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Working With Idiots Can Kill You
World Weekly News ^ | March 19, 2004 | Kate McClare

Posted on 08/13/2006 5:29:07 PM PDT by M. Peach

STOCKHOLM -- Idiots in the office are just as hazardous to your health as cigarettes, caffeine or greasy food, an eye-opening new study reveals. In fact, those dopes can kill you!

Stress is one of the top causes of heart attacks -- and working with stupid people on a daily basis is one of the deadliest forms of stress, according to researchers at Sweden's Lindbergh University Medical Center.

The author of the study, Dr. Dagmar Andersson, says her team studied 500 heart attack patients, and were puzzled to find 62 percent had relatively few of the physical risk factors commonly blamed for heart attacks.

"Then we questioned them about lifestyle habits, and almost all of these low-risk patients told us they worked with people so stupid they can barely find their way from the parking lot to their office. And their heart attack came less than 12 hours after having a major confrontation with one of these oafs.

"One woman had to be rushed to the hospital after her assistant shredded important company tax documents instead of copying them. A man told us he collapsed right at his desk because the woman at the next cubicle kept asking him for correction fluid -- for her computer monitor.

"You can cut back on smoking or improve your diet," Dr. Andersson says, "but most people have very poor coping skills when it comes to stupidity -- they feel there's nothing they can do about it, so they just internalize their frustration until they finally explode."

Stupid co-workers can also double or triple someone's work load, she explains. "Many of our subjects feel sorry for the drooling idiots they work with, so they try to cover for them by fixing their mistakes. One poor woman spent a week rebuilding client records because a clerk put them all in the 'recycle bin' of her computer and then emptied it -- she thought it meant the records would be recycled and used again."


TOPICS: Health/Medicine; Science
KEYWORDS: braindead; dorks; health; idiots; idiotsatwork; idiotswork; kerryvoters; management; morons; stupid; stupidpeople; stupidworkers; work; workplaceidiots
Stress caused by dim-witted co-workers may give you a fatal heart attack!
1 posted on 08/13/2006 5:29:08 PM PDT by M. Peach
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To: M. Peach
I want to know how they measure this. Everyone I know thinks they are smarter than their idiot co-workers. Even my idiot co-workers.
2 posted on 08/13/2006 5:30:59 PM PDT by pollyannaish
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To: M. Peach
Working With Idiots Can Kill You

Not if you kill them first.

3 posted on 08/13/2006 5:31:44 PM PDT by RichInOC (...oops, did I say that out loud? Bad Rich. BAD Rich.)
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To: pollyannaish
All of us have our moments of dimness but occasionally you have someone in your office who's moments occur with alarming frequency.
4 posted on 08/13/2006 5:33:59 PM PDT by Harmless Teddy Bear (A propensity to hope and joy is real riches; one to fear and sorrow, real poverty)
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To: M. Peach

Another stupid research project. The stress of dealing with others in omnipresent. Coworkers, neighbors, the public, people in the media, etc., etc.


5 posted on 08/13/2006 5:34:05 PM PDT by A knight without armor
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To: M. Peach

A big AMEN to this one. But raising teenagers will do the same thing.


6 posted on 08/13/2006 5:34:19 PM PDT by winodog (Who will stop Bubba and the Beast in 08?)
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To: RichInOC
Not that was funny.

L

7 posted on 08/13/2006 5:34:23 PM PDT by Lurker (I support Israel without reservation. Hizbollah must be destroyed to the last man.)
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To: M. Peach
stress =s death.......... stupid =s life
As I call some of my co workers idiots I'm sure the call me the same, while we all smile at one another........
AHHH Life can't live without it
8 posted on 08/13/2006 5:34:31 PM PDT by Gone_Postal (government big enough to give you everything you want is a government big enough to take it away)
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To: M. Peach

I quit a job in a bindery once because of the crack addicts working there. The owner was afraid he would be called a racist if he fired them.

Anyone who has ever worked with paper trimmers knows that they're dangerous enough without crackheads playing dangerous games while you're trying to operate the machines.


9 posted on 08/13/2006 5:34:38 PM PDT by cripplecreek (If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?)
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To: pollyannaish
I'm sure it's very scientific. /sarc
10 posted on 08/13/2006 5:34:40 PM PDT by kinoxi
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To: M. Peach
...because she thought it meant the records would be recycled and used again.

This is partly Micro$oft's fault for embracing political correctness. There is a way (obviously requiring lightyears more intelligence than these poor folks possess) to rename it to "Trash" or "Garbage" and apply it to every user profile.

11 posted on 08/13/2006 5:35:31 PM PDT by Lexinom
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To: M. Peach
Demoncrats can do the same.

They fit the description to a "t".
12 posted on 08/13/2006 5:37:37 PM PDT by nmh (Intelligent people recognize Intelligent Design (God) .)
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To: M. Peach
FWIW, the people I work WITH are the best but the people we work FOR deserve to be fired..........
13 posted on 08/13/2006 5:38:07 PM PDT by Hot Tabasco (Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors - and miss.)
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To: Harmless Teddy Bear

Yes. That's why firing was invented.

It saves on Insurance costs.


14 posted on 08/13/2006 5:38:36 PM PDT by pollyannaish
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To: kinoxi

I think so, after all it was in the Weekly World News. ; )


15 posted on 08/13/2006 5:40:17 PM PDT by pollyannaish
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To: M. Peach
A man told us he collapsed right at his desk because the woman at the next cubicle kept asking him for correction fluid -- for her computer monitor.

HA HA HA HA HA! I'm going to have to remember this one!

16 posted on 08/13/2006 5:40:57 PM PDT by proudofthesouth (Mao said that power comes at the point of a rifle; I say FREEDOM does.)
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To: M. Peach

An accountant in Passamaquoddy had a coronary when a secretary said she believed a story written in the Weekly World News.


17 posted on 08/13/2006 5:42:37 PM PDT by avg_freeper (Gunga galunga. Gunga, gunga galunga)
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To: M. Peach

I work in an office of 12 people. There are no divas...but a new employee had to put toner in the copier...I showed her how. She shook toner all over the wall, all over the copier, all over the floor.

The next day she said to me, "It is totally inappropriate for me to be dealing with the copier."

HUH?


18 posted on 08/13/2006 5:42:50 PM PDT by sweet melissa
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To: M. Peach

These people don't realize that stupid coworkers are there to entertain you. For example, see if you really can get your PHB to try to re-boot his laptop by holding it upside-down over his head and shaking it.


19 posted on 08/13/2006 5:46:19 PM PDT by Redcloak (Speak softly and wear a loud shirt.)
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To: M. Peach
Several years ago I would have laughed at this article, but in my latest position, I work with some of the most incompetent people within my business field I have ever worked with.

I was lured, by the V.P. that I would make the difference in the operation and be running it within one year as he weeded out the nincompoops he inherited, when he hired on. He left six months after he hired me, because he couldn't get the owners to make moves on friends that they had running the operation, basically working part-time while getting a full time salary

It is the absolutely most frustrating thing I have ever had to endure.

I almost hate having to go to work on Mondays knowing I will have to straighten out, correct, redo almost everything that will happen tomorrow.

BTW, I'm looking to get out ASAP.

20 posted on 08/13/2006 5:47:16 PM PDT by Popman ("What I was doing wasn't living, it was dying. I really think God had better plans for me.")
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To: M. Peach

Too bad this isn't real. Back in typewriter days, mine was on the fritz and I hand-wrote a note to a client bigwig, gave it to my secretary to type it and said to send it to Mr. Bigwig. She did.

When I asked the next day why I hadn't gotten the letter to sign, she said she had already sent it. I asked if she signed my name to it, she said no. I asked why not. She said I had already initialed it. What? I never saw it. She said "You wrote it." What?

Turns out I hadn't TOLD HER to TYPE the letter. She sent the marked-out, messed-up, doodled-on draft.


21 posted on 08/13/2006 5:47:47 PM PDT by Rte66
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To: M. Peach

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.
The reason:
"Too many deer are being hit by cars out here!
I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
From Kingman, KS.
______________________________________________________

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
He was a Chef?
Yep...From Kansas City!
____________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, !
"Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.
_______________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when its safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine.
She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for.
I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS
___________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.
She was leaving the company due to "downsizing."
Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often."
Not another word was spoken.
We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.
________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her own life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.
A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office no less.
____________________________________________________

IDIOT SIGHTING:

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!"
His reply, "I know - I already got that side."
This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!
_______________________________________________________

STAY ALERT!

They walk among us ... and they REPRODUCE







22 posted on 08/13/2006 5:49:58 PM PDT by digger48
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To: M. Peach

I need to win the lottery.


23 posted on 08/13/2006 5:50:59 PM PDT by Dallas59 (WHAT THE HELL ARE MUSLIMS DOING IN AMERICA???)
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To: Popman

When I was working in meeting planning, my co-worker had the audacity to work the meeting with house slippers on.

What a corker! I almost died.


24 posted on 08/13/2006 5:51:59 PM PDT by sweet melissa
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To: M. Peach

It's not the gun that kills, and It's never the question that's stupid.


25 posted on 08/13/2006 5:53:00 PM PDT by Dixie Yooper (Ephesians 6:11)
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To: digger48

funny stuff.


26 posted on 08/13/2006 5:57:07 PM PDT by sweet melissa
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To: sweet melissa
I understand completely.

We have about two dozen sales and service people I was trying to upgrade their appearance.

I got the GSM to sign off on modest policy standards for appearance, he comes in the next day with Jeans and no socks .

Then he actually has the audacity to ask me why nobody is adhering to the new policy!!!

27 posted on 08/13/2006 6:00:56 PM PDT by Popman ("What I was doing wasn't living, it was dying. I really think God had better plans for me.")
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To: M. Peach


28 posted on 08/13/2006 6:01:12 PM PDT by Dumpster Baby ("Hope somebody finds me before the rats do .....")
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To: sweet melissa
She shook toner all over the wall, all over the copier, all over the floor.

Nice! I think I have you beat though. I had a girl in the cube next to me a few years ago ask me if she needed extra postage for one envelope to send to New Mexico.

I'm not even kidding you!

29 posted on 08/13/2006 6:06:09 PM PDT by MotleyGirl70 (Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically GRRREAT!)
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To: M. Peach

Well, here's the antidote: rack your memory - most everyone you ever knew who died was a decent person, right? From here it necessarily follows that the scoundrels, of whom the world is full, live either forever or at least very long. When a stinker finally dies, his/her long anticipated demise etches itself into the memory of mankind and becomes a cause for celebrations [see Castro]. But such events are rare. Hence, by becoming a died-in-the-wool bastard [if one is not one such already] one could dramatically prolong one's life.


30 posted on 08/13/2006 6:07:32 PM PDT by GSlob
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To: Popman

this particular co-worker used to eat chicken at her desk...and the smell of the chicken would send me...out of the zone I needed to get my work done


31 posted on 08/13/2006 6:08:03 PM PDT by sweet melissa
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To: Cagey; Larry Lucido

Ping!


32 posted on 08/13/2006 6:08:46 PM PDT by MotleyGirl70 (Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically GRRREAT!)
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To: digger48

I went into KFC and ordered an 18 piece nuggets.

The clerk, straightfaced said " we only have 3, 6, 12, and 15 piece nuggets".

Well, playing the straight man, I said Which is cheaper a 15 piece and a 3 piece, or 3 -6 pieces"

She said "I don't know", and called the manager...

Now I have the fish nibbling on the bait, so I asked "While I'm at it, how much is a 12 and a 6 piece".

The manager couldn't figure it out, so turned to the clerk and said" just charge him for 15 pieces".

Keeping it going as long as possible, I said" If you charged me for a 12 and a 3, while giving me 18, is that any cheaper?"

The guy behind me was laughing so hard I thought he was going to have a heart attack (how is that for getting back on subject?)


33 posted on 08/13/2006 6:25:56 PM PDT by Lokibob (Spelling and typos are copyrighted. Please do not use.)
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To: MotleyGirl70

These guys are stupid....so they can't understand how to turn on the postage meter? Ah, turn the key, maybe?


34 posted on 08/13/2006 6:31:45 PM PDT by sweet melissa
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To: Lokibob
Priceless! :)


35 posted on 08/13/2006 6:32:52 PM PDT by MotleyGirl70 (Frosted Lucky Charms, they're magically GRRREAT!)
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To: M. Peach

I've worked some pretty bad jobs.

Had a customer come into a store I was working at ask for cigarettes. I I sold her one pack. She then told me she had asked for two. As I rang her up she complained snottily,"now I'll have to pay sales tax again".


At an automotive shop a co-worker was beating the hell out of the hinge pins on the tailgate of a dumptruck. I went over, lowered the tailgate, tapped the pin gently out and as I walked back to my project he raised the tailgate back up and began beating the hell out of the next pin.

A busboy at a restraunt I was working at decided that it would be easier to clean the meat slicer if he turned it on .



36 posted on 08/13/2006 6:59:11 PM PDT by bad company (When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for FReeper kanawa)
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To: M. Peach

Found some more;

There is the old saying that truth is stranger than fiction. How true this is when you realize that some of the dumb things people do, that even a gagman writer for our professional comedians couldn't think some of these up. Here are true stories about some of the dumbest things that people did in the year 2003. All of these people should be required to wear an "IDIOT" sign on their chests when they go out and about in public!


Idiot No. 1 -In Atlanta, a medical student was doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. This woman called in very upset, because she caught her little daughter eating ants. The medical student quickly reassured that the ants are not harmful, and there would be no need to bring daughter into the hospital. As she calmed down at the end of the conversation, she just happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. She was told that she had better bring her daughter into the Emergency room right away. {Here's your sign lady! Wear it with pride}.


Idiots No. 2 -In Seattle, it seems that last year, some of Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747's. They were actually successful in getting it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river, a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing. {Here's your sign guys. Don't get it wet, the paint might run}.


Idiot No. 3 -In San Francisco, a man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch and wrote, "this is a stick up. Put all your money in this bag." While standing in line, waiting, he began to worry that someone had seen him write the note and would notify the police before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America and crossed the street to Wells Fargo. After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling errors that he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, she told him that she could not accept his stickup note, because it was written on a Bank of America deposit slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip or go back to Bank of America. Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested a few minutes later as he was waiting in line back at the Bank of America. {Don't bother with this guy's sign. He probably couldn't read it}.


Idiot No. 4 -A motorist was unknowingly caught in a Chicago automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $40.00 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $40.00. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.00 fine. {Another sign, although, this guy might be onto something worth thinking about!}


Idiot No. 5 -In New York City a guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash a bag, the robber saw a bottle of single malt scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21-years old." The robber said he was, but the clerk still refused to give the liquor to him because he didn't believe him. At this point, the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over and agreed that the man was in fact over 21 years old, and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the name and address of the robber that he got off the license. The robber was arrested two hours later. {Folks, remind me to have more signs printed up after we give this guy his!}


Idiot No. 6 -A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Don't anybody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him! {This guy doesn't need a sign, he probably figured it out himself}.


Idiot No. 7 -It seems this guy in Arkansas wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. It seems the liquor store window was made of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape. {Oh, that smarts. Give him his sign}!


Idiot No. 8 -In Ann Arbor, Michigan, The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down, because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away.


Idiot No. 9 -Now I really like this one! As a female shopper exited a Baltimore convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give the police a detailed description of the purse-snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. The thief was taken back to the store and taken out of the police car and told to stand there so they could get a positive identification. To which the thief replied, "Yes sir officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from!" {Now this guy has his own number on his sign}. Please note folks, that these people are allowed to vote!


37 posted on 08/13/2006 7:18:41 PM PDT by bad company (When Chuck Norris goes to bed at night, he checks his closet for FReeper kanawa)
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To: A knight without armor
Another stupid research project.

True, but at least we didn't have to pay for this one!

38 posted on 08/13/2006 9:32:25 PM PDT by IIntense
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To: M. Peach
It is true that an idiot in action can try my patience. It raises my blood pressure exponentialy more when THEY insisit on scolding and correcting ME.

I was recently learning the ropes of college financial aid. So far all paperwork was to be turned in to the F.A. office, but at the moment I was looking at a student loan form. It began to dawn on me that I would submit this form directly to a lender rather than through the FA office.

Me: "Ohhh... so I take this to my own financial institution?"
Woman behined desk, in a stern scolding tone of voice: "NO... you take it to your bank."

39 posted on 08/14/2006 12:15:30 AM PDT by WireAndWood (DNC: if it weren't for groupthink we'd have no think at all.)
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To: Lexinom

'recycle bin' of her computer and then emptied it -- she thought it meant the records would be recycled and used again."


I couldn't agree more. Recycle is just bad terminology for the 'literalists' among us...


40 posted on 08/14/2006 7:43:30 AM PDT by Paisan
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To: M. Peach

"Stress is one of the top causes of heart attacks -- and working with stupid people on a daily basis is one of the deadliest forms of stress, according to researchers at Sweden's Lindbergh University Medical Center."

The Solution:

Stop classifying them as idiots, and realize
their words and behaviors are meaningless...


41 posted on 08/14/2006 10:59:41 AM PDT by Mrs. Darla Ruth Schwerin
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To: Paisan
Apple Computer, on the Apple IIGS GS/OS desktop, as well as on the Mac, called it "Trash." The icon was a metal garbage can; there was no doubt about its function.

I'm not a Mac user so don't know if they still use that term.

42 posted on 08/14/2006 12:56:02 PM PDT by Lexinom
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To: Lokibob
They can't speak the language around here. Now you want math. Good one.
43 posted on 08/14/2006 12:58:39 PM PDT by bmwcyle (Only stupid people would vote for McCain, Warner, Hagle, Snowe, Graham, or any RINO)
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To: Apple Blossom

ping


44 posted on 08/14/2006 12:59:21 PM PDT by bmwcyle (Only stupid people would vote for McCain, Warner, Hagle, Snowe, Graham, or any RINO)
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To: Vic3O3; cavtrooper21

Guess I'd better up my life insurance policy!

I wonder what would happen should I copy this article and use it to wallpaper the walls around here?

Semper Fi


45 posted on 08/14/2006 5:54:44 PM PDT by dd5339 (A sheepdog, a warrior, someone who is walking the hero's path.)
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To: digger48

ping


46 posted on 08/14/2006 6:04:40 PM PDT by Truth is a Weapon (Truth, it hurts soooo good!)
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To: digger48
"I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked,
'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?'
To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?'
He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, Ala."

Have to call on this one. The guy behind the counter is required to ask this asinine question. He is aware of its asininity, hence the knowing smile.

The boob who came up with the requirement - HE'S the idiot.
47 posted on 08/14/2006 6:14:17 PM PDT by decal (Different Tagline Tomorrow!)
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To: dd5339; Vic3O3

Oh yea!
Work with a bunch of well meaning but hopeless idiots. My Senior Lab Tech and I are well beyond the "stunned speachless" stage.
SOHHLC
(sound of head hitting lab counter)


48 posted on 08/15/2006 6:35:37 AM PDT by cavtrooper21 (So many bodies... and the backhoe is out of gas.)
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