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Humor (Bloggers & Personal)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Biden Dismisses Soaring Prices [semi-satire]

    05/11/2024 10:21:16 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 May 2024 | John Semmens
    This week in an interview with CNN's Erin Burnett, President Biden dismissed the 30% rise in food prices since he took office, saying "people can afford it. Thanks to Bidenomics, they have the money to spend. I've personally canceled billions of dollars in student debt. We're putting newly arrived immigrants up in hotels and feeding them. We're subsidizing electric vehicles so drivers don't have to pay high gas prices. Most of us have credit cards, savings, or EBTs. Many of our cities have effectively legalized shoplifting items of less than a thousand dollars. There's no crisis. The Republicans are gas-lighting...
  • VIDEO: Does This Princeton Hunger Striker Look Hungry to You?

    05/11/2024 6:31:33 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 21 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 11, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOBe honest. Does this Princeton hunger striker look like he's been fasting for eight days? I've never seen a hunger striker look so well fed. Obviously this guy has been hiding snacks in his Keffiyeh. Snickers? Cocoa Puffs? Gummi Bears? And now he wants others to join in with his Solidarity Hunger Strike Picnic. Yes, those Keffiyehs make great tablecloths to serve pizza slices on the sly.
  • FBI to Resume Election Censorship Activities [semi-satire]

    05/11/2024 1:15:22 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 4 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 12 May 2024 | John Semmens
    Even though US District Court Judge Terry Doughty found the FBI's efforts to pressure social media companies to censor content the government maintained was disinformation violated the First Amendment and issued an injunction barring federal agencies from continuing the practice, Sen. Mark Warner (D-Va), chair of the Senate Intelligence Committee, says "FBI spokesman William Truncheon informed me that they are gearing up to resume these efforts heading into the 2024 election season. Though Judge Doughty's ruling was upheld by the Fifth Circuit Court of Appeals, the Supreme Court lifted the injunction until it rules on the Murthy v. Missouri case...
  • VIDEO: Robotic Senator Bob Casey Rendered Mute by Gaza Brain Freeze

    05/10/2024 1:41:52 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 7 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 10, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOSenator Robert Casey Jr. who inherited a political career from his father Governor Robert Casey, Sr. has managed to get by for almost 20 years in the U.S. Senate by doing basically nothing but meaningless shuckin' and jivin' which, along with strong support from the Democrats, has managed to keep him in office. However, this year poor Casey is up for re-election and the Gaza issue threatens to divide his Democrat constituency especially since Joe Biden plans to resettle many Gazans in the USA, including Pennsylvania. Unfortunately for the Senate's Robby the Robot, he has not yet been programmed on...
  • VIDEO: Mike Johnson Discovers That He Is Flounder

    05/10/2024 9:44:24 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 34 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 10, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOAll his life Mike Johnson thought he was Mike Johnson. And then on May 8, 2024, in the middle of an interview with Politico, Mike Johnson suddenly discovered that he is really Flounder.
  • VIDEO: 37 Year Old Eurovision Contestant Acts Like Petty Child While Israeli Singer Interviewed

    05/10/2024 6:57:44 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 12 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 10, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOWatch the incredible level of extremely childish pettiness displayed by Greek Eurovision contestant Marina Satti while Israeli contestant Eden Golan was being interviewed. However, don't blame Greece entirely for Satti's behavior. Although her mother is Greek, her father was a Sudanese Arab. It will be interesting to see if Satti will apologize SINCERELY for her horrible behavior or will she continue to act like a pathetic child.
  • VIDEO: Krystal Ball Claims Lawfare Cases Collapsing Due to Trump's Incredible Luck

    05/09/2024 4:20:53 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 23 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 9, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOIt somehow never seemed to occur to Krystal Ball of "Breaking Points" that all the Lawfare cases against President Donald Trump are collapsing for the very simple reason is that he is INNOCENT of all the absurd charges that the politically weaponized DOJ have thrown at him via the federal cases or the state cases which are also controlled by the DOJ minions. Instead Krystal claims the Lawfare cases have collapsed not because they are pathetically weak and absurd but because Donald Trump is the "luckiest man on the planet." Even more startling was the reaction of her co-host, Sagaar...
  • VIDEO: Liberal Tears Over Florida Docs Trial Indefinite Delay

    05/09/2024 8:49:57 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 6 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 9, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOFederal Judge Aileen Cannon in Florida indefinitely DELAYED the Mar-a-Lago documents trial. As expected liberal tears flowed including from the usual suspects such as MSNBC's Glenn Kirschner. Oh, and a word of advice to liberals whining about the delay of that trial, please don't use the STAGED photo by the FBI showing documents strewn all over the floor. Jack Smith already admitted to the evidence tampering that will probably lead to that case being tossed when or if it ever goes to trial.
  • Research Discovers Women Will Support Any Cause No Matter How Murderous So Long As They Get To Wear A Scarf

    05/08/2024 11:49:33 AM PDT · by DFG · 16 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/08/2024 | Babylon Bee
    U.S. — New research has discovered that women will throw their support behind any cause, no matter how violent and sexist, as long as they get to wear a scarf. "So, let me get this straight: this cause treats women as property, believes raping women an acceptable form of violence, and vows to murder innocent civilians - but I get to wear a scarf?" asked local college student Danielle Walker. "That sounds amazing! Sign me up!" Though researchers had posited that women would be turned off to a cause where men take videos of themselves butchering children, they were surprised...
  • Dead Worm Found In RFK Jr.’s Brain Already Polling Higher Than Biden In 11 States

    05/08/2024 11:47:07 AM PDT · by DFG · 13 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/08/2024 | Babylon Bee
    U.S. — Following the revelation that a deadly parasite was once removed from his skull, political experts were shocked to learn that the dead worm found in Robert F. Kennedy, Jr.'s brain was already polling higher than Joe Biden in 11 states. The latest poll results indicated a large portion of the electorate had abandoned Biden in favor of the deceased parasite that had previously been lodged in RFK Jr.'s brain, leaving the White House scrambling to formulate a strategy to combat the dead worm. "We weren't expecting to see numbers like these," said one high-ranking Biden campaign strategist under...
  • Problems with the Classified Documents Case? [semi-satire]

    05/08/2024 11:09:24 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 2 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 May 2024 | John Semmens
    This week, the case against former President Trump for mishandling classified documents took some surprising turns. Investigative journalist Julie Kelly discovered that the boxes of documents seized from Trump's Mara-La-Go home were boxes that the General Services Administration told Trump he needed to take off their hands. He is now being tried for having these documents in his possession against the wishes of the National Archives. Despite claiming he had no role in the decision to prosecute Trump for unauthorized possession of classified documents--something he has done, but was excused because of his dementia--newly unredacted documents reveal that President Biden...
  • modern sayings for a woke generation

    05/07/2024 2:29:42 PM PDT · by Peter ODonnell · 5 replies
    original to Free Republic | May 7, 2024 | Peter O'Donnell
    For a woke generation ... The early bird triggers the worm. A stitch in time is another example of white privilege. If you can't say something good, post on the internet. Early to bed and early to rise cuts into your party time considerably. If at first you don't succeed, join the Democrats. Always avoid the sunny side of the street. If you can keep your head while all around you are losing theirs, you will be ostracized for showing off. Inky Dinky Spider was a racist construct subtly denigrating people of color. Red skies at night, global warming. Give...
  • Biden's Economic Advisor Doesn't Understand Economics [semi-satire]

    05/07/2024 12:06:23 PM PDT · by John Semmens · 7 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 May 2024 | John Semmens
    The unbroken string of economic disasters that is Bidenomics now has a solid explanation. Jared Bernstein, the Chairman of the President's Council of Economic Advisers doesn't understand economics. While being interviewed for the newly released documentary Finding the Money, he was unable to explain how the Federal Reserve creates money--something I taught to freshmen in macroeconomics classes for 23 years. "The government definitely prints money, and it definitely lends that money by selling bonds," Bernstein guessed. "Is that what they do? They sell bonds, yeah, they sell bonds. Right? Since they sell bonds, and people buy the bonds and lend...
  • VIDEO: Ka-CHING! Washed Up Former Congressman Walsh Embraces TDS for Cash

    05/07/2024 11:40:42 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 8 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 7, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO Former Congressman Joe Walsh has been in a nosedive ever since his infamous 2011 Town Hall meltdown in which he attacked his own constituents. Of course, he lost his next election and proceeded to dive further into the depths of economic desperation and mental depravity until he discovered that if only he sold his soiled soul and embraced the TDS left he could earn a few pieces of silver they tossed his way for performing anti-Trump propaganda tricks for them. Look for more and more broadcast appearances by PATHETIC Joe Walsh the closer to Election Day we get. Oh,...
  • 12 Women Come Forward Alleging They Were Sexually Assaulted By Whoever Trump’s VP Pick Is

    05/07/2024 10:58:04 AM PDT · by DFG · 27 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 05/07/2024 | Babylon Bee
    U.S. — A new wave of controversy erupted as 12 women came forward alleging they had been sexually assaulted by whoever Trump's vice presidential pick would end up being. The damning allegations began to come in despite the fact that Trump has yet to officially name a running mate or even disclose whether the pick is a man or a woman. Sources confirmed at least a dozen highly credible accusers emerged to demand justice against whoever the VP candidate might be. "Whoever the VP pick is, I am here to tell my story of how I was inappropriately touched by...
  • Babylon Bee's Trump Bible - Truly Free Speech Or Sacriligious Disrespect ?

    05/06/2024 2:12:15 PM PDT · by Ozguy1945 · 55 replies
    https://babylonbee.com/ ^ | 07/05/2024 | Ozguy1945
    I cannot think of anything in comedy in my lifetime more deeply meaningful to me than Babylon Bee. There was Mark Twain. Who agrees? Who believes that the Bee's Trump Bible is sacrilegious?
  • VIDEO: Loony Judge Luttig Claims Trump Threatens America's "Heart and SOOOUUUUUUULLL"

    05/06/2024 1:33:20 PM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 22 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 6, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEOLoony former federal Judge Michael Luttig recently turned himself into a laughable clown show when the U.S. Supreme Court UNANIMOUSLY shot down his ABSURD scheme to keep President Donald Trump off the 2024 ballots. When that extreme HUMILIATION slapped him in the face, Luttig went into a state of highly entertaining grief-stricken mourning which was covered here in the DUmmie FUnnies. However, after a brief period of hiding in shame, Luttig is baaaaaack with yet more lunacy. He now seems to think that DEMOCRACY IS AT STAKE. No, not because of all the illegal LAWFARE being thrown at Trump with...
  • Refugees Receive Voter Registration Forms [semi-satire]

    05/06/2024 10:55:26 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 3 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 May 2024 | John Semmens
    In South Carolina, state representative and congressional candidate Adam Morgan wondered "why is the state Medicaid Office giving voter registration forms to non-citizens seeking health care?" In response, Gov. Henry McMaster (R) said "the integrity of our elections is and must remain a top priority. I have asked the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division (SLED) to investigate." Presidential Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre pointed out "in March 2021 President Biden issued an executive order called Promoting Access to Voting that authorized the expenditure of public funds to increase the number of people who vote in our elections. This non-partisan initiative has...
  • VIDEO: Sanjay Gupta Pushed COVID Vaccine on Sesame Street Weeks AFTER Myocarditis Warnings

    05/06/2024 7:53:49 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 9 replies
    Rumble ^ | May 6, 2024 | DUmmie FUnnies
    VIDEO If they ever make a "The Sorrow and The Pity" type documentary about medical people selling their souls out for Big Pharma money in the era of COVID, these clips of Sanjay Gupta hyping vaccines for children on a CNN/Sesame Street Special in November 2021 just WEEKS after being confronted with devastating stats on the rate of Myocarditis in boys who took the COVID vax on Joe Rogan in October 2021 should definitely appear in the film. Did Sanjay Gupta know at the time that he was to appear on that Sesame Street special to hype the vaccine for...
  • Ukraine to Become 51st US State? [semi-satire]

    05/05/2024 10:52:26 AM PDT · by John Semmens · 9 replies
    Semi-News/Semi-Satire ^ | 5 May 2024 | John Semmens
    Calling himself "a nervous wreck" after the prolonged struggle in the US Congress over whether to extend more aid to him, Ukraine's President Volodymyr Zelensky is "working on a new, more secure status for my country. Whether aid will or won't be given to a foreign country is too 'iffy' to ensure we won't be engulfed by Russia. Even if we are allowed to join NATO there would always be a chance that a future US President or Congress would demand we defend ourselves. It is clear to me now that the only way we can be free from Russian...