You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh?
It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful! I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet.
I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.
I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really pissed and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).
I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky ....
- Alex
P.S. Remember this motto...... an armed society is a polite society!
Or does such a thing already exist?
2nd Amendment at work against the domestic enemies.
Hopefully, it was a boom-box car.
This is the fifth iteration of this story I’ve seen over the last three years...
The original Craigslist post has been flagged for removal:
http://savannah.craigslist.org/rnr/982078099.html
However, it has gone from different links such as reddit:
http://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/7nv39/to_the_guy_who_mugged_me/
and has been dated 3 months ago. It should be on Craigslist’s best of, but we know why Craigslist is based in san Francisco.
It was still fun to read.
This phony email is funny and all... but we have to be careful that we don’t spread the misconception that all gun owners take the law into their own hands during armed confrontations. What he did to the mugger would get him arrested too.
I once had a burglar try to break into a cabin my parents owned. I heard him messing around for several minutes and had time to wake up and clear my head, grab a Browning Hi-Power and wait.
Sure enough, he then tried the door. I opened it and in one motion turned on the lights. I immediately pressed the Browning right between his eyes.
The funny thing is it didn’t even bother him. One would think a cocked and loaded pistol pressed against your forehead would get most peoples attention. He simply said, “hey my car is in the ditch, can you help me”?
The guy looked like a carnival worker, dirty, long hair, and according to a deputy I talked to later, on drugs. He probably was trying to steal a battery out of an RV parked next to the cabin. He had run the one in his car dead. He really was in the ditch.
LoL.. Now thats what I’m talking about.. ugh huh...
/
I gotta call shens on this one.
haha.
:)
Funniest read in a loooooong time.
Funny stuff ping
ping