Posted on 05/30/2005 8:18:34 AM PDT by carolinacrazy
UNION BEACH (AP) An off-duty police officer out for a jog fought off a sexual assault from a naked man who jumped out of the woods wearing only a condom, police said.
John Dee Kelly, 39, of Jersey City, surrendered to Union Beach police Thursday, eight days after authorities issued a warrant for his arrest on charges of attempted sexual assault and lewdness. Authorities said he works as a vice president for a New York banking corporation.
(Excerpt) Read more at wcco.com ...
I heard his best move is the "free balance transfer"
Sorry Mama, that was just stupid.
Well, at least the sexual criminal learned "safe sex" rules in school. That's all the matters, right?
Yeah, he paid close attention to the "always wear a condom" chapter, and fell asleep during the "Uses for your penis" lecture.
It's kida fun when you're sober too! Lol!
Agreed, I just tend to find my mark quicker when sober. Less beating around the bushes.
Everyone knows you don't get dick for free from a bank VP.
Thank you, thank you all.
Mama is a real hoot, isn't she?
BTW, you're welcome! For what, I don't know, but you're welcome anyway! As you from my previous post,I can't spell when I'm laughing so hard. Glad you could understand me anyway.
Well, gotta go, it's time to trim the bushes! Lol!
Calm down Dasher. They are just basically meter maids.
Oh, and they WILL ticket you a$$ For the SMALLEST infraction.
Hell, you can't even smoke on the beach there anymore.
Mrs. Fierro has a disabled parking placard, which we used to park on the Esplanade there. Those kubbie kops were all over her to provide documentation of her disability. After she provided it, I asked them, "So -- WE DISABLED ENOUGH?"
Capitola is a pretty town that is rapidly getting f***ked up.
Oh, Skooz, I am so proud of you!!!!
Thank you, thank you.
I would also like to thank Diana Rigg as Emma Peele who showed me, as an 8 year-old boy, that I am a man.
The stench from Santa Cruz is moving into Capitola.
Too bad - it's beautiful!
Dasher
Got wood?
You didn't "experiment", did you?
Confused? I guess it was rather confusing, at first.
I didn't know why watching Emma Peel wearing a tight leather catsuit while beating the crap out of bad guys caused that strange reaction.
Experiment? I plead the 5th.
It wasn't Thag!!!
Jim Robinson on the left (Jim runs FR btw)
The quad squad of Capitola are fully capable of writing parking tickets, they are not there to chase burglars down the street...Capitola has other police officers for that.
This is a 30 year old program, pre-ADA (President Bush signed the ADA law on July 26, 1990), and is not a liberal/conservative issue...I don't think that when you get old and crippled, you will automatically become a democrat....will you DD?
Also, get "affirmative action" nomenclature correct....go google it and become educated.
Mind you, I am not a PC totin' ACLU lovin' liberal demoncat weasel....I just don't want conservatism associated with cold-hearted, un-compassionate, brainless attitiudes like you just promulgated with your post. Conservatives are the thinking species (contrary to what NPR says), and I expect that you will join us with your next post.
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