The Lingering Stench of the Black Eyed Peas

Andrew Breibart's Big Hollywood ^ | February 7, 2011 | Greg Gutfeld

[2ndDivisionVet]

So the Super Bowl came and went like a fat, sweaty, overbearing relative – and it left a stench in the bathroom that can only be described as the Black Eyed Peas.

Yes – once again we are suffocated by the American assumption that what is lapped up by teenage girls is also lapped up by everyone else over fourteen.

This scares the Bieber out of me.

Because it’s true. We are what we eat. And last night we ate a pile of crap.

Don’t get me wrong. The Peas aren’t that awful. Beneath the autotune, the plastic surgery, the nursery rhyme lyrics and the costumes designed for incontinent robots, there exists a modicum of talent that seems almost Barbie-esque. Fergie’s voice is captivating, in a “maybe I should hire her for my bachelor party” sort of way....

[2ndDivisionVet]

Greg cracks me up.

[scott7278]

Imagining him saying it makes it even funnier.

[harpu]

Sorry...the BEP just (BLEEP’n) sucked!!

[bigbob]

That is a funny and accurate piece!

But to hear any words other than “Golll-eee!” coming out of Jim Nabor’s mouth still creeps me out.

Bring back the old farts for SuperBowl Halftime...mabye get Roger Daltrey an autotune...

[Huck]

Me too.

[Huck]

The decline of civilization is only THAT MUCH louder.

Yeah, I know I sound like a stupid old man with an swollen prostate and a tiny lawn.

LOL!!

[mamelukesabre]

why do so many people keep watching the superbowl year after year? I don’t think I’ve seen it in 5 years.

[A_perfect_lady]

I’ve never liked the Black-eyed Peas. Never got it.

[Huck]

They should get AC DC to do a half time show. They could rock the place. “For those about to rock” “Back in Black” “Thunderstruck” and “You Shook me all night long”

[libertarian27]

I watched the BEP’s half time show at a bar and this woman brought her kid (ah, the side effects of smoking bans-ugh) and they were dancing around and singing along with the songs - the rest of us were like “Huh?What’s this crap on the screen?”

We all thought the show was stupid - it reminded me of the Chinese opening of the Olympics - but way suckier.....

[Huck]

That’s a good question. On the one hand, I try not to take it too hard, but on the other hand, it does sort of haunt me—this is our life, our time to experience existence, and the most popular tv event of the entire year is a football game? Really?

[mamelukesabre]

Uh...let me see if I understand...he wants jim nabors to do THAT song for the superbowl half time show?

okey dokey.

[PghBaldy]

Greg Gutfield is a comic, or a satyr-ist.

[Army Air Corps]

But here’s my problem: over the last twenty years we’ve mistaken spectacle for entertainment – that by adding more people, lights, sound effects, explosions and fog machines – we think this camouflages banality, when it only accentuates it.

Jolly well right.

[CIDKauf]

Lynard Skynard

[MarineBrat]

The half time show would have sounded better with trained musical monkeys playing feral cats with electric razors.

[onyx]

A+ for Greg.

[Ticonderoga34]

Since the Super Bowl was in Texas, they should have got a Texas band, ZZ Top, to play at halftime.

[ThunderSleeps]

I don't particularly care for the Black Eyed Peas - had to ask a fellow football fan who they were when they came on. However, at least Fergie is relatively easy on the eyes. Yes, I went and looked up who she is. ;-)

One of the other guys was just funny as heck. I think his name is "usher" or some such. (WTF?) After his, ah, "performance" I turned to a friend and said well, at least MC Hammer's choreographer has been able to find work again. Seriously, I remember watching Hammer videos 20 years ago or so... This guy looked just like him.

[Richard Kimball]

I have a theory on this. You guys that love football. The NFL has you, and they KNOW they have you.

I first noticed this with ESPN. During a college game, they had a video of Tom Arnold, DURING A PLAY, in a little cameo in the upper left of the screen, talking about how when he wore his college jersey it made his nipples raw. I thought, "I want to see a FOOTBALL game! Why the H E double hockey sticks would I want to hear about Tom Arnold's nipples?" That's when it dawned on me that ESPN KNEW they had us football guys. They wanted to increase their demographic by appealing to (well, I still have no idea what demographic wants to hear about Tom Arnold's nipples) but you get my drift.

Why does the NFL have players wearing pink? To increase their female demographic! Over 30,000 men die of prostate cancer each year, but the NFL doesn't make players go around with an asterisk on the seat of their pants for a month to build prostate cancer awareness, even though their primary demographic is a LOT more likely to get prostate cancer than breast cancer.

Okay, for guys, halftime is to be ignored. It's time to get more food or go to the john. Sooooo.... starting years ago, the Super Bowl started booking halftime acts that couldn't possibly appeal to people who care about football. Dittos for the new urgency about "too hard hits." Do you really think the NFL cares about players? They're disposable! That's why the owners who are so concerned about injury want to add another two games to the season. Nah, they don't care about injuries, unless it's to a marquee player or if someone gets paralyzed and brings them bad publicity. The problem is, women think football is too violent. Soooo.... the NFL, which is desperately trying to improve ratings with women starts fining the snot out of these players they care so much about, and starts pitching a line that football isn't about violence, it's about making proper tackles.

So, wait for next year, when the Super Bowl halftime features, heck I don't know and don't really care, cause I didn't see the Black Eyed Peas and I haven't watched a Super Bowl halftime in about fifteen years. Didn't see Janet Jackson's boob, either. If you're a guy, just understand that halftime is for the NFL to attract people who don't like football.