Man accused of hiding lobster in pants

The Courier Mail (Australia) ^ | February 15, 2006

[Shermy]

THERE aren't too many people who could get away with hiding a whole lobster down the front of their pants.

Craig Simpson gave it a red hot go, but ended up in handcuffs in the Brisbane Magistrate's Court yesterday.

As well as the lobster, the 35-year-old from East Brisbane crammed 1kg of prawns down the front of his trousers at an inner-city supermarket on Monday.

He was charged with unauthorised dealing with shop goods after he was seen stuffing the crustaceans into his pants before walking out of the store without paying for them.

Prosecutor Sergeant Henri Rantala said police approached Simpson who told them if he had had bigger pockets, he would have stolen more.

Sgt Rantala asked that Simpson be ordered to repay the cost of the prawns and the lobster - neither of which could be returned to the store's shelves.

Simpson represented himself in court where he pleaded guilty to the charge.

Magistrate Jacqui Payne ordered Simpson to pay the supermarket $35 for the seafood, and fined him $250.

[Shermy]

.

[Uncledave]

I'm accused of this everyday just walking around.

[Xenalyte]

Salacious Ping List ping!

[Semper Paratus]

"Shrimp on the Privys"

[NewRomeTacitus]

...or are you just happy to sea me?

[GSWarrior]

Even tho I think he's only a prawn in a much larger scheme, he should be locked away in a dungeness somewhere.

[HEY4QDEMS]

Ok lets get this out of the way right now

Is that a lobster in your pants or are you just blah blah blah blah blah.

[tractorman]

Q. What's worse than a lobster on your piano?

A. A crab on your organ.

[Mike Bates]

How'd you miss this? You got a lotta 'splainin' to do, young lady.

[GLDNGUN]

I'm accused of this everyday just walking around.

LOL. How about this for a headline...

MAN THOUGHT TO HAVE LOBSTER IN PANTS TURNED OUT TO ONLY HAVE CRABS.

[cripplecreek]

I'm reminded of a line from an old ZZTop song.

"Just got paid today, got me a pocket full of prawns"

[bwteim]

claw-enforcement needs to be called in

[weegee]

[TC Rider]

Simpson?

[Argh]

I can't remember the last time I had a big red thing in my pants.

[freeperfromnj]

Checking in for Sandy Berger jokes....

[G.Mason]

"I'm accused of this everyday just walking around."

Uncle Dave!

I'm tellin Ma.

Bwahahahahahahahahaha

[andy58-in-nh]

Mr. Simpson may have to change his first name to Claude.

[COUNTrecount]

..Simpson who told them if he had had bigger pockets, he would have stolen more.

He could hide this if he had Teddy K's panties.