GET OFF YOUR KNEES.
Just a suggestion.
Posted on 11/05/2008 7:32:29 PM PST by According2RecentPollsAirIsGood
First of all, please forgive yet another vanity in a time when there isn't a bonfire big enough to consume all the ones so far.
I consider the people here on FreeRepublic to be some of the most intelligent and also just downright decent people I know. Thus I feel I can trust your thoughtful opinions on most things. I'm still kind of young (24), and there's a lot I don't know about life. Right now, I need some relationship advice.
I have a girlfriend right now who I deeply love. We met online through another message board, and have known each other for several years as friends. A little less than a year ago, I met her for the first time in person (she lives in upstate NY, I'm in Texas) as a friend, we kind of hit it off after that, met up again later in June, and became an official couple. Things have been going extremely well so far, we see each other a lot, and we both very much love each other. I've even thought about asking her to marry me someday assuming everything continues to go well and any major hiccups are resolvable.
One of the reasons I think we've done so well so far are that we early on (before we started dating) found out that we agreed on a lot of major things that are important to a relationship. First of all, she is believing, church-going Christian (Methodist) as am I (Lutheran). I've dated non-believers before and the relationship has worked out very badly both times, thus, faith has become a very important quality to me. We also agree on abstinence until marriage, an extremely rare quality amongst young people nowadays, and that has put both her and my mind at much greater ease as we go along.
In addition, we get along very well together and have quite a few similar interests. We both have the open mind, resourcefulness, and will to make a long distance relationship work for now until we can get closer to each other. And her parents adore me. They're dairy farmers and as such are down-to-earth, genuine people, and they've instilled that in her as well. I've never had so many things going right with someone before.
Ok, sorry for all the lengthy background. The following is why I'm writing this. In obvious contrast to me, my girlfriend is adamantly anti-political. She thinks politics is depressing, she doesn't care for anyone on either side, and she avoids discussing it like the plague. Honestly, I thought I could deal with that. It is depressing, after all, and almost nobody on either side is worth a damn. A while back she let slip that she was undecided who to vote for in this election. Since then I've sporadically tried to point out the reasons to not vote for Obama, even if McCain does suck. I've tried to relay how his policies are going to personally affect both my family and hers. I even suggested that if she just didn't care, she probably shouldn't vote. I became extremely worried as election day approached.
Well, I called her yesterday, and she told me that she did indeed vote. So I asked her for whom because I'd been really wanting to know. She wouldn't tell me. I told her it was important to me, but she still refused. I think it's fairly obvious what that means.
Personally, I'm devastated by this election. I feel like I don't live in the same country anymore. I see a bleak future for anyone who wants to be successful. She, on the other hand, isn't really bothered. She didn't think her vote mattered anyways (it didn't, NY). As she's told me, she just doesn't consider politics an important part of her life and thinks everything's crappy and depressing regardless of who's in power.
She has utter apathy towards it all, and I think yesterday her vote was one of sheer ignorance. You know people like that. They don't realize that the few things they do hear in the news are abject lies. They may be decent people who, if they actually knew a tenth of what someone stood for, would not even consider voting for them. I mean, from what I've mentioned above, I think most of her core values are fairly conservative even if she may not make that connection. I think she's just naive and probably got duped. Her intractability on talking about these things, though, is probably going to make it hard for me to make headway.
So I'm very confused what to think. I was praying really hard she'd vote the right way, and I now I feel sick to my stomach. I love her greatly, and I worry that as I see the awful things planned for this country become reality that I'm going unwillingly connect her with them. I'm trying to chalk it up to apathetic ignorance on her part (which I think it is), but I don't know if that will always keep me placated.
I also will admit that I really don't want to have to face everything alone if it's going to eventually be as bad as we think it is.
Geez, I'm sorry for the long post. I've just been really worked up.
So I'm just asking for some help in figuring things out. I would appreciate if people would refrain from throwaway responses like "just get rid of her" or "get over it" or "suck it up." If anyone is married to someone who doesn't have the same beliefs as they do, I'd be interested in how you make things work. Or if you know people like my girlfriend and have advice on how to gently educate her more about our side. Or if you think I don't need to make a big deal of it, let me know. And if so, what are some ways to cope with it or ignore it or keep it from festering in my mind or what? Or just anything you have to say. I love her, and even after hearing my full out despondency last night, she still says she loves me. I need to sort myself out.
This is not a Lonely Hearts Club. This is an absolutely silly post.
Give her a good scrogging and lay of the politics with her
Well, at least this is a new and different vanity. Sort of kinder and gentler than politics. Would Dear Abby pick up the white courtesy phone.
I also think you're letting your distress over this election color things. I'm distressed, too. I've tried to stay away from people.
America has undergone a change (change!) and a kind of mass Obama hypnosis. I don't think you ought to hold it against her. A lot of people have been seduced.
Is she good looking?
I read through your thread, but didn’t see where you mentioned how old she is, or if she is in school or has a job.
When we first met, my wife “leaned towards the left.” I slowly exposed her to several truths concerning socialism (she was born and raised in Germany).
She is very scared of the Obama administration. She sees it as a repeat of 1930s Germany.
I say dump her, I never could figure out that Carville-Matalin thing. Who needs to come home to that.
GET OFF YOUR KNEES.
Just a suggestion.
We need a photo to determine "guilt."
Sounds like you may have grounds for divorce, so I suggest you get married.
If agreement over politics is as important to you as agreement over religion and you can’t accept her making shallow political decisions that you wouldn’t make, the relationship if probably going to have problems. Her reluctance to tell you who she voted for and so on also doesn’t sound hopeful. But ultimately, this is about something that’s important to you and she’s shown that she’s willing and able to vote in ways that you’ll disagree with. Either you can accept that (as some other Freepers have, who talk about Democrat-voting spouses) and you should probably just stay away from politics with her or you can’t, in which case it’s probably time to move on. But you’ve got to look into your own heart for that answer. Imagine two scenarios in your mind. A future with her voting for people like Obama and Hillary Clinton or a future without her. Which one bothers you more?
Dump her. You’re too young for this bother anyway. If she voted Obama and won’t tell you, what else isn’t she telling you? Good God she voted Obama! You have to ask what to do?
Go find a good conservative girl and make conservative babies. AFTER you’re married of course!
Give the guy a break. Not silly - just novel!
You said it yourself: you and your girlfriend share the same values.
You’re politically sophisticated, and she isn’t(yet). So you’ll educate her...gently! But if she remains apathetic, let it go.
I’ve cast votes in my callow youth that I now regret. You haven’t?
I thought you were going to tell us she was a screaming lib but you were wild about her anyway, and I would tell you to move on. Instead it sounds like you two are plenty compatible. You’d be a fool to throw away someone with whom you share so much over this issue.
BTW, you should apologize to your girlfriend for hounding her about her vote. It makes you look like a bully.
Mary Matalin and a circumcised snakehead...shudder...
If she did vote for the Obomination, you may want to ask her how he is compatible to Christianity. Ask her about her views on abortion or infanticide, coveting other peoples money. Maybe you don't know her as well as you thought? Or maybe she doesn't think. Some people truly don't think about these things. They REACT to things.
OTOH you have James Carville and Mary Matalin appearing to be happily married. Maybe it's their diametrically opposed views that turns them on? I don't know ... I don know that for my spouse and I our values/beliefs spill over into the political arena and they are the same. We are very compatible.
This is why I question how well do you really know HER. Just what are her values/beliefs? Are they really compatible with yours?
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