Posted on 08/21/2013 11:36:20 AM PDT by NYer
FYI, ping!
Children and sex? Well if you had children that should answer that question.
fer later
We use OpenDNS on everything, Google locked safe-search, kids don’t have phones with browsing capability, not allowed to go into other kids houses or hang around unless basically sitting in front of trusted parent (and we check), etc. We’re under no misconception we can control access forever, but at least this gives us time to teach right and wrong.
SCREEEEECH! I stopped reading right there. Where were her parents to deal with this? What was done?
The thing about pornography is that it isn’t always hiding in shawdowy corners of the internet or on the pay-per-view channels on cable.
Anymore it’s being taught in public school classroms under the guise of ‘curriculum’ or else it’s hiding in plain sight on network television in the form of innuendoes and jokes on programs like “Two Broke Girls”, “2.5 Men”, and your local news.
It comes in the form of women’s maganizes that come with headlines like: “Know your G-spot!” and “Things to drive your man crazy in bed!”
And you can’t even go to Costco anymore without seeing “50 Shades of Gray” on their bookshelves.
Try avoiding it anymore. It’s impossible.
And the author is dead right that it has a corrupting influence. Just a few years ago I was contemplating having a baby without having a marriage and it seemed an acceptable idea at the time. I’d been abused at 16 just like the author and that left me damaged and given my family wasn’t all into values anyway it’s a wonder I didn’t go off the rails.
What’s funny with me is I accidentally made some good choices for the wrong reasons and it all worked out for the best.
What’s sad are the millions of people who can’t say the same.
That struck me to. And who is to know the impact of that abuse vs whatever she alleges was a result of porn.
People are curious, kids are just little people. The means are certainly there and more available now than at anytime in the past, but I didn’t find much in this article that came as a surprise or shock. We talk about it every day on FR.
I do suspect that the author still has some unresolved issues to deal with.
If you stopped there then you missed the entire point of the article.
“SCREEEEECH! I stopped reading right there. Where were her parents to deal with this? What was done?”
There’s no explanation as to what the sexual abuse was. IMHO the worst kind of abuse is the kind that other people will see as a matter of perception like inappropriate hugging.
What is ‘inappropriate hugging’?
Defining it in words is not so easy but you know it when it happens.
And then taking on a popular youth pastor means committing social suicide and any teenage girl who says she doesn’t weigh the social costs of making such charges is lying. So it ends up being easier to ignore it at the time and pretend it’s okay only to think about it years later as an adult and to see it for what it was.
“We don’t have any children yet”
****
Yet somehow she’s an expert on how to raise them. Fat chance.
I just found out about the horrors of the ask.fm website about 2 weeks ago.
Twentyfive percent of my daughters classmates (8th grade) are already on the website. The school has sent out a warning letter to all parents about it, and plan to hold some workshops on social media. The high school students are being asked perverted questions (all anonymously), Your eyes will pop out of your head, when you read/discover what is going on with this website. There have been several suicides due to cyberbullying on this website.
I left out the frequent prayers to St. Michael the Archangel for protection from evil.
The government schools have been teaching kids sex education for the last 40 years.
Planned Parenthood employees make regular visits in order to ready the students for their eventual visits for their eventual abortions.
Sexual practice is needed in order to keep all of the entities employed.
The abortion and porn industries make a lot of money from the sexual practices and the "collateral damage" or the pregnancies that result.
So, they gotta have the kids interested in masturbation and sex with as many partners as possible.
In other words, our kids are screwed.
Now that my child is grown I can look back and see not only my own mistakes as a parent, but how the mistakes my own parents made with me caused some of them. My folks were religious but narrow minded. Didn’t like me expressing any thoughts or emotions which made them uncomfortable and expected me to think as they did. They openly gave each other looks or smirks sometimes when I talked to them together. Condescending imo. The summer of my 13th birthday they caught me with a 23 year old man (local party house) and I was not able to tell them he had molested me that day, until I was 30. And then when I did lo and behold my father asked me why I let it happen, why didn’t I scream or fight and blamed me. Even after the rape, due to the way my mother had “the talk” with me prior, I thought what he did meant he “loved” me. He talked about taking me away with him and being married lol. I ended up in a serious relationship 3 years later (with someone my age) Mom used to go through my purse and one day she found birth control pills. She was upset and told me simply to throw them out right then and there. Ended up pregnant at 17. My life, was cut short and taken down a very hard road which led me to a place of deep depression and helplessness. Had I not had a baby and forced to marry I know I’d be a different person in a different place right now and I long for it sometimes. Guilty of that yes. But I suffered from verbal and emotional abuse at the hands of my husband and then my daughter. And I had nobody to help me deal with it. My mother was emotionally unavailable most of the time and I could tell she harbored animosity towards me. Getting too long I’ll end this now lol.
The problem with Google Search is a real one. I used to search there to find images for my power point presentations. No matter what word is used for searching...one can almost always see disgusting pornographic images turn up as a result.
I now use Google to search for images only as a LAST resort.
Just found out from a techy friend of mine,,,he said that when he searched his name on Google, he found google search had pulled up CHAT ROOM talk transcripts from a forum he was on from 1995 !
These kids chatting and talking perversely (many are using their full names) on ask.fm can get their conversations pulled up on a google search engine, or even directly up in a browser.
When I was pregnant with my first child, hubby and I had occasion to attend a swanky reception.
So, I purchased a swanky maternity dress. But the dress shop didn’t have anything in the way of a slip. I’m an old fashioned girl and wearing a slip with the type of dress I’d purchased was mandatory.
We didn’t have kids yet so we didn’t have any filters or safe searches on our internet connection.
So, I did a google search for
‘maternity lingerie’.
I was unable to purchase enough brain bleach to completely get over that...
Hubby still laughs and picks on me about it.
The author makes a few cogent points. The pornography that's readily available to about anyone in this day and age bears no resemblance to the "Playboy" magazines that my generation stole out of our Dad's sock drawer. It's worth keeping an eye on kids' computer time, if nothing else than to avoid inadvertent exposure.
However, to tut-tut over teenaged boys having an interest in dirty pictures, and even (gasp) masturbating, as this author does, plays to all of the worst conservative sterotypes that there are.
Jeez, just being around for your kids, spending time with them, showing interest in their interests - will elicit a whole lot better response than this authors suggestion of pointedly asking them 'Are you looking at porn?!!'. Parents don't need to be their friends, they need to be their parents...but that can be accomplished through a strong family and a whole lot of hard work.
When I was 14 and attending a public school in Corona, California this was required reading in my freshman English 1A class:
http://books.google.com/books/about/The_Wantons.html?id=btaXCkhsv_oC
I kept the book and got busted for having it in my book bag when I was in high school in Sacramento. They kept the book but excused me after I pointed out the Corona-Norco USD stamp inside the cover.
Until then I didn’t realize how bad it really was.
Seven years later I realize it was just porn.
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