Posted on 04/26/2008 8:41:28 PM PDT by 5tealth
The modernized America we know today is largely dominated by suburbs, the perfect mix of city and ranch, commonly on the outskirts of cities. Its not the stacked to Timbuktu apartments like in New York, Kansas City, and Chicago, but its not the "home on the range" sort of thing. We know the modern suburb as nicely assorted houses, separated by lush, thick, dark green lawns, that are neatly cut every weekend. We know them with the smell of barbeque every Sunday after the residents have come home from Church. Its these modern American paradises that house the factory-workers, the office workers, and the firemen. Policemen, doctors, and all of the other professions kids dream of being while they're in kindergarten and pre-school. Behind these excellently spaced houses owned individually by the owner, are squares of perfectly assorted segments of land that comes with the housing, commonly known as "the backyard". Next to the housing unit in the "backyard" is a nicely squared, nicely placed wooden or concrete patio, complete with chalk left out by the kids with a hop-scotch playing field drawn, and a common circular grill which is commonly used by the father of a family, as I mentioned every Sunday after Church.
The lawn is a precisely cut piece of work, that gives the housing unit (front yard, home, and backyard) a farm-like feel, because it gives the father (and sons sometimes) of the typical suburban family something to do on Sundays while all the stores around their paradise are closed. The main crop of this farm is grass, which comes in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Complete with all-natural weeds that give the residents something to get worried over. The common kinds of grass on their lawns are Mixtures. The other kind is Blends. HowStuffWorks writes, "Mixtures are combinations of different types of grass. The various species all have different strengths and weaknesses, so collectively they hold up to just about anything. Blends are combinations of different varieties of the same type of grass. Blends are not as adaptable as mixtures, but they are generally more attractive because of their uniformity." Its these facts that the residents of the suburban paradise have to keep in mind while selecting their grass seed about every year.
The grill is located in the backyard usually on the patio. It gives the father some way to cook while the mother kicks him out of the kitchen. Or a reason to invite all of his other suburban friends over to have whats called a "Barbeque". Barbeque is the type of food they usually produce from this ritual, along with hotdogs and some hamburgers. The grill is usually spherical and opens up around the middle, revealing a floor with metal bars at about the middle of the sphere. Under which you put charcoal to cook the food. Some grills are cyndrical but work in the same common way.
This all things we commonly expect about the Suburb. But many things have changed since the '50s when this would have been taking place. For one thing, stores are all open on Sundays, so barbeques don't really take place. And the teenage punky emo kid who listens to all sorts of loud music and is out drinking and driving at the same time. The common lawn is left unattended a lot, and grows out of proportion. A communistic "Home Owners Association" has formed in almost every modern suburb community, and tries to control it's residents with unlawful power and driven by it's great corruption, it usually succeeds in doing so. Commonly in 21 century suburbs of today, BB Guns are prohibited outside houses. That means kids resort to rap and sagging their pants down and turn their hats sideways and play basketball. JUST LOOK OUTSIDE! Almost every house that has a kid inside of it has a basketball goal outside. Theres nothing wrong with basketball, its just the kinds of people who support it now. Rappers, gangsters, and the regular homie that comes from the "ghetto", or the neglected suburb developed in the late '60s.
Face it guys, the suburb needs some serious revival medicine. It used to be a paradise, and now its a hell.
What does that song go...”We’re from the country, and we like it that way!”
If that makes me a snob, so be it. I knew before I closed on my property what restrictions I would be facing. I agreed to the terms, and I'm satisfied.
Great fight you had today! Congrats!
You just recently joined to post this?
Given my choice, I'd live out in BFE, but if I have to be around other people I'll take a city neighborhood where I'm within half a mile of dozens of unique stores and restaurants and no one will say anything about it if I park a commercial truck in my driveway and I can paint my house or landscape my property any way I please.
Prediction: inner city dwellings hold value while many 'burb homes go vacant. People will seek residences nearer their jobs and other ammenities, and by cutting the commute- give themselves a 'raise'. The 'commute' factor will be as much a part of a moving decision as how many bathrooms in the home.
“Another Pleasant Valley Sunday”
(The Monkees)
The local rock group down the street
Is trying hard to learn their song
Serenade the weekend squire, who just came out to mow his lawn
Another pleasant valley Sunday
Charcoal burning everywhere
Rows of houses that are all the same
And no one seems to care
See Mrs. Gray, she’s proud today because her roses are in bloom
Mr. Green, he’s so serene, he’s got a t.v. in every room
Another pleasant valley Sunday
Here in status symbol land
Mothers complain about how hard life is
And the kids just don’t understand
Creature comfort goals
They only numb my soul and make it hard for me to see
My thoughts all seem to stray, to places far away
I need a change of scenery
Ta ta ta...
Another pleasant valley Sunday
Charcoal burning everywhere
Another pleasant valley Sunday
Here in status symbol land
Another pleasant valley Sunday...
After three or four instances in the first couple of sentences of “it is” being spelled as “its,” which I guess I have to point out is incorrect, I couldn’t keep reading. Sorry.
It was a good fight. Franzen got a hat trick today as well. Last Red Wing to do that in the playoff was my “namesake” against who else - the Avalanche.
Counterpoint to that - a lot of the jobs are now in the suburbs and not the cities.
We moved in, we cleaned out our island and plant beds and put in flowers, cut the lawn, and basically made our yard look great. Within a year, everyone up and down the street followed suit and had a nice looking lawn with flowerbeds.
Needless to say, I love where I live in suburbia. Crime? Huh? My little city sandwiched between two larger ones is patrolled by the same two St. Louis County Cops five days a week. They know the residents of the city, they know who belongs and who doesn't. When they see some possible riff-raff move in, they make their presence known and make them know that they will brook no crap.
Gas prices and driving anywhere? I have a full fledged grocery store within walking distance. I have a Walgreens and Petco within walking distance. I have a Lowes AND a Home Depot within walking distance. I have all the amenities I need within walking distance. So don't give me that crap about living in "the city" is better. Aint' no way I would live in a city environment as I like my small part of surburbia just fine.
Too bad Claude is gone. I would love to see him get his ass handed to him again.
I'm pulling for you guys. I'm a Blue Jackets season ticket holder. We all hate Nashville (Tootoo's a punk) and The Avs (since it was revealed that Foote walked on us because he's an asshat, using us for a couple of seasons to prolong his career.
Now, if you guys face the Sharks, I'm gonna have to cheer for Shelley!
Good Luck!
There are apartments in Kansas City, but it’s not in the same category as New York. It’s awfully suburban. Its erstwhile cornfields are now awfully suburban.
Also, society wasn’t destroyed because of shopping on Sundays. That didn’t directly cause rap music.
kansas city
lol
I was about to make a similar reply. ( I was going to add Animal Hospital to the list. )
I agree. I sometimes find our HOA a nuisance, but the rules are for everyone’s benefit, and we knew what they were when we bought the house.
I don’t know where the OP lives that he’s so upset. There are some obnoxious people in the neighborhood, and there’s some crime ... but the same was true in the 60’s. My subdivision has residents from more the 20 countries. (When the Brazilians cook out, it smells like carnivore heaven!) Everyone gets out and works on their lawns, and trades plants and appliances (”We got a new washer, you want the old one?).
Maybe I’ve just been lucky!
Wow, lots of comments.
Yes, PA Engineer, I just joined to post this. Naw just kidding, I joined to complain about Glazlad, so I just thought I’d write about stuff I’ve seen happening in suburbs.
And fightinJAG, its is correct spelling. its different because it doesn’t show possession, as it’s does. Its a beautiful day. Rather than something like The day, it’s beauty lives on.
bucaneer81, I don’t care that you think that, but forcing people who live around you to not have chain-link is simply communist.
budweisest, I seem to agree with you. Gas prices going up will bring an end to Suburban living. People will either stay in the country (which is where I hope to be) or be stuck in the city, where they walk to work at one of those unique stores that are set up around them. The ones who stay in Suburbs will be swept away with the times.
One word - telecommute.
Several of my neighbors here in the suburbs rarely go into their brick and mortar offices in the city.
None of us would ever live in the inner-city gulags again. The biggest crime that ever occurred here was a drunk teenager smashing a mailbox with a stolen garden gnome. Scary stuff, indeed.
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