Posted on 11/04/2008 9:19:57 AM PST by Titmouse
Saturday night I took my wife of 34 years to MovieLand to screen a comedy romance entitled “Zach and Miri Make a Porno,” a film whose Internet “Tomatometer” consensus proclaimed it “fresh,” “charming” and “an old fashioned romantic comedy.”
The Washington Post’s Neely Tucker observed, “Everyone on screen seems to be having so much fun,” and The New York Times’ A. O. Scott bubbled, “a gee-whiz romantic-comedy formula that would not be out of place on the Disney Channel.”
Since the wife and I are suckers for old-fashioned romantic comedies, I ponied up $30 for tickets and a bucket of popcorn, and we shimmied past aisle-sitting singles to wedge ourselves into kneecap-bruising seats.
Remember the days when your fellow moviegoers stood up and allowed you to pass them, un-rubbed-against, in the dark? No time for that today; we’re too busy text messaging to be bothered.
During the next hour and 41 minutes, the only thing that kept me in my seat was my reluctance to climb over the theater-goers to the left of us, so deep was my shame at the thought of being identified by somebody I knew.
The phrase, “coarsening of culture” — as it pertains to America — has lost any meaningful currency: Watching this movie was like being dropped into a sewerage-treatment pond with your lips stitched to your chin and forehead.
In fact, the money-shot in the film occurs when a constipated porn-princess is “freed-up” by the stud busily sodomizing her from the rear: In a flash of comedic brilliance, she evacuates, explosively, on the face and shoulders of the cameraman filming a close-up from below.
(Excerpt) Read more at aspentimes.com ...
ewwwww
sounds awful
Dude, it’s a Kevin Smith movie, what did you expect?
Jeez, the movie title might have provided a clue, ay.
Hey! Last Saturday I went to the Shubert Theater in New Haven Ct and saw a stage production of Sakespeare’s A Midsummer’s Night Dream performed by a stage troop from New Deli in Hindi! Sub titles ran on a display above the screen. Talk about culture!
I lasted until intermission.
It's a shame because I am a fan of Elizabeth Banks.
30 bucks for two to get into a movie?
That’s crazy. I guess it as been a while....
Jeezo Peezo... that’s more than enough to buy a pound of gun powder or 100 bullets.....hours of good clean fun for the whole family.
The sad thing is this film will be shown all over the world and the image people will have of Americans is horrible.
Lovely, go see a movie that says it’s porn right in the title and then trash America. Please, don’t reproduce.
Anyone who goes to a movie with that title and is surprised by the content deserves whatever they get. I wouldn’t doubt he just went to set up an appropriately indignant “Well, I Never!” article like this.
This clip should make the Oscars' highlight reel for the year for sure (such clips do not have to come from nominated movies or even from films from this year).
It says a lot about what Hollywood is spraying on the public every week.
Films reflect the filmmakers. Anyone who knows who Kevin Smith is and what his films are like wouldn’t be surprised by this one.
Smith has all the filmmaking talent of a 1920s radio gag writer. What’s mildly charming about him is that he admits it and corresponds with his fans on his site.
Kidding right? “...make a porno” wasn’t a clue. Traci Lords is in the preview blowing bubbles in a manner usually reserved for the gut in a foreign port (gut being the lowest class drinking and base entertainment part of town).
Sorry, a couple years on the planet should have tipped this off as a non-starter despite the “romantic comedy” moniker. Rent “LA Story,” or “The Whole Nine Yards.” It’ll spare some coin and even these small movies are likely orders of magnitude better than ZMMP.
Thanks for the break from alternating schadenfreude and hand wringing.
Cheers!!!
Well what the HELL did the viewer expect? A light hearted romp with Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks???
Here’s a clue: Do NOT go to movies with “Porn” in the title and expect family fare.
Dumbass reviewer.
i think that included a tub of popcorn.
Porn is from the Devil. Even if it is not porn but has that name it it it is from the devil.
“Watching this movie was like being dropped into a sewerage-treatment pond with your lips stitched to your chin and forehead.”
You weren't dropped into, you paid to jump into (and you brought your wife along for what?) the sewer.
Fool me once...
I have trouble summoning sympathy for the idiot that thought “Zack and Miri Make a Porno” was an idealistic romantic comedy. Nitwit. When the director is Kevin Smith, and Judd Apatow is a major player, you’re guaranteed a bawdy comedy. When the word “porno” is in the TITLE, you’re a dumbass if you don’t expect a bawdy comedy.
H
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