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Woman arrested for battery after poking boyfriend in groin with her sex toy
St Petersburg Times ^ | 7/8/09

Posted on 07/09/2009 7:13:13 PM PDT by llevrok

TREASURE ISLAND — A woman has been arrested after accosting her live-in boyfriend with a pink sex toy.

Kimberly Lynn Calvert, 45, of 11875 3rd St. E, Apt. 4, was arrested Wednesday on a charge of simple battery.

Police say an intoxicated Calvert first yelled at John Anthony Gonzales, with whom she has been living for five months, then "began poking" him "in the groin area multiple times" with the sex toy.

Gonzalez called 911.


TOPICS: Hobbies
KEYWORDS: florida; napl
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1 posted on 07/09/2009 7:13:13 PM PDT by llevrok
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To: llevrok

Now there’s a real man!


2 posted on 07/09/2009 7:15:06 PM PDT by Man50D (Fair Tax, you earn it, you keep it! FairTaxNation.com)
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To: llevrok
Gonzalez called 911.

Mr. Machismo.

3 posted on 07/09/2009 7:15:15 PM PDT by hinckley buzzard
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To: llevrok
Simple battery?

D cells, probably.

4 posted on 07/09/2009 7:15:40 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (I don't believe anything anyone says about anything anymore.)
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To: llevrok

Useless without photographic evidence.


5 posted on 07/09/2009 7:16:36 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
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To: llevrok

With a wuss boyfriend like that no wonder she had a toy.


6 posted on 07/09/2009 7:16:41 PM PDT by Abbeville Conservative (Sarah Palin, the only cure for the RINO virus.)
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To: llevrok

“The only solution to this is the BANNING of all pink sex toys! How many men must be poked in the groin before this maddness ends? It’s for the children!” ~ Local, Enraged LibTard


7 posted on 07/09/2009 7:17:25 PM PDT by Diana in Wisconsin (Save The Earth. It's The Only Planet With Chocolate.)
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To: hinckley buzzard

yeah, the better response would have been to wait until she decided to call and claim he had done something to her.


8 posted on 07/09/2009 7:20:13 PM PDT by jdub (A patriot must always be ready to defend his country against his government.)
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To: llevrok

45 yr old women and sex toys? Barf.


9 posted on 07/09/2009 7:20:16 PM PDT by exist
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To: llevrok
Guilty as hell!...


10 posted on 07/09/2009 7:20:36 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
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To: buccaneer81

Viagra antidote.


11 posted on 07/09/2009 7:23:25 PM PDT by csmusaret (If you like this economy, keep voting for Donkeys.)
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To: buccaneer81

Which party is that? M or F? LOL.


12 posted on 07/09/2009 7:26:04 PM PDT by 2harddrive (then)
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To: llevrok
“with whom she has been living for five months”

Now granted I am a little drunk, but is this chick 5 months old?

13 posted on 07/09/2009 7:26:04 PM PDT by A Texan (Oderint dum metuant)
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To: csmusaret
Viagra antidote.

For sure.

14 posted on 07/09/2009 7:26:43 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
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To: buccaneer81
kinda looks like Cindy Sh!thead...
15 posted on 07/09/2009 7:27:53 PM PDT by Chode (American Hedonist - Obama is basically Jim Jones with a teleprompter)
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To: Chode
kinda looks like Cindy Sh!thead...

It does, doesn't it?

16 posted on 07/09/2009 7:28:53 PM PDT by buccaneer81 (Bob Taft has soiled the family name for the next century.)
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To: buccaneer81

“kinda looks like Cindy Sh!thead...”

“It does, doesn’t it?”

Wow, did he drop off of the face of the Earth.

I think if you look up “useful idiot” in the dictionary, her picture is there.


17 posted on 07/09/2009 7:34:39 PM PDT by The Antiyuppie ("When small men cast long shadows, then it is very late in the day.")
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To: buccaneer81

GUILTTTTTY!

18 posted on 07/09/2009 7:35:09 PM PDT by Doogle (USAF.68-73..8th TFW Ubon Thailand..never store a threat you should have eliminated))
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To: llevrok
My gawd, this is like calling 911 when McDonald's ran out of chicken mclugnuts.

How far is Treasure Island from Port Saint Lucie?
19 posted on 07/09/2009 7:35:58 PM PDT by Brizick (Repeal the 17th Amendment)
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To: buccaneer81

a dude named kimberly?


20 posted on 07/09/2009 7:37:57 PM PDT by isom35
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To: Allegra; dayglored; Dutchgirl; Old Sarge; SunkenCiv
TREASURE ISLAND — A woman has been arrested after accosting her live-in boyfriend with a pink sex toy.

♀☹☠☣☢★☆MANGLED GENITALS PING☆★☢☣☠☹♂

They just don't make pirates the way they used to.

21 posted on 07/09/2009 7:39:23 PM PDT by martin_fierro (< |:)~)
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To: ClearCase_guy

“Simple battery?

D cells, probably”

LOL, don’t taze me ho!


22 posted on 07/09/2009 7:41:57 PM PDT by Batman11 (Chicago, Land of Lincoln who freed the slaves and Land of Obama who enslaved the free.)
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To: llevrok

He is lucky she didnt poke him in another area.


23 posted on 07/09/2009 7:54:31 PM PDT by Venturer
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To: buccaneer81
Useless without photographic evidence.

-- -- --

Here ya go. I hope you like this.


24 posted on 07/09/2009 8:14:12 PM PDT by HighWheeler (The higher the concentration of libs, the bigger the tragedy that follows.)
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To: HighWheeler

Looks like my mother in law.


25 posted on 07/09/2009 8:21:10 PM PDT by TypeZoNegative (Pro life & Vegan because I respect all life, Republican because our enemies don't respect ours.)
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To: llevrok

Beat up by a dildo. Just damn.


26 posted on 07/09/2009 8:24:48 PM PDT by autumnraine (You can't fix stupid, but you can vote it out)
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To: windcliff

ping


27 posted on 07/09/2009 8:27:15 PM PDT by I Drive Too Fast
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To: martin_fierro

The real reason this happened was, the battery was only AAA.


28 posted on 07/09/2009 8:49:07 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/__Since Jan 3, 2004__Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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Funniest T-shirt messages in human history

29 posted on 07/09/2009 8:55:29 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/__Since Jan 3, 2004__Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: SunkenCiv

You can read that? ... Or are you that close?


30 posted on 07/09/2009 8:59:01 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Believing they cannot be deceived, they cannot be convinced when they are deceived.)
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To: MHGinTN

[muffled thud]


31 posted on 07/09/2009 9:02:36 PM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/__Since Jan 3, 2004__Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: SunkenCiv

Bwahahahahaha ... stop it, you’re killin’ me.


32 posted on 07/09/2009 9:03:42 PM PDT by MHGinTN (Believing they cannot be deceived, they cannot be convinced when they are deceived.)
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To: llevrok

I wonder if she kept saying turn around, turn about is fair play?


33 posted on 07/09/2009 9:16:10 PM PDT by razorback-bert (We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.)
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To: llevrok; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
Sounds like the perp is better at groin-poking than her boyfriend.


34 posted on 07/09/2009 9:24:48 PM PDT by Slings and Arrows (Crazy is the new sane.)
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To: llevrok
"began poking" him "in the groin area multiple times" with the sex toy.

Gonzalez called 911.

What a weenie.

35 posted on 07/09/2009 9:32:49 PM PDT by TXBlair (White-knuckling my way through the next three and a half years.)
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To: llevrok

Talk about having a bad vibe.


36 posted on 07/09/2009 9:35:50 PM PDT by SeaHawkFan
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To: exist

Prude!


37 posted on 07/09/2009 9:36:25 PM PDT by SeaHawkFan
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To: SunkenCiv

I don’t remember this ping list!


38 posted on 07/10/2009 3:54:49 AM PDT by Eaker (The Two Loudest Sounds in the World.....Bang When it should have been Click and the Reverse.)
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To: Eaker

Just be glad FR is a family site, because the ping message logo is, well, just be glad.


39 posted on 07/10/2009 4:51:59 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/__Since Jan 3, 2004__Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: SunkenCiv

40 posted on 07/10/2009 5:14:32 AM PDT by Eaker (The Two Loudest Sounds in the World.....Bang When it should have been Click and the Reverse.)
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To: SunkenCiv

41 posted on 07/10/2009 5:32:40 AM PDT by Eaker (The Two Loudest Sounds in the World.....Bang When it should have been Click and the Reverse.)
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To: Eaker

Wow, you’ve “arached” up some frequent flyer miles with that one.


42 posted on 07/10/2009 5:56:54 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/__Since Jan 3, 2004__Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: Eaker; SunkenCiv

That is perfect. I vote the logo changes.


43 posted on 07/10/2009 6:17:44 AM PDT by Xenalyte (Ma'am, we're not gonna go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.)
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To: autumnraine

My mother mistakenly calls it a dildew.


44 posted on 07/10/2009 6:41:58 AM PDT by synbad600
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To: Brizick

As stupid as the story still is, she called 911 b/c she didn’t get her money back when she was told there were no more McNuggets.


45 posted on 07/10/2009 6:43:01 AM PDT by synbad600
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To: Xenalyte
Yeah, right, "vote" -- who do you think ya are, a dead Democrat?
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
46 posted on 07/10/2009 6:44:20 AM PDT by SunkenCiv (https://secure.freerepublic.com/donate/__Since Jan 3, 2004__Profile updated Monday, January 12, 2009)
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To: synbad600
My mother mistakenly calls it a dildew.

Thankfully, the subject has never come up with my mom.

47 posted on 07/10/2009 6:53:47 AM PDT by Travis T. OJustice (I can spell just fine, thanks, it's my typing that sucks.)
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To: llevrok

He’s lucky she didn’t have an axe near to hand.


48 posted on 07/10/2009 7:07:53 AM PDT by AFPhys ((.Praying for President Bush, our troops, their families, and all my American neighbors..))
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To: llevrok


Guilty!

Firing squad at sunrise.
49 posted on 07/10/2009 8:33:12 AM PDT by BJClinton (One Big Ass Mistake America)
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To: Slings and Arrows

She poked him with the battery?


50 posted on 07/10/2009 12:49:15 PM PDT by a fool in paradise (There is no truth in the Pravda Media.)
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