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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Shutdown Day 16: Veterans, Optics and Barrycades

    10/16/2013 9:41:34 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-16-2013 | MOTUS
    Yesterday we briefly interrupted our battle with the Tea Party Anarchists to  present the Medal of Honor to retired Army Captain William Swenson. The long overdue medal was awarded to former Captain Swenson for repeatedly risking his life in Afghanistan's Battle of Ganjgal to rescue his fallen comrades. It only appears that Lady M is floating in space For the occasion, Lady M selected one of her recycled frocks, this one a little Rachael Roy number from way back in 2009; as you can see it still fits as well as it did 4 years ago! Even though we’ve, uh,...
  • Hump-Day Humor

    10/16/2013 2:29:29 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 5 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 16 October 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • DUmmie FUnnies 10-14-13 (True Believer KOmmie Burned By ObamaCare)

    10/15/2013 5:59:19 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 44 replies
    DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 14, 2013 | KOmmies and PJ-Comix
    You know ObamaCare is in big trouble when even true believer KOmmies are getting burned by it as you can see in this THREAD, "Just my 2 cents-Health Care Market Place." This is what happens when a community organizer with no real world business experience awards the ObamaCare software contract not to the lowest bidder but to the highest bundler. It's the Chicago Way and the result is that CGI Federal has become the Solyndra of government software contracts. It just doesn't work and won't be working any time soon...if ever. So let us now watch KOmmie appledown lose...
  • ‘Journalist’ Urges Wall Street to Aid President

    10/15/2013 12:05:34 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 10 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    Political Director of ABC News, Rick Klein, pleaded with Wall Street financiers to “manipulate the markets on behalf of President Obama’s efforts to stand against GOP resistance.” “Government spending is what’s been lining their pockets for generations,” Klein observed. “How can they sit by and allow upstarts like Senator Cruz to interfere? They’ve got to use their financial power to provoke a major slide in stock prices. Sure, they might have to take some temporary losses, but they should consider it an investment that will ensure that government cash continues to flow to them in the future.” Klein noted that...
  • Shutdown Day 15: EBT Failure Prompts Walmart Run In This Great Land of Nuts and Barrys

    10/15/2013 8:09:24 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 12 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-15-2013 | MOTUS
    Squirrels are known for two survival skills: hoarding, and stealing other squirrels’ stashes. h/t BFH on iOTH, who suggests we could substitute “ObamaVoters” for “squirrels” Both skills were on display in Louisiana last Saturday night when an EBT system “glitch” temporarily eliminated card limits. Thanks to the fact that the card holders all have Obamaphones, they advised all their social network friends with EBT cards of this manna from heaven. Soon all the squirrels hustled down to their local Walmart where they were seen hoarding everything from, well, soup to nuts: It was like Christmas…only free! Shoppers abandoned carts at Walmart...
  • Currently trending on Twitter: #ObamacareTshirtSlogans

    10/15/2013 7:37:56 AM PDT · by Nachum · 13 replies
    Twitter ^ | 10/15/13 | Tweeters
    Oh those wacky Tweeters are at it again with: #ObamacareTshirtSlogans. Here are some of the offerings this morning... #ObamacareTshirtSlogans I never said you could keep your doctor If You Like My Health Insurance You Can Keep Paying For It For Me Singlepayer Exemptions for the 1% The best reason to buy Identity Fraud Insurance. You didn't infect that. You can keep your Doctor....except he's retired If It's Good Enough For Your Family, It's Good Enough For....nevermind My grandma went up before a death panel and all I got was this stupid t-shirt Until death do you part Good news: Healthcare...
  • ATF Blocks Book Exposing Fast and Furious Gun-Running Scheme

    10/14/2013 12:18:43 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    The Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms is asserting authority to block the publication of whistle blower John Dodson’s book The Unarmed Truth: My Fight to Blow the Whistle and Expose Fast and Furious. The book ban was issued by Deputy Ethics Official Greg Serres on the grounds that supervisors can deny outside employment “for any reason.” Dodson writing a book on his own time is considered “outside employment.” “Dodson is seeking to profit from knowledge he gained while being employed by the ATF,” Serres said. “It is the agency’s contention that all knowledge gained on the job belongs to the agency....
  • Mall Closed to Citizens, Open to Illegal Aliens

    10/14/2013 9:53:36 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    At the same time the National Parks Service has been going the extra mile to prohibit veterans from trespassing on sites in Washington, DC, the Administration issued a permit for an immigration reform rally on the Mall. Presidential Press Secretary Jay Carney justified the disparate treatment as “in accord with the President’s vision for America. As grateful as we may be for the contributions made by World War II veterans, it must be acknowledged that the useful role they played is in the past. They rose to the occasion when they were needed. In no sense of the word are...
  • No-Negotiate-Obama was only Practicing [Spoof]

    10/14/2013 8:27:25 AM PDT · by DanMiller · 1 replies
    Dan Miller's Blog ^ | October 14, 2013 | Dan Miller
    In a Presidential Address delivered today, President Obama calmed Wall Street and the rest of the nation by reversing course. Here is the text of the Presidential Address: My fellow Americans, some of you believe that my "no negotiations" stance toward Republicans was ill considered and that by intentionally causing unnecessary pain for you, my Fellow Americans, I was just being nasty. Now, I can tell you why I had to do it.As some have noticed, I have been a wuss in dealing with our foreign enemies. That was, I thought, the best I was able to do. Recognizing the...
  • Shutdown Day 14: All the Plants are Gonna’ Die!

    10/14/2013 8:16:24 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 6 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-14-2013 | MOTUS
    I interrupt my train of thought regarding things that have fallen down the rabbit hole around Washington to bring you this urgent announcement: It is with a heavy heart that I advise you of a government shutdown that will have a deep and lasting impact on your lives: LADY M’S ORGANIC GARDEN OF GOOD AND EVIL IS WITHERING ON THE VINE!That’s right, thanks to the Tea Party Anarchists (TPA) who’ve closed down the government, Lady M’s entire organic crop has been barrycaded and is being guarded round the clock by the handful of National Park Service employees assigned to...
  • Pelosi Rejects Any Responsibility for Obamacare Disaster

    10/13/2013 10:49:21 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 17 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    October 1st’s disastrous launch of the Affordable Care Act’s automated web site “is not any of my fault,” House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif), architect of the law, insisted. The former Speaker rebuffed questions asking whether she has read the law since its 2010 enactment when she famously asserted that “we have to pass the bill so that you can find out what’s in it.” “If you look carefully at what I said you’ll see that I said we had to pass the law so you can find out what’s in it,” Pelosi pointed out. “This law isn’t for me....
  • Shutdown Day 13: A WTF Theatre Episode, “Shelter in Place”

    10/13/2013 8:23:27 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-13-2013 | MOTUS
    Hard to believe, butt we’re just one day shy of a full 2 week government shutdown. Combined with the problems we’re experiencing (temporarily) with our Obamacare system, things are getting a little tense around here.With so many of our non-essential personnel on furlough, Lady M is growing a little short with those of us still on the job - which is okay, because we’re used to it. Butt now even “no-drama Obama” is beginning to act out a little.“That Boner, I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.”Not only that, butt I’m working here with a handicap because I left...
  • Reaganite's SUNDAY FUNNIES

    10/13/2013 3:41:53 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 2 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 13 October 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More @ Reaganite Republican...
  • "Rev." Al Sharpton Promotes New Book

    10/12/2013 7:39:32 PM PDT · by WXRGina · 14 replies
    Big Hairy News ^ | October 11, 2013 | Scooter Van Neuter
    PHILADELPHIA (BHN) - The "Reverend" Al Sharpton promoted his new book at the Free Library of Philadelphia Thursday, saying it’s about life lessons learned while achieving fame and fortune with nothing more than racism and a megaphone. "One does not need intelligence to obtain a fat bank account," said the faux minister, "White guilt and a willing media is sometimes all it takes."
  • How to Become a Member of the new Nobility*

    10/12/2013 6:02:00 PM PDT · by marktwain · 6 replies
    Gun Watch ^ | 13 October, 2013 | Dean Weingarten
    If you want to become part of the new nobility that is emerging in the American population, the good news is that it is possible.  The bad news is that it is not without cost in time, energy, money and effort. Here are ways to become a member in the new nobility: 1.  Become a police officer.   A street level police officer is at the low end of the noble class spectrum.    The lower end of a noble class always have greater numbers than the highest ends.   Police are treated with deference and have special privileges and immunities that the...
  • Newest Democrat proposal: NO changes to Affordable Care Act, but OKs "modifications" to Obamacare.

    10/12/2013 5:06:59 PM PDT · by ken5050 · 14 replies
    one man's opinion...
    Senate Democrats wrapped up a Saturday afternoon meeting with President Obama, and Harry Reid and Chuck Schumer briefed reporters outside the White House on what they said was a brand new, and very generous offer on their part to break the deadlock...
  • Administration Promises Default If Debt Ceiling Isn’t Raised

    10/12/2013 12:44:46 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 13 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    Treasury Secretary Jack Lew slammed Republican arguments that failure to raise the debt ceiling doesn’t guarantee default as based on “faulty logic.” This is despite the fact that Moody’s, the internationally respected financial rating service, supports the GOP case. “They say that maxing out our borrowing just means that we will have to cut spending somewhere, that we could continue to service our debt while we make cuts elsewhere,” Lew recounted. “What they are forgetting is that the decision on whether to default or cut other spending is in our hands, not theirs.” Calling the failure to raise the debt...
  • Leading Dems Declare Congress “Non-Essential”

    10/12/2013 10:28:53 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 8 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 11 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    Among the “non-essential” government functions shutdown during the last 10 days are the offices of leading members of the US Senate including Majority Leader Harry Reid (D-Nev), Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill), Senators Sherrod Brown (D-Ohio) and Bill Nelson (D-Fla). “When you get right down to it, all the essential functions of government can be carried out by the President,” Reid argued. “The police and armed forces all report to him. If push comes to shove he can simply order them to enforce his will. President Obama has shown a willingness to take on this responsibility. I believe he...
  • Shutdown Day 12: Dog Day Afternoon

    10/12/2013 8:47:24 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-12-2013 | MOTUS
    After much federally funded research, we have a newsflash: dog’s are people too! They experience emotions just like little people do. “The ability to experience positive emotions, like love and attachment, would mean that dogs have a level of sentience comparable to that of a human child.” Happy doggieWow! I’m not sure that grant money was well spent. After all, any one who’s ever had a dog, or even been around a dog, could have told you that.Sad doggieButt the real question - and one that is worthy of federal funding - is whether politicians experience the same level of...
  • There's only one way to make the Halloween movies with Michael Myers even scarier

    10/11/2013 4:01:04 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 5 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 10-11-13 | The Looking Spoon
  • The one thing in government that will never shut down...

    10/11/2013 3:59:11 PM PDT · by The Looking Spoon · 3 replies
    The Looking Spoon ^ | 10-11-13 | The Looking Spoon
  • FORWARD!

    10/11/2013 1:21:17 PM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 1 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 11 October 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More from Reaganite Republican...
  • Shutdown Day 11: Everything is working exactly as planned.

    10/11/2013 9:04:11 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-11-2013 | MOTUS
    It’s important to understand that in Washington D.C. things always go exactly as expected. Except in the case of economic and unemployment data which is mysterious, beyond our control and volatile by nature. Hence, those numbers always come in either “unexpectedly” higher or lower than our forecast. We can always explain why, after the fact, so it’s as if it didn’t really happen. “Going as expected” however, should not be confused with things going “as planned” which implies we designed an actual program with quantatative, verifiable results beyond simply the “transformation of America.” Which we’ve never actually done, so those...
  • WH announces big fix for Obamacare: Responsibility for enrollment being given to US Postal Service

    10/11/2013 6:06:30 AM PDT · by ken5050 · 20 replies
    one man's opinion...
    While not coming out and admitting that there were major problems with the roll-out for the Affordable Care Act, the WH today announced that effective immediately, the USPS would be given the job of enrolling Americans in Obamacare. HHS head Katherine Sibelius appeared at today's WH press conference to praised the administration's desire to make it even easier for Americans to sign up, as well as the creative use of existing government resources to solve it.
  • DUmmie FUnnies 10-10-13 ("Wendy": DUmmies stand with Abortion Barbie)

    10/10/2013 3:31:19 PM PDT · by Charles Henrickson · 30 replies
    DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 10, 2013 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson
    It's a familiar strategy: Ultra-leftist candidate enters race, regardless of whether he or she has any chance of winning. Candidate's extreme left-wing posturing gets DUmmies all aroused. Candidate fleeces DUmmies for lots of money. Candidate loses, but has vastly increased his or her bank account. Lather. Rinse. Repeat. Call it the Alan Grayson Method. The DUmmies' Darling DU Jour is one Wendy Davis, a state senator in Texas who has just thrown her tennis shoes into the ring for governor. Ms. Davis catapulted to fame in June, when she filibustered a bill regulating abortions by standing for eleven hours...
  • Warning: This postage stamp could cause severe injury or death

    10/10/2013 1:54:21 PM PDT · by The Old Hoosier · 11 replies
    Conservative Intel ^ | 10/10/13 | David Freddoso
    These newly created “Just Move” stamps are allegedly all slated for destruction [by USPS] because some of the activities depicted are unsafe......That might pose a problem for this new "running with scissors" stamp....
  • CARTOON: Stokey Says

    10/10/2013 10:18:54 AM PDT · by daletoons · 10 replies
    Out of Order Blog ^ | 10-10-13 | Dale
    A few questions: Is there any doubt that the Federal Government is way too powerful? Is Jimmy Carter the second worst U.S. President? Is the National Park Service only following orders? Does a bear sit in the woods?
  • Shutdown Day 10: A Cinderella Story Leads To A New Way to Conduct Presidential Elections

    10/10/2013 8:20:26 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 1 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-10-2013 | MOTUS
    It looks like I survived the clash of the titans round on iOTW last night, thanks to my posse of MOLs, MODs, MYLs, MYDs, and FOMs!!! And while I’m deeply honored, I’m more than a little surprised as well. I mean, did you SEE the competitors? Ann Barnhart – she’s brilliant and she burns Korans in her spare time; Atlas Shrugs’ Pam Geller – she’s a one woman tour de force seeking to wake America up to the dangers of creeping Sharia, publishing stories that nobody in the MSM finds newsworthy; American Thinker home of our own Clarice – enough...
  • Japan's 1st Lady 'Abused for Promoting Korea'

    10/09/2013 11:29:48 PM PDT · by TexGrill
    Chosun Ilbo ^ | 10/10/2013 | Chosun Ilbo
    Japan's first lady Akie Abe was distressed by online attacks from Japanese people because of her interest in Korean culture, she told a Korean lawmaker. Abe attended a Korea-Japan festival at Hibiya Park in Tokyo last month and told Saenuri Party lawmaker Kim Tae-hwan that she was upset by online comments targeting her whenever she attends a Korea-related event. Kim quoted her as saying Japanese people did not seem to understand her "true intentions." Her eyes apparently welled up with tears as she spoke. Media reports noted her distress but did not explain what upset her. Akie Abe is known...
  • I’m probably going to get yelled at for this.

    10/09/2013 4:03:48 PM PDT · by null and void · 59 replies
    The Bloggess ^ | 10/9/13 | Jenny Lawson
    <p>Her: Don’t forget to wear orange today for anti-bullying unity day.</p> <p>Her: You should still wear orange. For the principle.</p> <p>The Bloggess me: So, I’m going to get bullied on anti-bullying day by people who are actively fighting against bullying?</p>
  • How we Europeans differ from Americans

    10/09/2013 12:54:22 PM PDT · by WesternCulture · 25 replies
    2013/09/10 | WesternCulture
    We Europeans secretly admire the US. Sometimes, we fail to understand America though and on such occasions it feels good to label Americans as "ignorant", "materialistic", "uncivilized" etc. Never mind. Let's continue to run the World together, but contribute to it in different manners. Below, some few clips illustrating what we Europeans do better than any other part of Humanity.
  • Shutown Day 9: Stamps, Tramps, Vamps and Scamps. In no particular order.

    10/09/2013 8:32:51 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 5 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-9-2013 | MOTUS
    This public service announcement has been brought to you by a h/t from golfmom3: “With the Just Move! stamp issuance the U.S. Postal Service hoped to raise awareness about the importance of physical activity in achieving a healthy lifestyle. However, according to Linns Stamp News, the USPS will be destroying the entire press run after receiving concerns from the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition over alleged “unsafe” acts depicted on three of the stamps. I don’t think these stamps are really dangerous to your health. I’m passing this information on for the benefit of the philatelists out there....
  • Hump-Day Humor~

    10/09/2013 3:50:11 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 7 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 09 October 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Kerry Commits Another Gaffe [Satire]

    10/08/2013 4:29:46 PM PDT · by WXRGina · 5 replies
    Big Hairy News ^ | October 8, 2013 | Scooter Van Neuter
    BALI, Indonesia (BHN) - U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry was caught in another embarrassing gaffe Tuesday, as he joined international leaders at an Asian economic summit. Taking the tradition of dressing in Oriental fashion for the summit perhaps a little too far, Kerry appeared squinting his eyes and wearing fake buck teeth and thick glasses. Several Asian leaders were noticeably offended at Kerry's repeatedly saying, "Me no speak Engrish," and "Me ruv you rong time." White House spokesman Jay Carney apologized for Kerry's performance, saying he misunderstood the theme. Since taking the position, Kerry has committed a series of...
  • The Federal Government needs More money to Waste [Snark intended]

    10/08/2013 11:39:28 AM PDT · by DanMiller · 2 replies
    Dan Miller's Blog ^ | October 8, 2013 | Dan Miller
    The Feral Federal Government wastes tons of money. It certainly is grand that we will always have plenty to spare. U.S.S Barack Obama, our newest aircraft carrierHere's a link to an article by Jonathan Turley about recent wastes involving the Pentagon, produced by some pleasing congressional bipartisanship. He notes, [T]he Pentagon continues to spend wildly on items and them toss them out. We recently saw how [it] prefers to deliver bags of money to Karzai, buy Russian aircraft that Afghans can’t fly or maintain, or build huge buildings to be then torn down unused. Of course, no one is ever fired for constructing...
  • Shutdown Day 8: GOP in three easy buttons. Dems in one.

    10/08/2013 8:53:41 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 2 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-8-2013 | MOTUS
    MOTUS gets email: Dear MOTUS, I got this in my email today from one of my Progressive ex-friends and thought I would send it along to you for an in-depth analysis. What do you think? It’s titled “The History of the GOP in Three Easy Buttons.” Thank you, EllaMae Dear EllaMae, Thank you for selecting me to provide your routine Prog analysis needs. I believe this is a recent example of the Proglodytes own history of  selecting and using effective campaign propaganda. It is also a fine example of the application of  Alinsky’s  4th Rule: “make the enemy live up...
  • DUmmie FUnnies 10-07-13 ("This Land's Not Your Land": DUmmies down with Obama's park shutdown)

    10/07/2013 5:09:08 PM PDT · by Charles Henrickson · 40 replies
    DUmmie FUnnies ^ | October 7, 2013 | DUmmies and Charles Henrickson
    "And you shall set limits for the people all around, saying, 'Take care not to go up into the mountain or touch the edge of it. Whoever touches the mountain shall be put to death.'" (Exodus 19:12) Mount Rushmore has become Mount Sinai. Lord Obama has declared it. Even though the partial "government shutdown" affects only a small percentage of federal spending, and the Chief Executive has the discretion to manage and adjust and prioritize accordingly, the Offended One is determined to make the "shutown" as visible and as miserable as possible, so that he can blame the eeevil...
  • Shutdown Day 7: It’s Starting To Heat Up!

    10/07/2013 10:21:56 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 13 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-7-2013 | MOTUS
    Sir Bob Geldof has a message for the youth of the world: We’re all going to die!Some of us may be closer than othersSir Bob, musician-turned-activist, is best known, ironically, for his Live Aid concerts to eliminate African famine. Unlike most people, who embrace nihilism in their youth, he seems to have adopted it in a senior moment. In any event, he was back in South Africa last week to announce to a group of school children that the end of the world is nigh. Apparently all of his efforts and best intentions for saving the world were, well, pointless....
  • "Obama" cannot be deleted

    10/06/2013 9:02:53 PM PDT · by lightman · 16 replies
    Self | 6 October AD 2013 | lightman
    I am an unrepentent Luddite, operating Mac0S9 in a Windows world. On Friday night I suffered the mother of all computer crashes....sent an email and just as it transmitted the background browser/email program crashed and the word processing program froze. Usually a forced reset cures all, but not this time. Nor did a "hard reset" by spiking the power. Each time reboot attempt resulted in a flashing icon indicating an unreadable hard drive. Hours and many dollar later the failing hard drive which had caused the freezes and crashes was replaced, and, most importantly, almost all the data was recovered...
  • Government Shutdown Day 6: Lie, Lies, Lies and Five Guys

    10/06/2013 3:01:12 PM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 14 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-6-2013 | MOTUS
    Day Six and the Obamacare Website - riddled with “glitches,” error messages and random question marks since it went live, is now officially down for “scheduled maintenance.”  I might have scheduled it for a little more convenient time: like maybe before we went live. Finally! A shovel ready project. Fortunately nobody has paid much attention as we’ve shape-shifted everyone’s attention to  THE GREAT AMERICAN ANARCHIST GOVERNMENT SHUT DOWN OF 2013 rather than the failure of the great American socialized medicine system. Can you even imagine the fodder that could be derived from that unfortunate metaphor!? After 3 years in the...
  • TOP 10 OBAMACARE OPTIONS

    10/06/2013 8:43:50 AM PDT · by jackspyder · 13 replies
    examiner.com ^ | Oct. 4, 2013 | Rene Girard
    The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA) officially launched nationwide on Tuesday Oct 1st, 2013. Since Wednesday there have been primarily negative reviews of the new Exchange system due to poor Marketplace performance. [see Forbes article] Unexpected hold times, website crashes and delays, as well as unexpectedly high monthly premiums have prompted public outrage and frustration. Therefore, as a licensed health insurance agent and fellow consumer, I would like to present a helpful list of options to those individuals who are attempting to purchase a new "Obamacare" plan at this time.
  • Reaganite's SUNDAY FUNNIES

    10/06/2013 3:47:21 AM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 2 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 06 October 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    More at Reaganite Republican...
  • Administration Preparing to Ratchet Up the Pain

    10/05/2013 1:23:32 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 20 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    Treasury Secretary Jack Lew says that the barricading of parks and monuments is “merely lesson number one in the effort to educate Americans on how their government works. Not being able to visit a park or monument is an inconvenience. Lesson number two, I assure you, will cut closer to home.” “Lesson number two” will apparently entail the withholding of benefit checks for Social Security recipients, persons on welfare, and veterans pensions. “This more painful lesson can be avoided if Congress cooperates in implementing the President’s program for America,” Lew cautioned. “However, the continued insistence that the President negotiate a...
  • Shutdown Furloughs Indicate that 40% of Federal Workforce Is Non-Essential

    10/05/2013 11:06:14 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 16 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 4 Oct 2013 | John Semmens
    Other than the high-profile barricading of selected tourist destinations there is little sign that the federal government shutdown is sparking the desired degree of panic in the population. Part of the problem may be that the 800,000 furloughed employees (about 40% of the total federal workforce) are non-essential. Naturally, the question in many people’s minds is “why does the government keep so many non-essential employees on the payroll?” President Obama explained the rationale by pointing out that “the federal government is the nation’s largest employer. As such, it is our responsibility to sop up otherwise unemployable persons and give them...
  • Government Shutdown, Day 5: Bring Me Your Sob Story

    10/05/2013 6:56:59 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 4 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-5-2013 | MOTUS
    Day 5 and everything’s closed except the borders. (h/t Jay Leno) This is an important message from your Federal Government: Give me your fired, your poor, Your huddled asses, yearning to live for free. That wretched ruse of the open door    Send these, the homeless, at any cost. I lift a food stamp, and settle and ancient score. (with deepest apologies to Emma Lazarus) Until future notice, Liberty can only be viewed from afar. That’s right, fences went up everywhere last week; Essential employee closing nonessential monuments except along the southern border. And the White House wants to share your...
  • Shutdown turns House GOP into converts on poverty programs (FREEP PLEASE)

    10/04/2013 8:27:32 PM PDT · by no-s · 14 replies
    SFGATE POLITICS BLOG ^ | 2013/10/04 | Carolyn Lochhead
    Some feel Republicans are hypocrites to challenge the Democrats to support their own programs (Carolyn Lochhead) Watch Friday as House Republicans and their Tea Party conservatives declare their support for federal anti-poverty programs, specifically the Women Infants and Children nutrition program known as WIC. Belasauris: "It's almost sad. The lunatics currently running the GOP asylum gleefully announced "We're going to shut down the government!" "
  • The Terrorists vs. the Scare-O-rists: Day 4 Government Shutdown

    10/04/2013 8:29:53 AM PDT · by NOBO2012 · 3 replies
    Michelle Obama's Mirror ^ | 10-4-2013 | MOTUS
    Earlier this week everyone in the MSM was running around saying “Ted Cruz didn’t have an end game!”Guess who else doesn’t have an end game?So, I guess all we can do is hunker down and wait for the Republicans to fold. It’s getting tough around here; turkey chili for lunch…every day! And they’re only emptying our waste paper baskets once a day, which is a problem as we recently jumped on the mini-trashcan bandwagon,butt due to the terrorist government shutdown, have yet to implement our “cut the crap” initiative.Here’s what I can report from the war zone so far:The American...
  • How to Tell If Your Dog is Involved in a Sex Scandal

    10/03/2013 1:49:56 PM PDT · by Reaganite Republican · 19 replies
    Reaganite Republican ^ | 03 October 2013 | Reaganite Republican
    h/t Kirby
  • Obama: Poor people not signing up for coverage because they lack computers and 'net access (satire)

    10/03/2013 1:24:38 PM PDT · by ken5050 · 33 replies
    one man's opinion...
    President Obama a short while ago told reporters that poor people in this country don't have computers, and lack internet access, and that's why so few are signing up for coverage under the Affordable Care Act. In response to a reporter's question about why not one person has yet enrolled in the entire state of California, Obama said that he was determined to do something about the problem, and would ask Congress to pass a bill as soon as the Republicans in the House stopped "farting around and passed a clean CR."
  • Now Trending on Twitter: #ObamacarePhoneNumbers

    10/03/2013 11:55:19 AM PDT · by Nachum · 29 replies
    Twitter ^ | 10/3/13 | Tweets
    Well, you knew it was going to happen. Now Trending on Twitter: #ObamacarePhoneNumbers Some of what is getting posted.. #ObamacarePhoneNumbers 1-800-TYR-ANNY 1-800-DOC-GONE 1-800-DOC-LEFT 1-800-ZOM-BIES 1-800-KOO-LAID 1-800-BOW-2-OBAMA (or else) 1-800-WHY-WORK 1-800-CON-JOBS 1-800-try-L8er, if busy, call 1-800-no-dice 1-800-PLZ-HOLD 1-800-LAW-OLAND 1-888-NOW-ORKY 1-800-PEA-SANT 1-800-UP-YOURs 1 800 BEND OVR 1-800-URA-RCST 1-800-SNG-LPYR 1-800-DEM-CRAP 1-800-ASPIRIN 1-800-NOT-FREE 1-877-DTH-PANL 1 800 4 MORGUE 1-800-BIG-LIES 1-900-EAT- ADOG 1-900-EAT-MUTT 1-800-DIE-QUICK 1 900 DIE FAST 1-800-YOU-DEAD 1 800 SUCK EGG 666 1-900-GOLF-NOW 1-800-CUBA-MEDS 1-800-MAO-LOVR 1800-YOU-LOST 1-800-KING-BARRY 1-800 RFD-CHIP 1-877-DRNK-H20 1-800-GUN-GRAB