Posted on 10/02/2009 8:30:41 PM PDT by se_ohio_young_conservative
First off. Our marriage is great. We love eachother so very much. My wife gave birth to twins in December 08. Obviously we stay very busy and most of our focus is on the girls.
We were both raised in a christian home. We were both christians when we met. Our faith was something that we had in common from the start and it was very important to the development of our relationship. I never had any doubt she truly believed even though she was more intellectual in her thinking.
Over time she has seemed more secular in her thinking and less intrested in going to church. She started having doubts and of course I told her there is a God and I prayed with her and encouraged her to look at scripture. She never pushed me away. But it seemed more and more like she was losing intrest in religion.
Even with all of that, I was shocked when she brought the subject up the other day. She told me that she has been afraid to tell me that she no longer believes in a God. she didn't want me to get upset with her. She told me that it is not a matter of not wanting to believe. She just could no longer believe. She went on to say there is no way the earth is 6000 years old. I did not get upset with her. I told her I still loved her. But I admit that it was very upsetting hearing my wife whom grew up in a church and has prayed with me so many times. it was upsetting to hear her make all of these typical atheist arguments against what she once believed. We had a very long conversation.
It has me upset. But I refuse let this ruin our marriage. A couple of days went by and she is still the same woman and I still love her just as much. I am just confused by all of this. and I am afraid it could hurt our marriage somehow. I don't want it too. I am afraid because I want her to go to heaven. I believe these are the end times. I don't want her left behind.
Is there anyone else out there who is in a marriage where one believes and the other does not ?
Obviously I am going to pray for her. But I don't think I can really preach or talk her back. I don't think it would work and I don't want to be a pain to her.
I just don't know exactly how to handle this. But I know that she still has a good heart. she is a wonderful and loving person. and she has good morals and values. I know that. and I know she is and will always be a great mother to our girls.
I don't want to let it hurt our marriage. How should I handle this ? i do have a lot of fear
Sounds like she is trying to push your buttons. I would just consider it a phase and hang tough.
PRAY.
PRAY HARD.
And she’s right... there is no way the earth is 6000 years old, but what that has to do with God is beyond me.
“I believe these are the end times. I don’t want her left behind.”
Start by getting a new eschatology... it will not happen like anything in the left behind novels or the late great planet earth...
She right.
Best wishes to you both.
She isn’t suffering from depression at all is she, following childbirth? Sometimes that causes one to lose interest in things they once were interested in.
The earth is older than 6,000 years....
Dinosaurs did roam the earth at one time....
Faith is an evolving thing and can not be limited to ideas that are so easily debunked.
Try this book:
“The Case for Christ” by Lee Strobel.
Lays it out very well.
The author decided to investigate after his wife became a Christian.
He was not a believer when he started out.
Best wishes.
That’s your opinion - which has no place in this particular conversation. Take it to a CREVO debate thread.
Continue to love her, and pray for her. Eventually, she will let the Lord back in her heart. All she needs to do is to look at your children to realize the miracle of life and the hand of God behind it. But keep loving her and praying for her. By your actions and faith, she will return to the Lord.
I am a practicing Catholic. My husband is not Catholic and while there are problems in the sense that we cannot share the faith together, I am constantly praying for his conversion. I figure that by example I can show my husband the fruits of faith. You can do the same.
Also, have you thought of trying a different Christian Church, or faith community that your wife might feel more comfortable in?
either one has faith or one does not. cant be forced.
one can have faith in his own personal Christian God that does not include a limitation to the age of the earth based on some bishop a couple of hundred years ago who made a detemination of the earths age by some simple but not necessarily correct math.
My Rabbi says that your marriage comes first, and that you just need to make sure you succeed in your marriage, and simultaneously show how important religion is to you.
Everything else will take care of itself. If your wife truly loves you, she will accept your religiousity and perhaps come around. Nonetheless, your responsibilities are to your marriage and your religion. Not her religiousity.
1 Corinthians 7:13-14
Stay the course. She’ll be fine. I used to say the same thing, but finally admitted to myself that it was just desperation.
Belief in God doesn’t come from going to church. If she just looks around at the world, then she cannot deny Him. It will happen.
I would get some good counseling if I were you.
You are right - about the only thing you can do is pray for her. Then continue to love her. There is no guarantee that anything will happen in her heart to restore her to God, but you have to have faith that this will happen. Just do not give up on her or your marriage.
We will pray for you and your wife.
Give her an Earth-shattering O.
Actually, the Earth could be 1 day old. Any reasonably omnipotent God could have created everything yesterday and given us all memories (and fossils and stuff) to make the place seem to be 4 billion years old. I'm just sayin'
When the two of you are in the car, do you find that you like different stations? When watching tv, do you have different program preferences? People have needs at different times and not all the time are two peoples needs congruent. What I suspect is happening is that she has spiritual needs different from yours and perhaps the two of you should consider searching for a new church home.
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