Free Republic

The DUmmies are going rabid again over Joe Lieberman over the fact that he will act to block the ObamaCare bill coming to the Senate. Rabid DUmmies are also FUnnie DUmmies as you can see in this THREAD, "It's Official: Lieberman going to Block Senate HCR Bill." Since I am currently busy preparing for my big Caribbean adventure this weekend on Culebra, I'll keep this intro short but sweet. This also means I probably won't be able to post another DUFU edition until I get back. Perhaps I will even regale you with how we were able to travel...

The DUmmies are going rabid, foaming at the mouth, over the Blue Dog Democrats spoiling their precious "public option"! And they lump Pelosi and even Obama in with the Blue Dogs! The DUmmies are all upset because the Pelosi Obamacare bill is not QUITE as full-blown socialist as they would like--even though it would go WAY far to the left. And the dreaded Blue Dogs? Many of them have turned out to be nothing more than Nancy's neutered puppies. They have rolled over and played dead. Take, for example, erstwhile "Blue Dog" Rep. Earl Pomeroy (D-ND). He has finally...

DEmoralized DUmmies are FUnnie DUmmies. Remember the Ramen Noodles DUmmie? Well, DUmmie Skidmore must be stocking up on Ramen Noodles bigtime considering his complete disappointment with Obama as you can see in his THREAD, "I'm all out of outrage." Yes, Barack Obama was elected last year with a huge majority in both houses of congress and STILL almost nothing positive has been done to help the economy. Only huge bailout bucks to the banks along with Porkulus with nothing to show for it except rising unemployment. As for healthcare, it looks like it will be stalled and possibly killed...

The gasbag has landed! No, not the good ship Jiffy Pop. No, I'm talking about "Baloney Boy" Will Pitt. Mr. Pitt has just gotten back from his honeymoon! Our Little Willie is now a married man! WOOOO HOOOO!!!!! Congrats, Will! We here at DUmmie FUnnies are very happy for you and your bride, and we wish you all the best. I'm series. If I could, I would buy you a beer at Bukowski's and raise a toast in your honor. Li'l Beaver would give you a cigar. We may have our political differences--oh, kind of like the difference between...

I know, I know, you're asking, "What about the Pitt wedding DUFU?" Well, before we get to the gasbag that got hitched, first we need to deal with a gasbag that got UN-hitched! I refer, of course, to the Balloon Boy saga, and the DUmmies' reaction to the story. But before we hear from the DUmmies, let's join the Heene Family Singers in singing one of their favorite Ballooney Tunes: UP, UP ON THE SCREEN (IN MY HELIUM BALLOON) Tune: "Up, Up and Away (In My Beautiful Balloon)" Original Would you like to hide in my helium balloon Would...

Hey DUmmies! If you want the honor of having your thread DUFUed, then be really creative in your titles. The main reason why this THREAD was DUFUed was its title, ""Mr President, do know how many people lived on ramen noodles to get you elected?" No matter how many times I read it, I never fail to chuckle. In fact, the rest of the thread is pretty much anticlimactic although the personal woes posted by the author, DUmmie thunder rising, is also quite FUnnie. This thread has even inspired a new DUmmie description on my part: Ramen Noodle DUmmies....

Hillary Clinton recently claimed that she won't ever run for prescient again and the DUmmies actually believe her. Of course, Hillary would never lie. Right? In fact, not only do I believe that Hillary Clinton will run again for president, I think she can't wait for 2016 to arrive and will challenge Barack Obama in the 2012 Democrat primaries. So sure am I of this that I even POSTED the exact date of what I think will be her official announcement in the Free Republic: September 12, 2011. Think Ted Kennedy challenging Jimmy Carter. However, the DUmmies completely buy...

Barack Obama may have won the Nobel Peace Prize today, but over in DUmmieland he has also succeeded in winning the DUmmie Pissed Prize! That's right, lots of DUmmies are PISSED that the Nobel would go to that imperialist warmonger, Barack McSame. So that means the loyal Obamabots are busy trying to put down the naysayers and put on a happy face. It all makes for anything BUT peace in DUmmieland, as we see in this THREAD, "Breaking News: Obama wins 2009 Nobel Peace Prize." So let us now watch the DUmmies get a piece of Barack, in Red-Cape-in-Front-of-a-Bull...

This is a short but shocking DUFU edition today. William Rivers Pitt apparently opened up his Trust Fund checkbook and purchased his way into giving a speech at an Eleanor Roosevelt Awards Dinner held by Denver area Democrats. I could post his overlong boring speech which was my original intention but I just couldn't get over his voice. You can't hear him by clicking the pic above but if you go to TRUTHOUT, just scroll down to the video and click on it. If you had ever heard Pitt's voice before his throat started getting eaten away by the...

Something shocking here. I actually agree with the DUmmies that Saturday Night Live performer, Fred Armisen, did a lousy job of impersonating Barack Obama's voice. It's really not that tough. All you have to do is snap out a few words, pause, and then speak again. Yet Armisen did not even make the slightest attempt to do this. Why didn't the SNL director point this out? Who knows? However, despite that obvious flaw, the SNL skit last night was hilarious as you can see in this VIDEO. Basically, they had Obama admitting that the only things he has been...

President Obama, I come from Chicago. I was born in Chicago. Chicago was where I grew up. Mr. President, you are not a Chicagoan. Yes, it's true. I, Charles Henrickson, was born and raised in Chicago, in the city. I was that rarest of creatures there--a registered Republican. And I love my hometown. Even as I detest the corrupt Democratic machine that runs it. The Chicago I grew up in, the Chicago of Hizzoner da Mare, was corrupt, yes. But the Chicago of today, under da Mare's kid, Richie, is both corrupt and radically leftist, fostering the likes of...

As Alan "Dick" Grayson . . . . . . . . . . . As "Robbin'". . . . . . . . The DUmmies have a new superhero! He is Alan "Dick" Grayson, aka "Robbin'." Forget Kookcinich, forget Daffy Dean! No, the Flavor of the Month for the Looney Left is this guy Grayson! What is his claim to fame? The new congresscritter from Florida recently said that Rethuglicans are "knuckle-dragging Neanderthals" who want sick people to "die quickly." Whoa! That kind of trash talk is right up the DUmmies' alley! But now, after the furor those...

Our DUmmie Ant Farm is endlessly entertaining. We get to observe the little critters in their natural habitat, burrowing underground, scurrying to and fro, all for our amusement. Sometimes something sets them off, and they go into a tizzy, swirling and circling in mad consternation. Other times they seem all energetic and upbeat. It's FUn to monitor the many moods of our DUmmie ants! And when a new ant enters the ant farm, the long-time residents greet the newbie by extending their ant antennae in both welcome and suspicion. That's what he have going on today, as new DUmmie...

I was actually planning on doing a DUFU about either the DUmmies or KOmmies biting their fingernails over the survival of public option in ObamaCare. Right now they are acting as if their very existence depends on public option remaining. However, I find the constant micro-analysis of each little nuance and twitch of the various Senators and Congress folks to be highly annoying. Like their self-absorbed neurosis was making me neurotic reading about it. Therefore I decided to go with the FUn THREAD, "Actors you were bummed to find out were Republican..." At least one of the actors mentioned...

Zero loves the little children All the children in our schools Red and yellow, black and white Future voters in his sight Zero loves the little children in our schools By now you probably have seen the VIDEO of those schoolchildren singing the praises of Barack Obama. And if you have been a follower of the DUmmie FUnnies for any length of time, you would expect two things: 1) The DUmmies would have a nutty thread on it; and 2) We here at DUmmie FUnnies would DUFU it. And since it involves singing, you could also expect: 3) I, Charles...

One of the recurring thread-types we have chronicled here at the DUmmie FUnnies over the last five years is the "My Encounter With A Freeper" thread. In a MEWAF thread, the DUmmie recounts an incident in which he or she either 1) converted the Freeper, 2) put down the Freeper, or simply 3) experienced bizarre boorish behavior from the Freeper. This latter subtype--a "MEWAF-III," as we call it in the trade--is what we are dealing with here today, a Freeper Encounter of the Third Kind. It should be noted, MEWAF threads may be more or less fictionalized to make...

Li'l Beaver sez: "Today is the DUmmie FUnnies' FIFTH ANNIVERSARY! Ask me anything!" Yes, boys and girls, it was five years ago TODAY that PJ-Comix started the DUmmie FUnnies as its own stand-alone feature on Free Republic! Since then, the DUFUs have grown to amass the LARGEST ping list on FR--1,037 pingees!--and have spawned a DUmmie FUnnies blog on Blogspot. And what a FUn ride it's been! We started by satirizing just the DUmmies of Democratic Underground, but PJ has expanded our horizons to take in the KOmmies of Daily Kos and the HUffies of Huffington Post. The Looney Left...

Remember William Rivers Pitt proclaiming He Parked It about Obama's ObamaCare speech last week? Please toss that down the memory hole. What has inevitably happened with most of Pitt's pompous pronouncements is that he has done a complete 180 as you in this THREAD, "Back to the Health Care Drawing Board." The new operative phrase is "He Blew It" and we will get to the full money quote later in this DUFU edition. However, is anyone here really surprised? One of the things that Pitt is most famous for is his perpetual self-contradiction. Want Pitt to change his mind?...

The DUmmies are in a state of depression. On the heels of the Max Baucus bipartisan Senate bill (bipartisan in that BOTH Democrats and Republicans hate it) a glum Dennis Kucinich is predicting DOOM for any ObamaCare bill containing a public option as you can see in this THREAD, "Kucinich has a diary up at Daily Kos predicting doom for the public option."A side note here before we proceed further. A certain WILLIAMS RIVERS PITT served briefly as the press secretary for Dennis Kucinich in early 2004. Yes, Will finally had a REAL JOB in the world of politics...

AIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!! MY EYES! MY EYES!Yes, that is the sound of the DUmmies and KOmmies shriveling in pain in the face of the time lapse VIDEO that clearly shows that the 9/12 Tea Party in Washington, D.C. numbered in the HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS at the very least and more likely well over a million. The Daily Mail put the number at two million and the the time lapse video certainly shows it could well have hit that figure. And this is why the DUmmies and KOmmies are acting towards that time lapse video like vampires confronted by a cross. So...

Note to William Rivers Pitt. You're political poison to the Democrats. Get used to it. Your Fitzmas Hail Mary pass stating that Karl Rove had been indicted on May 12, 2006 has rendered you permanently toxic to that party. Even a NUtcase like Van Jones got hired while you still languish in trust fund kid obscurity. So the little grandstand stunt you pulled tonight sucking up to Obama minutes after his speech even earned you the disgust of your fellow DUmmies. Nice try, Will, but your suckup THREAD, "He parked it" accomplished you nothing but the mockery of many...

Yes! Yes! Oh let me taste your tears, DUmmies! Oh, the tears of unfathomable sadness! Mmm-yummy! Mmm-yummy!Yes, the sweet tears being shed by the DUmmies and KOmmies over the loss of Van Jones are quite tasty. In case you haven't heard, self-admitted former COMMUNIST Van Jones resigned overnight. And now the entire leftwing blogosphere is in a state of deep mourning over his loss. This is just the first big disappointment in store for them this week since in a few days, their beloved Barack is sure to toss their sacred Public Option under the van. You can see...

Enjoy their sweet, sweet pain and lamentations. ... and, for those who prefer to watch KOSsacks suffer and writhe in delicious torment: here. ;)

Will BO throw Van under the bus? "Van," as we all know by now, is Obozo's Green Commie Czar, Van Jones. Commie Czar Jones's Looney Left resume is impressive, even for a member of BO's Politburo. This article, 'Green Jobs' Adviser's Past Could Stir Trouble for White House at Critical Time, reviews his leftist credentials: Involved in STORM, "Standing Together to Organize a Revolutionary Movement," a Marxist-Leninist Communist organization. A white-hating black racist, co-founder of "Color of Change." A 9/11 "Truther." Now a "Green Jobs" adviser. But it's not easy being green. Besides all his commie and truther baggage...

Let's see. The Democrats now control the White House as well as the House and Senate by huge majorities. So what is the attitude of the DUmmies? ANGER at the Republicans for somehow messing things up for them. Sorry, but if their beloved Barack Obama can't move legislation with all those odds stacked in his favor that shows incredibly POOR political ability. For all his faults, Lyndon B. Johnson was a master at politics and would have NO trouble moving legislation through congress under these conditions. How do I know? Because he did. It was called the Great Society....

(WARNING: Extreme hypocrisy alert! If what you read below revolts you, don't say you weren't warned in advance).Did you know that there is a new religion out there? In addition to the Eastern Orthodox Catholics, Anglican Catholics, and Roman Catholics, there is now something called "Kennedy Catholics." At least according to the suddenly devout William Rivers Pitt in his DUmmie THREAD, "For any and all Kennedy Catholics on this page." Fasten your seatbelts because you will see the exact same folks who have no problem cursing out people who attend real (not Kennedy) Catholic churches suddenly become exceeding reverent,...

Remember the bumbling Inspector Jacques Clouseau of Pink Panther fame? No matter what mistakes he made, such as falling over a sofa, he gravely claimed it was all part of his master plan in his investigation. Well, the DUmmies have the same attitude about Obama. They believe that his political fumbling is all part of some sort of ingenious master plan known only to him. Yes, the president has beome the Inspector Barack Clouseau™ for the DUmmies as you can see in this THREAD, "Barack Obama, You FOOLED ME, And I Apologize." Yes, the DUmmies are apologizing for thinking...

"Pull the plug." The DUmmies are SEETHING! SOMEBODY SHOOK UP THE ANTS! And it was none other than Mr. Hopey-Changey himself. Apparently, he's changing his mind on the "public option" and hoping his Marxist base won't mind too much. Well, think again, bunkie! Here's the deal: As he sees his poll numbers tanking, Emperor Zero is waking up and smelling the tea leaves. America may not be quite ready for full-blown, government-run, socialized health care just yet. But the DUmmies are! And if Obama drops the public option, they may just drop him! That's been the buzz in our DUmmie...

<p>Earlier this month, we covered the story of the “Socialist Joker” Obama poster, which was spotted around Los Angeles and as far afield as Chicago. By early August, the image had gone viral, enraging progressives and earning plaudits from conservatives. Now, thanks to some gumshoeing by the folks over at the Los Angeles Times, the creator of the portrait has been unmasked.</p>

News that the White House is ready to abandon the "public option" has the 'rats and the DUmp depressed and desperate. In fact, I think a few of them need some "end of life counseling"...

The DUmmies absolutely can't tolerate conservatives. They would dearly love to remove Rush Limbaugh from the air via the "Fairness Doctrine." It enrages them that Michelle Malkin's book, on the heels of Mark Levin's book, is now the top seller in the country. So no surprise they are now gloating about a stunt posted in this DUmmie THREAD, "I covered up Glen Beck's books at Costco today." So let us now watch the DUmmies hail this laughably pathetic attempt at censorship in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, thinking that a lot of Barnes & Noble...

The townhall protests are working...and working beautifully. It looks like the Obamites are going to have to gut most of their beloved Obamacare to nothing but a meaningless feel-good bill in order to allow it to pass. This increasingly likely scenario is what is now demoralizing the DUmmies as you can see in this THREAD, "I've decided we should let the Republicans kill off the damn thing." Yes, the vox populi has spoken despite the Obamaton smears of them as professional Brooks Brothers Astroturf protesters. Anybody with half a brain know this is not true and the politicians are...

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3179840 As some of you may have noticed, recently the Republican Party has begun cracking down on the "birthers", realizing that openly supporting the most crazy members of your party is, well, problematic for appealing to non-crazy people. This, of course, leads to even more crazy, as they turn on their leaders for hiding the "truth". It's a drat shame to let all this crazy go to waste, when properly cultivated and raised it could be so much more. So welcome to the first FreeRepublic Infiltration Contest! We're going to infiltrate freerepublic as agents provocateur. This can take several forms;...

CERVEZABOBEERACK OBOTTLESTAY STUPID, my friends His ego is expanding faster than the national debt. He once bowled a 37. Honest. He lives vicariously through his teleprompter. The police often question him, just so he can say they acted stupidly. His blood smells like arugula. Every time a pitcher throws a perfect game, he claims to know them. He's been known to cure insomnia, just by holding a press conference. People hang on his every word. They're so bored they hang themselves. He can speak Indonesian . . . in Kenyan. He is the Most Irritating Man in the World. "I...

It looks like Barack Obama has disappointed the DUmmies to the extent that they are now looking for a new hero. And who have they chosen? None other than an old hero, the ambulance chasing philanderer known as...John Edwards! Yes, unbelievably the Breck Girl now has strange new respect in DUmmieland as you can see in this THREAD, "John Edwards was RIGHT..." Too FUnnie! You sure know how to pick them, DUmmies. So let us now watch the DUmmies idolize their new/old hero in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, wondering if Edwards is still channeling...

Remember what the Director of the Congressional Budget Office said late last week about the Obama QAHCAA (Quality, Affordable Health Coverage for All Americans---official title) health plan? ALL news sources reporting on it say that the director stated that it would INCREASE the deficit. However, despite what the CBO Budget Director actually said, the DUmmies are hailing the budgetary gymnastics emanating from Nancy Pelosi's OFFICE to claim that he really said that it would be budget neutral. Another way of saying, don't believe what your lying ears heard, this is what he really meant. Unfortunately, only the far left...

Check out the hysterical reaction of the DUmmies to the Obama Administration's decision to open up 381 of 17,000,000 acres of Tongass National Forest in Alaska to logging. Some of the loons went so far as to attack anyone who pointed out the bigger picture as a freeper. Fun stuff. Kool Aid drinkers of all stripes are losing the taste.

Are you ready for a shock? The Bush Administration authorized the CIA to capture or kill Osama Bin Laden and other top Al Qaeda leaders. GASP! The next thing you know, there will be a shocking revelation that professional wrestling is fixed. And now the hero of the Karl Rove indictment scoop of May 12, 2006 wants an investigation of Dick Cheney for somehow withholding from Congress something which was already published in the New York Times and which everybody down to small kids already knew---a program to kill or capture terrorists. Police captain Louis Renard is shocked, shocked,...

From the outset, let me make one thing perfectly clear. I have absolutely NO problem with the Vancouver Sun. In fact, I have very good memories of that newspaper from back in the days when I used to freelance my humor columns. They published my column frequently and paid more than adequately plus the managing editor at the time was a really great guy. So let us not blame mental case Chris Parry aka HollywoodOz on the Sun (ironically I syndicated my column via my own Sun Features). It turns out Parry who published an article slamming Freepers is...

Removal of Rush Limbaugh from the airwaves seems to be a constant theme among the DUmmies. And the first place they want to start is at Armed Forces Radio as we saw in a DUFU EDITION last January. And now the DUmmies have returned to this topic as you can see in this DUmmie THREAD, "Recommend this thread if you agree that Rush Limbaugh should be thrown off Armed Forces Radio." Yes, it wouldn't suprise me a bit if the Obamatons TRY to remove Rush from Armed Forces Radio but the result would be a huge OUTCRY from military...

RUMORS WRONG: Agent rebuts circulating allegations cited by Anchorage blogger. The FBI is taking the unusual step of declaring that Gov. Sarah Palin is not under investigation, as Palin herself left for Western Alaska and communicated to the world through her Twitter account. "We are not investigating her," FBI spokesman Eric Gonzalez said on Sunday. "Normally we don't confirm or deny those kind of allegations out there, but by not doing so it just casts her in a very bad light. There is just no truth to those rumors out there in the blogosphere." Palin has ignored requests for an...

One great fringe benefit of the Tea Parties is that they are driving the DUmmies absolutely NUts as you can see in this THREAD, "You dumb f*cking ignorant ass rednecks." Reading this thread by DUmmie Horse with no Name is like watching a public scream for mental health help. The deranged DUmmie is ANGRY that the Tea Parties are calling attention to Obama's FAILED economic policy. Of course, this DUmmie, and the others, are continuing to BLAME BUSH even though unemployment numbers during his presicency never came anywhere near 9.5%. Sorry DUmmies but Porkopulous did NOT work and they...

The previous DUmmie FUnnies EDITION demonstrated the laughable excuses the DUmmies have come up with to explain the high ratings of Fox News. In this DUFU edition we are treated to yet more DUmmie excuses only this time it comes in the form of FUnnie excuses to explain how MSNBC's Rachel Maddow has plunged so steeply in the ratings. You can see the DUmmies struggling to come up with excuses in this THREAD, "Rachel Maddow's Audience Down Nearly 55%." I can give you the easy explanation for her epic fail: she stinks! So what will MSNBC do when they...

Few things drive the denizens of the Democratic Underground into a frenzy like the mere mention of Fox News. Therefore, as you can expect, a story in the Hollywood Reporter, Fox News set for best year yet, sent the members of what they call the "reality-based community" into some very unreal yet highly entertaining reactions to that unwelcome news. But before we allow the DUers to take the comedy stage, let us take a look at the Hollywood Reporter story by James Hibberd that sent them into a divorced-from-reality frenzy: Fox News is on track to have its most-watched year...

It's killing them. It is absolutely KILLING them!!! The DUmmies just can't handle the enormous success of Fox News. What has sent them into a frenzy is a STORY in the Hollywood Reporter about the incredible success this year of Fox News, "Fox News set for best year yet." It is just driving the DUmmies NUts and FUnniest of all are their lame excuses as to why Fox News is doing so well while the other cable news networks have their ratings in the toilet as you can see in this THREAD, "Fox News Set for Best Year Yet...

The DUmmies are in a temporary celebratory mood. Emphasis on "temporary." Why? Because South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford got caught having an affair. Do not cry for me, Argentina!Maria!I just met a girl named Maria! And suddenly that name,Will never be the same to me.Huh! How can your humble correspondent, a card-carrying member of the vast right-wing conspiracy, joke about the romantic travails of Republican Sanford? Simple. One because his syrupy e-mails to to girlfriend Maria are FUnnie plus I am glad he just vetted himself out of contention from ever being a candidate for President. Yeah, that's right....

If you thought yesterday's DUFU EDITION, in which the DUmmies expressed deep disappointment with the Bamster, was an oddity you would be wrong. Right now DUmmieland is chock full of disappointment in The One as you can see in the very title of this THREAD, "Obama's promise of a new beginning now hollow." And the main reason for this disillusionment centers on health care. Yeah, there will probably be some sort of meaningless health care bill with a feel good theme such as RESOLVED: Adequate health care is a good thing. It would have just as much actual effect...

The DUmmies are quickly losing their faith in The One. Why? Because it looks more and more likely that any health care program that is passed will have NO "public option" which are code words for "single payer" which are code words for "socialized medicine." Actually it is becoming increasingly unlikely that there will be any health care program, other than just some meaningless Happy Face plan for PR purposes only, coming out of Congress this year or anytime in the foreseeable future. As Obama himself said, we have run OUT of money. Also the Chinese holds a major...

Oops! Such a reaction would be adequate if you locked yourself out of your car. It happens to most of us at one time or another. However, it is woefully inadequate as a response when you blow nearly $800 billion of taxpayers money on a government program that failed completely. Such was the response of VP Joe Biden on Meet The Press yesterday when he said that "everyone guessed wrong" on the economic stimulus package.Oops!And now the DUmmies are upset that Biden said this out in the open where it is sure to hurt their Beloved Barack bigtime as...

Not only are the DUmmies forced into defending David Lecherman's rape joke (as we chronicled in our previous DUFU), now they have to defend Jeremiah Wright's "Them Jews" comment! Or else they try to distance Obamassiah from the preacher he willingly listened to for over 20 years. Uncle Jeremiah can be a political liability to The One, so better throw him under the bus! See both reactions here in this THREAD, "Wright: Jews blocking him from W.H." This week the DUmmies have tried to pin the Holocaust Museum shooter on Free Republic, believe it or not, but the fact...