[Xenophobic Alien]

The Shopping Game!

Here's the deal:

you must come up with any four items that could be found at a store like, say, Fred Meyer. (This is a store that has a wide variety of groceries, but also has sporting goods, cosmetics, electronic equipment, clothing, etc. You get the idea.) The point is that the four items be innocuous in and of themselves, but in combination would completely freak out the checkout clerk, or at least make him/her wonder what in the hell you've got planned for the evening.

Birthday card.

Brownie mix.

Chocolate ex-lax.

Video camera.

[Rummyfan]

Let the OFST begin!!!!!

[Xenophobic Alien]

Live goldfish

a blender

plastic cups

vodka

[Red Badger]

Box of condoms

Battery Operated Electric drill

10 Packs of Hot Dogs

Box of Kleenex.........

[theDentist]

A Don Ho CD. Saran wrap. An Enema kit. Road Flares.

[Izzy Dunne]

• 100-pack of Trojans.
• four large watermelons.
• 1 copy of "Partying for Dummies".
• Two rolls of aluminum foil.

[Toby06]

Duct tape
handcuffs
paper towels
extra large trash bags

[Auntbee]

Chocolate syrup
Vaseline
Tarp
Neon paint

[Egon]

• Bouquet of flowers
• Bottle of Wine
• Rat poison
• Shovel

[Izzy Dunne]

• Maxipads.
• Chocolate syrup.
• Clear packing tape.
• 8 Rolls of film.

[Sax]

Reciprocating saw

Latex gloves

Gauze

Medical tape

[day10]

Good morning! Happy Friday!

Little Johnny's neighbors had a new baby. Unfortunately, the baby was
born without ears. When the mother brought the new baby home from the
hospital, Little Johnny's family was invited over to see him.

Before they left their house, Little Johnny's dad had a talk with him
and explained that the baby had no ears. His dad also told him that if
he so much as mentioned anything about the baby's
missing ears or even said the word, "ears", he would get the spanking of
his life when they came back home. Little Johnny told his dad he
understood completely.

When Little Johnny looked into the crib he said,
"What a beautiful baby."

The mother said, "Why, thank you, Little Johnny."

Little Johnny said, "He has beautiful little feet
and beautiful little hands, a cute little nose and really beautiful eyes.
Can he see?" asked Little Johnny.

"Yes" , the mother replied, "we are so thankful.
The doctor said he will have 20/20 vision."

"That's great", said Little Johnny, "cuz he'd be
s*^t outta luck if he needed glasses."

[Chanticleer]

dog-training shock collar

leather belt

clothes hangers

The book All Your Kindergartner Needs to Know

[Sax]

Bird feeder
Bird seed
Bird shot
Shake & Bake

[Hoodlum91]

Everyone's list is great!

I'm too asleep yet to figure out mine.

[RabidBartender]

First time on one of these threads...I'll try (to freak out the cashier).

An empty pinata

A baseball bat

A bottle of Cuervo

2 dozen white mice (or gerbils/hamsters)

[reagan_fanatic]

1 Cucumber.

1 box xtra-large condoms.

1 bottle K-Y warming lotion.

1 Barney DVD.

[MacDorcha]

Vaseline

Condoms

Cans of dog food

A nature video

[Dallas59]

12 packs of D batteries

12 Packs of panties

12 Gold fish

12 Small jars of Vaseline

12 Bananas

12 Tombstone Pizzas

1 Disposable camera

[RockinRight]

Chocolate syrup

Stainless steel chain, 4'

Duct Tape

Marvin Gaye CD

[Lazamataz]

you must come up with any four items that could be found at a store like, say, Fred Meyer. (This is a store that has a wide variety of groceries, but also has sporting goods, cosmetics, electronic equipment, clothing, etc. You get the idea.) The point is that the four items be innocuous in and of themselves, but in combination would completely freak out the checkout clerk, or at least make him/her wonder what in the hell you've got planned for the evening.

• Lighter.
• Road flares.
• Sexual lubricant, preferably anal in nature.
• Dog treats.