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Man mistakes straw bale for stricken woman, gives it CPR
Island Packet ^

Posted on 06/27/2007 5:59:26 AM PDT by SmoothTalker

"A Hilton Head Island man confused bales of pine straw with a dead woman, and tried to resuscitate them early Tuesday morning, according to a sheriff's report.

The 39-year-old called deputies to the parking lot of Hilton Head Cabanas, 32 South Forest Beach Drive, at 1:49 a.m., saying he had just tried to perform CPR on a dead woman, according to the sheriff's report."

"They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw."

" Deputies think the man had been drinking. The report says he thought Tuesday was Halloween and he had two empty bottles of bourbon inside his home."

(Excerpt) Read more at islandpacket.com ...


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KEYWORDS: rollinthehay
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To: PBRSTREETGANG

lol!!


41 posted on 06/27/2007 8:34:10 AM PDT by Osage Orange (Political Correctness...is Intellectual Fascism)
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To: SmoothTalker
Reminds me of an old Steeley Dan song:

"Drink Scotch whiskey, all night long, and die behind the wheel."

42 posted on 06/27/2007 8:35:51 AM PDT by CholeraJoe (July 11, 2007. The Rebellion begins!)
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To: SmoothTalker

Better check to see if he feed his wife to the cows.


43 posted on 06/27/2007 8:41:16 AM PDT by ThomasThomas
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To: stylecouncilor

ping


44 posted on 06/27/2007 8:44:15 AM PDT by windcliff
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To: SmoothTalker
" Deputies think the man had been drinking.

At least.

45 posted on 06/27/2007 8:45:51 AM PDT by metmom (Welfare was never meant to be a career choice.)
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To: SmoothTalker

He hit on me the last time, keep him away!

46 posted on 06/27/2007 8:54:35 AM PDT by xJones
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To: SmoothTalker

“They arrived to find him talking to a large bale of pine straw.”....Hells Bells!...Just maybe the bale had something interesting to say!


47 posted on 06/27/2007 9:14:33 AM PDT by AngelesCrestHighway
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To: Slings and Arrows
When you are that intoxicated you’re supposed to “Hit the hay” not Hit ON the hay!!!!

8^)

48 posted on 06/27/2007 10:06:21 AM PDT by The SISU kid (Imagination saved us from extinction)
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To: Slings and Arrows
The last straw lady he met in NO had a bit more to offer. No one should blame the poor bloke.


49 posted on 06/27/2007 11:04:32 AM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: From One - Many; SmoothTalker
Strange, strange things happen in the woods at night ... that's why I'm not surprised.


50 posted on 06/27/2007 11:07:58 AM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: Inge_CAV

51 posted on 06/27/2007 11:11:53 AM PDT by Daffynition (Label Warning: Formerly known as "rainbow sprinkles")
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To: upchuck

Embarrassed that we live in SC ping :)

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

No need to be, this guy was in Hilton Head, I don’t think that actually qualifies as being in South Carolina!


52 posted on 06/27/2007 12:31:18 PM PDT by RipSawyer (Does anybody still believe this is a free country?)
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To: SmoothTalker; dighton; aculeus; general_re; L,TOWM; Constitution Day; hellinahandcart
Quit making fun of this poor man ...

Uh ... when I was a plebe at the Naval Academy, back in 1972, one of the required sports for training during Plebe Year was boxing. Every plebe was required to participate in a four-week course, three times a week, of the Manly-Arts.

Anyway, I have something approximating 20/infinity vision, which is to say that, without my glasses, if I squint, I can just make out the end of my nose. So, when I stepped into the ring for the first time with my glasses on, the coach told me to take them off. Reluctantly, I did so, but I figured that all I had to do was look for a moving object and swing at it.

I was really getting into it, giving as good as I got, when, about halfway through the second of three rounds, I got clocked pretty badly on the side of my head and spun around. I didn't go down, but I was pretty disoriented.

When I cleared my head, I saw my opponent just standing there, so I approached and started laying on a flurry of lefts-and-rights, bobbing and weaving to avoid being struck in return. I was making good solid connections and not being hit at all by any counterpunches.

I thought I was doing pretty well until the bell rang and the coach tapped me on the shoulder and handed me my glasses.

I had spent the last half of the second round viciously abusing the turnbuckles in the corner.

Needless to say, it didn't take too long to get around the rest of the Plebe class and I was called "Eagle Eye" until Youngster Cruise.

53 posted on 06/27/2007 2:40:38 PM PDT by BlueLancer (Der Elite Møøsënspåånkængrüppen ØberKømmändø (EMØØK))
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To: BlueLancer; SmoothTalker; dighton; general_re; L,TOWM; Constitution Day; hellinahandcart
Some sober people have mistaken trees for aliens.
54 posted on 06/27/2007 3:00:29 PM PDT by aculeus
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To: SmoothTalker

Two drunks were sitting in a bar, when a bale of straw walked in, gasping and clutching her chest....


55 posted on 06/27/2007 8:37:00 PM PDT by ApplegateRanch (Islam: a Satanically Transmitted Disease, spread by unprotected intimate contact with the Koranus.)
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To: SmoothTalker

Don’t laugh. My last ex-wife came to occasionally resemble a bale of pine straw.


56 posted on 06/28/2007 7:57:31 PM PDT by elkfersupper
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To: elkfersupper
LOL! Why am I NOT surprised that you have more than one EX-wife!
57 posted on 06/29/2007 10:55:50 AM PDT by Ditter
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