Where Have All the Loose Women Gone?

Esquire ^ | 5.7.09 | Stephen Marche

[libh8er]

The days of Sex and the City's influence are long gone. From Tina Fey's fake prude to Sarah Palin's real power play, here's why strong women just aren't that into having sex with you anymore. Brilliant, funny, and powerful women are retreating from sex as never before, and if you don't believe it, take the curious case of Liz Lemon. The most complicated and intelligent woman in television comedy barely ever has sex. She doesn't sit on laps, either — "not a lap sitter," she tells one handsome date she brings home in the first season. (He turns out to be her cousin.) She admits to losing her virginity at twenty-five and accidentally reveals that she doesn't believe people can have intercourse standing up. Liz Lemon's low libido is one of 30 Rock's running gags, like the writers' obsession with junk food or Jack Donaghy's use of words like "upward-revenue-stream dynamics." When Jenna asks about sex with her beeper-salesman boyfriend, Liz replies, "Fast and only on Saturdays — it's perfect." That line is a dagger in the heart of every thinking heterosexual man in America, and for Liz and the like-minded career women in The Women, He's Just Not That Into You, Sandra Bullock's latest, The Proposal, or just about any other chick flick of late, it's become achingly clear that sex is usually the last thing on their minds.

How did this happen? A mere decade ago, Seinfeld's Elaine Benes was hilarious, smart, familiar with Russian novelists, an aggressive and demanding professional, and a woman who fooled around a lot. The Sex and the City fantasia of fin de siècle Manhattan broke women's desires into separable components — status, career, money — but sooner or later every conversation between the four principals came back to who's doing what with

[Billthedrill]

I dunno about “loose,” but Sarah did have five kids and near as I can tell there must have been sex involved in there somewhurs. As far as anxious liberal metrosexuals not gittin’ any, that’s their problem. Stealin’ yer girlfriend’s eye liner and mousse is a relationship-breaker, babalou. Trust me.

[stormer]

As to the question, “Where have all the loose women gone?”, they haven't gone anywhere. In fact, they're all going to be a my place this weekend checking out my new deck. We'll have a little barbecue, drink some brews, generally just party.

[Fido969]

I don’t find it to be true.

Maybe it’s a metrosexual thing.

[theFIRMbss]

>I wonder if the author realizes that the TV characters aren't real

I have wondered this
a lot in the modern world.
Even serious,

academic books
seem comfortable talking
about fictional

TV people and
movie people and drawing
real life conclusions

from their behavior.
This is the most stupid trend
imaginable!

[Just another Joe]

Stealin’ yer girlfriend’s eye liner and mousse is a relationship-breaker, babalou. Trust me.

I just gotta ask, been there, done that?

[70th Division]

“My wife cut me down to once a month. That is nothing. She cut out three other guys all together.” Rodney

[cranked]

lulz, agreed.

[theFIRMbss]

>parsy, who prefers his guitar to trying to figure out women
>>my piano never told me it loved me and then screwed my friends

I do get jealous
when my guitar teacher plays
my guitar better

than I can muster.
I wonder if my guitar
just puts up with me . . .

[starlifter]

You are a pig!

[madmominct]

women are retreating from sex as never before

who says? as a 50-something-year-old woman i feel more frisky than ever! just waiting for a guy who appreciates a savvy and passionate conservative as well as a roll in ze hay!

[Bodleian_Girl]

“Then she told me a little story about free milk and a cow and said ‘no huggin’, no kissin’ till I get a wedding vow!”

Sisters need to keep their legs together, imo.
After all, what man really wants to marry someone who’s been around the block?

[Alex Murphy]

How did this happen? A mere decade ago, Seinfeld's Elaine Benes was hilarious, smart, familiar with Russian novelists, an aggressive and demanding professional, and a woman who fooled around a lot.

JERRY: Are you saying...
GEORGE: (calls for a waitress) I think I'll have a piece of cake.
JERRY: With me?
ELAINE: Well...
JERRY: You faked with me?
ELAINE: Yeah.
JERRY: You faked with me?
ELAINE: Yeah.
JERRY: No.
ELAINE: Yeah.
JERRY: You faked it?
ELAINE: I faked it.
JERRY: That whole thing, the whole production, it was all an act?
ELAINE: Not bad huh?
JERRY: What about the breathing, the panting, the moaning, the screaming?
ELAINE: Fake, fake, fake, fake.
JERRY: I'm stunned, I'm shocked! How many times did you do this?
ELAINE: Uuuhm, all the time.
JERRY: All the time?!

[raybbr]

bfl

[Snickering Hound]

Uhhh, athlete husband, long cold dark nights, I think 5 kids would be sufficient evidence that the author is a moron.

[SeaHawkFan]

If a woman is married to a decent guy and gives him plenty of sex, he will do just ab out anything to make sure all her needs are met.

Husbands who are sexually satisfied have happy wives.

[LimaLimaMikeFoxtrot]

LOL. Well, I love my B-3 and I’m sure it loves me.

[thinkthenpost]

My wife, all we do is argue about sex and money, I mean she charges me too much. Rodney (RIP)

[Go Gordon]

How about this one?

[cammie]

Totally agree with you...

But lemme tell ya - I’m a reasonably attractive woman living in NYC (don’t really have a choice, both due to my profession and due to my parents health situation)...and if I could find a guy who gave a damn that I’m one of those girls who wants to know, respect, support and love a man as a human being long long long before I’m willing to even think about fooling around with him, I’d be a happy girl.

But that doesn’t really happen in NYC, as there’s a vapid f!ckbunny around every corner willing to put out. So if this Esquire writer - whom I’m willing to bet lives in NYC or LA — can’t find loose women in these towns, it’s either because (1) he’s slept with them all already or (2) he’s the fugliest man alive.

And hey, if any NY single Freepers think I sound interesting, you know where I am...LOL.