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World Cup Fever!!! Avoid It Like Avian Flu!
The Voice of Reason ^ | June 13, 2010 | Texas Peartree

Posted on 06/13/2010 12:05:17 PM PDT by Texas Peartree

The fevered pitch of excitement is hard to describe! Americans are jubilant at the 1-1 tie their team picked up against the British (we still are furious about their colonialism and cuisine)! On my block alone there have been two, make that three soccer riots.

I myself have pushed a brick wall over onto a crowd a singing Argentina soccer fans . . . twice. Well, same crowd but different brick walls. Wait, why were they singing the lyrics from Evita?

No, the fact is that nobody in America gives a tinker's damn about soccer, or at least no American in America does. Nor should they. When I was growing up it was all about the big three: football, baseball and basketball. Actually, here is Texas it was pretty much about the big one: football. Baseball and basketball were simply a way to stay in shape during the football off-season.

I notice that in whatever ethnic restaurants I go to (Chinese, Middle Eastern, Latin American) there is a flat-screen TV showing a thrilling 0-0 game. All of the waitstaff have their eyes glued to the "beautiful game". What am I missing? the game is deadly boring with virtually no scoring. It is like National League baseball in the 1980s.

There is, it must be said, something deeply un-American about a game that we Americans cannot regularly dominate. This must stop. If we do not win the World Cup this year, we must all agree to drop soccer as a sport. Agreed?...

(Excerpt) Read more at corybirenbaum.blogspot.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Sports
KEYWORDS: soccer; sport; worldcup
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1 posted on 06/13/2010 12:05:18 PM PDT by Texas Peartree
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To: Texas Peartree
I'm celebrating the World Cup by blowing on a vuvuzela horn until someone beats or shoots me. Apparently soccer has turned the entire nation of South Africa into complete a$$@*#@s with their horns. It would be like everyone going to the Super Bowl with their own set of bagpipes.
2 posted on 06/13/2010 12:09:32 PM PDT by KarlInOhio (I am so immune to satire that I ate three Irish children after reading Swift's "A Modest Proposal")
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To: Texas Peartree
I tried to watch the U.S. v. England match. I really did. And if not for the loud, constant, undescribably annoying blaring of vuvuzelas from the stadium crowd I may have lasted 'til the end. Maybe. But 5 minutes of that noise was all I could stand. Mute button, then sleep.
3 posted on 06/13/2010 12:11:58 PM PDT by Mr. Mojo
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To: KarlInOhio

Those horns were annoying enough on tv... could you imagine actually sitting in the stands hearing that for several hours?


4 posted on 06/13/2010 12:30:31 PM PDT by OCC
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To: KarlInOhio
Festering bowl of psychotic animals.
5 posted on 06/13/2010 12:42:31 PM PDT by norraad ("What light!">Blues Brothers)
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To: Texas Peartree

Any sport whose once in 4 years world championship can be decided by a penalty kick shootout has got serious problems.
That is like the Super Bowl being decided by a Punt, Pass, and Kick competition, the World Series decided by a home run derby contest, or the NBA title given to the winner of the HORSE competition.

Equally frustrating is that if a team has a one goal lead (inevitably 1-0) with 15 minutes to play, the game is essentially over. Scoring is an aberration, and the chance of overcoming an insurmountable one goal lead in that time is remote at best.

However, so I am not viewed as the ugly American (both of which I am), I offer the following subtle rule modifications in an effort to get this actually decent sport out of its embarrassingly bad rulebook dilemma:

1) Make the goal slightly larger. Not a lot - perhaps a meter wider, and/or half a meter taller. (See, I know my metrics system equivalents - I know how to go the extra 1.609 kilometers).

2) Relax the offsides rule. Maybe allow one player to violate it, or even one player by 3 meters or so. Breakaways are exciting - encourage their occurrence.

3) Limit the area in which the goalie is allowed to use his hands.

4) On free kicks, limit the number of players allowed as part of the “wall”. Or make them at least take their cups off. 8^)


6 posted on 06/13/2010 12:43:04 PM PDT by Eccl 10:2 (Pray for the peace of Jerusalem - Ps 122:6)
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To: Texas Peartree

I would rather have bamboo shoved under my nails than be forced to watch soccer. Unlike some native Texans, I have embraced the glorious sport of hockey. Fast, hard-hitting action all in wonderful air-conditioned comfort.


7 posted on 06/13/2010 12:52:40 PM PDT by bigredkitty1 (March 5,2010. Rest in peace, sweet boy. I will miss you, Big Red.)
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To: Eccl 10:2

Leave the stands in place but plow the field and plant corn. Sell tickets to watch it grow. It may not exceed the “excitement” of soccer but it’s a start.


8 posted on 06/13/2010 12:52:54 PM PDT by JPG (Mr. Gore, we have a warrant for your arrest...put your hands behind your back.)
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To: Texas Peartree

I watched the last 15 minutes of the game yesterday. why the hell do I want to watch a game that ends in a tie. It is a waste of time.

At least I did not see any of those horrible soccer injuries where the player writhes on the ground for eternity.


9 posted on 06/13/2010 12:53:14 PM PDT by mickey finn
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To: mickey finn

Perhaps people watch it, to actually see the players play?


10 posted on 06/13/2010 1:01:46 PM PDT by stuartcr (Everything happens as God wants it to...otherwise, things would be different)
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To: Texas Peartree

I think its amusing how the MSM trys their best to browbeat us into caring about Soccer every time the World Cup rolls around. They say we’re just being stubborn and anti-global by not caring about something that means so much to the rest of the world. They try to convince us that, “Soccer really is fun! It really is exciting! Heck, soccer players are the best athletes in the world! They tell us to just give it a try... Americans have never cared about soccer, and will never care about soccer. It will always rank below Football, Basketball, Baseball, Tennis, Golf, Hockey and Nascar in the American Psyche.


11 posted on 06/13/2010 1:02:34 PM PDT by apillar
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To: Texas Peartree

In the World, yes, but in America, if soccer and Libertarians were completely removed, who would give a damn? Not I.


12 posted on 06/13/2010 1:04:01 PM PDT by fish hawk
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To: Texas Peartree

I’m a Steelers fan, but that’s it. The other sports are dull as hell. Last year, I was almost forced to watch Pittsburgh pursue the Stanley Cup. I was in this rehab facility with only one tv, and the other patients insisted on watching the game. When I went to my room to plug in the CD player and listen to some music, I was labeled as anti-social. Big wup!

I’m even souring on the Steelers. Major sports have tons of overpaid, underworked participants, many of whom must have too much time on their hands because they are constantly getting in and out of trouble. Ben Roethlisberger, for example. The guy sneezes and every local station has to cover it. And people call these guys heroes. Something is wrong.


13 posted on 06/13/2010 1:05:38 PM PDT by fatnotlazy
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To: Texas Peartree
I followed soccer while my kids played it (my son played U-18 premier), but if you don’t have a son or daughter on the field ....
14 posted on 06/13/2010 1:07:16 PM PDT by bwc2221
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To: Texas Peartree

“World Cup Fever”
Didn’t the Chicago Ballhawks win? I thought that was all over.


15 posted on 06/13/2010 1:07:49 PM PDT by tumblindice (The Big Four?)
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To: OCC

They are all wearing ear plugs and they are all drunk.


16 posted on 06/13/2010 1:08:23 PM PDT by Carley (For those who fought for it, freedom has a flavor the protected will never know.)
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To: Eccl 10:2

5) Shrink the field down to 10 yards wide. That would make things interesting.


17 posted on 06/13/2010 1:21:51 PM PDT by OCC
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To: Texas Peartree
"He holds... He holds..." (from: The Simpsons)
18 posted on 06/13/2010 1:25:14 PM PDT by Lancey Howard
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To: Texas Peartree

I haven’t been following womens sports.


19 posted on 06/13/2010 2:21:51 PM PDT by Coastie (cpo retired)
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To: fatnotlazy

I count myself as a hockey fan and even though the object is the same the method, speed and skill involved is very different. Soccer without a doubt of all the sports takes the least amount of skill, athletic prowess and physical toughness. Its made for the limp wrists the world over. Hockey you could have 25 shots on goal a period, lots of hard hits, and an exposition of real athleticism. Soccer it’s a glorified hack sack game with a round leather ball. I can always tell the kids which will be liberals or homosexuals, their parents let them play soccer after age 7. I am glad America has roundly rejected soccer as a national sport of record, even with the import of David Beckham and his Spice Girl wife in her stilettos.


20 posted on 06/13/2010 4:53:14 PM PDT by pburgh01
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