By the child is about four years old, most parents have run out of steam with ways to enrich the daily routine *as well as* a situation where the child has peers, and the adults are focused on stimulating the children.
At this point, day care offers a *better* alternative to the kids in several ways. First and foremost it helps them make the first tentative steps to self-sufficiency away from their parents and out of the house, discovering confidence that they can do so without everything collapsing.
Next, they get a whopping big dose of stimulus from just “meet and greet” with other children. And after the initial shock, which is common, the idea that some other adults can act “in loco parentis” is an eye opener as well. They also have to figure out and explore the new place and learn its rules and differences from their home. And finally, the activities provided by a good day care are both novel and interesting compared to their familiarity with what is done at home.
Much of what happens is not obvious. For example, smells, odors, are neurologically some of our strongest and most reliable memories, and so experiencing new smells and food tastes at that age is very important. While at the same time, the senses are very acute, sensitive to harshness and easily overwhelmed. Which is why most young children don’t care for things like dill pickles.
But importantly, putting children in day care before age four may not be as beneficial, as they have very different developmental priorities at that age, and need their parents and the security of a stable home.
I’ve heard all the psychobabble about how daycare kids are more rounded than stay at home kids. Each year when we put another kid in Kindergarten they offered programs to “catch my kids up”. And each year they were amazed how far ahead my kids were - able to read and write, draw and color within lines, kind and caring, toilet trained, happy, well adjusted.
Daycare superiority is a myth proposed by the industry and government. Nothing substitutes for a family, parents and siblings.
My next article will be about single child families. I’ll want to post that one in English and Chinese.