he plans to make Wednesday in the West...

The following "joke" is meant for circulation. Its real purpose is to demonstrate that Barack Obama lacks character along with the courage to act on the values that most of us take for granted (not empowering and enabling racists and anti-Semites, not condoning insults to our Armed Forces). It brings in Michelle Obama deliberately, noting that she has already done and said things that could undermine his campaign. Jesse Jackson Can't Castrate Barack Obama The fact that most of what Obama SAYS is bull does not make him one.Barack Obama lacked the cojones to reject the endorsement of Louis Farrakhan...

In a bid to “kill two birds with one stone,” Democrats in congress have introduced the Transportation and Housing Options for Gas Price Relief Act of 2008. This bill calls for the federal government to issue every American a “good pair of walking shoes” and mandates that “large appliance boxes be set aside as temporary housing for those who lose their homes due to mortgage defaults.” “The beauty of this plan is that the housing will be portable,” said an enthusiastic Representative Earl Blumenauer (D-Ore). “People will be able to live closer to jobs they can walk to. We will...

Look for hordes of DUmmies to be smashing pizza cartons against their heads this November if their beloved Obama loses. An election loss this year will affect them much more than a mere mental meltdown. In 2004 we were greatly entertained when the DUmmies in the midst of their Kerry loss meltdown did a virtual "stand up" and revealed their real names like a bunch of Drama Queens. However, this year the DUmmies have threatened violence as you can see in this THREAD titled, "Why aren’t we in the streets?" Yeah, yeah, they put up a good TALK about...

Contact Recent forays into Ramesh Ponnoru’s “Right Matters” forum over at the Washington Post online reveals the need for an update to Godwin’s Law. (You know—whoever brings up Nazism first loses the argument.) A prototypically knee-jerk liberal over there (“All conservatives are racist, sexist, bigot homophobes…) asserts that labeling Obama a socialist immediately sucks all credibility out of one’s argument. Fine. I’ll grant that Obama may or may not be a socialist—it is a broad-brush term to describe his policies—and that one needs to be more precise in how one portrays the change he apparently believes in. (And I call...

On this morning's "Morning Joe" on MSNBC, co-host Tiki Barber asked guest Dan Rather about his feelings regarding the recent Jesse Jackson imbroglio -- his "off mike" comments about Barack Obama. In the middle of praising Jackson, Rather referred to Barack Obama as "Osama bin Laden" -- and none of the four "Morning Joe" co-hosts reacted (nor did Rather). Question: Will the media pick this up? That one of America's longest-serving network news anchors referred to one of the two presidential candidates as the world's most wanted terrorist -- and no one in the room seemed to notice? While you...

I rarely divulge details of my personal life on Zooillogix because, frankly, I am quite a catch and I didn't want female readers leaving their husbands. On July 12th however, I (Andrew - the older and wiser one who still has both hands) got married. I tell you this because something horrible happened shortly before the wedding that directly informs this story: my then fiancee forced me to get a pedicure. For years she has begged me to clickity-clack the raptor claws I call toes down to "Nail Bar" but I staunchly refused, as any self-respecting pretend-zoologist must. She was...

Former Vice President Al Gore (D) offered the opinion that global warming, not terrorism, is the biggest threat to America. The former VP said that it is imperative that the nation go “green” before it is too late. “Terrorists may kill thousands,” Gore said. “Warming will kill billions and destroy civilization. If the government doesn’t take immediate action, the survival of the United States as we know it is at risk.” Step one of Gore’s proposed plan of action calls for the federal government to establish a “carbon-offsets” reserve. The reserve, modeled on the “Strategic Petroleum Reserve,” would have the...

Congress is often criticized for being ignorant on many issues. This "Geeks On Caffeine" cartoon provides proof positive that the fine members of congress are NOT ignorant, but they are...well, see for yourself! NOTE: The author of this comic requests that you visit his web site and refrain from copying the cartoon within this thread.

Two years ago we here at DUmmie FUnnies documented the first annual KOmmie KOnvention (held in Las Vegas), "YearlyKos"--AKA "Blogolapalooza," because politicans like Mark Warner wined and dined the prog bloggers with chocolate fountains and ice sculptures at a Stratosphere party, in order to gain their support. Well, this year we travel to Austin, Texas, for the YearlyKos, now called, "Netroots Nation." There are MULTITUDINOUS THREADS on this in KOmmieland--you can go there and use the tag, "netroots nation 2008" to find them all. There's even a separate Netroots Nation website, with agenda, speakers, registration info, etc. There are...

The Grinch nixes another holiday. What's next? Roast beast tax?Everyone down in Whoville liked tax holidays A LOT. But, the Grinch, who lived north of D.C., the Grinch he DID NOT! The Grinch hated tax breaks. Don't ask the reason. It took money from the quote-unquote "poor"... and cut cash for his sleazing. So the Grinch growled, his fingers nervously drumming. I must. I must keep this gas tax holiday from coming. Then a thought dawned and turned into a smile. The grin the Grinch shows when he's about to defile. I'll take this tax break and turn it inside...

Democratic presidential hopeful, Senator Barack Obama (D-Ill.), took his campaign east over the weekend. The three major television networks (ABC, CBS and NBC) accompanied him to “document this historic occasion.” Obama characterized the move as a bid “to reach out to all of the 57 states and bring them the same message of hope and redemption that I have shared with the three dozen or so states within the continental United States.” “This is definitely thinking ‘outside-the-box,’” gushed ABC News anchor Charles Gibson. “Lesser men may be content to be president of America. Senator Obama has a real chance to...

It’s not so much that Barack Obama is so perfect a being that he lacks the sorts of foibles comedians seize upon to mock mercilessly, it’s more that jokemeisters don’t want to navigate a minefield of hypersensitivity that could destroy their careers. The fact that Obama has proven as prickly and prissy as any other earnest do-gooder liberal - columnist Kathleen Parker calls him a “purse-lipped church lady, clucking his tongue in disapproval of the chuckling masses” - makes it all the harder to tweak him without the joke blowing up in your face. That said, Los Angeles Times columnist...

Denver—With the Democratic National Convention approaching, it appears that Denver will stop at nothing to get the homeless off the streets during the convention. The actions have created a swarm of homeless to descend upon the city. Some of the ideas being floated by Denver city officials include sending the homeless to the movies, to the zoo, and even sequestering them in local homeless shelters.

Obama "[T]he objective of this trip was to have substantive discussions with people like President Karzai or Prime Minister Maliki or President Sarkozy or others who I expect to be dealing with over the next eight to 10 years. Hope we have time to get the 22nd Amendment get amended. Unless, of course, he can get elected and pack the Supreme Court with lefties, in which case they can read the byzantineley worded Amendment, No person shall be elected to the office of the President more than twice. to say that twice is actually a term of art meaning "thrice."

KABUL (Reuters) - Presidential candidate Barack Obama called the situation in Afghanistan "precarious and urgent" on Sunday after meeting with Afghan President Hamid Karzai during an overseas trip meant to burnish his foreign policy credentials.

Whoa! "Geeks On Caffeine" has gone over the top today! GOC takes on both Whoopi Goldberg and her recent comment that the "n-word" is both a "term of affection" and "a black word only!" Here's to hoping that the moderators will allow this cartoon to remain posted, because the message is great! A must read for today! NOTE: The author of the comic has requested that you visit his web site and refrain from pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks!

Barack Obama (B.O.) without a teleprompter makes Elmer Fudd sound like the late Winston Churchill. His wife was never proud of America before the year 2008. If his former Pastor donned a sheet, he could give a good impression of the Grand Cyclops of the Ku Klux Klan. He hangs out with people who attempted to blow up the Pentagon. One of his favorite orators is the "Reverend" Louis Farrakhan. He thinks there are 57 states in America...

Earlier rumors Our Designee, Barack Obama, had flown in to Afghanistan on a magic carpet proved to be a bit over-optimistic;but many are sticking with their report of an Angelic Choir's presence.

The horrifying images are in. The killer shark that has been terrorizing aquatic adventurers on Long Island has been vanquished. A team of marine rescue specialists, dispatched by Governor David Patterson who declared a state of emergency from Montauk to Lake Champlain, descended upon Zach's Bay and captured the man eater before disaster ensued. EMS technicians arrived at the scene to treat panic-stricken bathers. Women screamed, children fainted, grown men cried in anguish at the sight of the monster. Maria, a 37 year old mother from Flushing, was treated for "The Vapors" and expressed the horror experienced by everyone who...

With all the publicity about the leftwing outrage over the Obama New Yorker cover, I thought I would take you back to a time when politicians actually enjoyed being comedically roasted. Specifically the roast of Ronald Reagan by Don Rickles as you can see in this VIDEO of a Dean Martin Roast of the Gipper back around 1970. And no one enjoyed the roast more than Reagan. Take a good look at Reagan's reactions to Rickles humorous jabs. The ability to laugh at oneself is a true sign of character. Take note, Barack.

Uncle Abdul and the Little Sheik - July 18th 2008 broadcast from the Old Glory Radio Hour. Special guest “Six Gun Sally”, country singing star. DEBUT

Andy says Obama is "no Jack Kennedy" HOW OBAMA BOTCHED THE "NEW YORKER COVER" ISSUE ANDY MARTIN Executive Editor ContrarianCommentary.com 'Factually Correct, Not Politically Correct' AMERICA'S #1 POLITICAL BLOG ON THE 2008 CAMPAIGN How Obama fumbled the New Yorker cover story "Senator Obama, I knew Jack Kennedy, and you're no Jack Kennedy" (NEW YORK)(July 17, 2008) One of the great lines in American political history is Senator Lloyd's Bentsen's 1988 retort to Senator Dan Quayle, "Senator, I knew Jack Kennedy, and you're no Jack Kenney." Senator Barack Obama daydreams that he's the "new Kennedy." In your dreams. The remnants of...

MAY I HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION, PLEASE!!! In the absence of good material, I have opted to spend a few moments in unbridled rant… 1. Are you people really happy with the extreme lack of sincerity when it comes to political candidates? 2. Don’t tell me what “flavor” you are! I could care less if Republicrat or Demican or Greendipendent. 3. If there are no just plain-ol’ “Americans” left let’s just close the dang door and call it what it is… OVER! Today’s politicians stand there with their smug attitudes and silly self-righteous smirks on their faces and pontificate from...

I was completely flummoxed this morning when Henry started growling and snarling for a prolonged period. I was checking my email, so I wasn’t paying any attention to the world around me. Henry is not a snarler, but there he was: teeth bared, lips drawn back, ears flat, head low to the ground. Very impressive, except that he was backing up and away from…the three cats. I’ve never seen anything like it. Horus was confronting him directly—his tail was as big around as my forearm—and he was advancing! Tiger had the left flank, and Jetta the right. Henry finally hid...

SAN FRANCISCO (Reuters) - San Francisco voters, never thrilled with George W. Bush, may give the president a parting shot in November by naming a sewage plant after him. A ballot measure aimed at deriding the Republican president by renaming the city's newest sewage plant qualified on Thursday after organizers submitted 7,168 signatures to the local Department of Elections, officials said.

The MSM brain freeze caused by that infamous New Yorker cover cartoon has finally thawed and the humorless prigs who are in the tank for Barack Obama realized that it doesn’t look good when journalists denounce other journalists for exercising their free speech rights. The Obama campaign also belatedly realized its reaction to the broad satire was “really dumb damage control,” writes Andrew Malcolm of the Los Angeles Times: It was a huge PR mistake by a campaign that doesn't make many. The denunciations by both presidential campaigns accomplished one thing: They pushed a simple cartoon to the top of...

Poll: Congress got mad hate for ya votahs.Americans have one more thing to whine about. According to a recent Zigby poll, members of Congress have never had a lower opinion of the American people. The poll indicates that for the first time congressional opinion on the people they serve has fallen to single digits. A total of eight percent of Congress members say they have a "good opinion" of the American people. Only six percent of the members surveyed said they had a "great opinion" of their constituents. "This is historic," said Raymond Zigby, who runs Zigby polls and still...

My advice to DUmmies upset over any position that Barack Obama takes is to wait a minute and he is almost sure to completely change that position. Most politicians do shift positions when it is convenient but none in my memory has ever shifted position so boldly and so quickly as Obama has for strictly pandering electoral reasons. Obama will say anything that he thinks will get him votes and then ditch that position when it becomes convenient to do so. Gun control, FISA, public campaign financing, Iraq (still flipping and flopping on that one), and a whole host...

When you're the subject of congressional questioning, no matter how much you may protest about it being a witch hunt, they'll insist it's not! Check out the latest "Geeks On Caffeine" cartoon and see just what huge liars these congressional reps are when faced with this "witch hunt" accusation! NOTE: The author has requested that you visit his web site and refrain from copying and pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks!

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,364281,00.html From FOX News: “LUCKNOW, India — He's a revered Hindu monkey god. And now, he's the chairman of an Indian business school. Hanuman, the popular god known for his strength and valor, has been named official chairman of the recently opened Sardar Bhagat Singh College of Technology and Management in northern India, a school official said Saturday. The position comes with an incense-filled office, a desk and a laptop computer. Four chairs will be placed facing the empty seat reserved for the chairman and all visitors must enter the office barefoot, said Vivek Kangdi, the school's vice chairman. "It...

Remember the oil hearings and the memorable quotes of the Democrat "inquisitors?" Check out this web cartoon that uses actual quotes of congressional representatives in hearings on the high price of coffee. Today's victim: Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, Democrat from Florida! NOTE: The author of this comic has requested that you visit the web site and refrain from pasting the cartoon within the thread. Thanks!

California’s Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger (R) called drilling for more oil “too simple a solution.” “If we make fuel cheaper again, people won’t have to give up their bad habits,” Schwarzenegger claimed. “Besides, many important people own beach-front property in California. Even the slightest threat to the value of these properties would be intolerable. This is especially so if the reason is to postpone a much needed change in the way ordinary people live and travel.” The Governor proposed, instead, that California voters approve a $10 billion bond as a “down payment” on a $40 billion plan to construct high-speed passenger...

As we documented here last Friday, the DUmmie brain trust has decided to re-activate the defunct DUmmie Activist Corps. DUAC is back! Of course, EarlG's announcement of the return of DUAC, on two threads, garnered a whopping total of 29 replies. Now you see why DUAC went defunct in the first place. Nevertheless, they solicited suggestions and came up with their first DUACtion. And it's one which fits the energy and commitment level of the DUmmies. What is it? (Cue Monty Python. . . .) SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM! SPAM, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM! Yes, members of the DUmmie Slacktivist...