Replies

1. Obvious: Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park
on your face?

2. Meteorological: Everybody take cover. She’s going to
blow.

3. Fashionable: You know, you could de-emphasize your nose
if you wore something larger. Like ... Wyoming.

4. Personal: Well, here we are. Just the three of us.

5. Punctual: Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but
you were fifteen minutes late.

6. Envious: Ooooh, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to
smell your own ear.

7. Naughty: Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if
you wouldn’t mind putting that thing away.

8. Philosophical: You know. It’s not the size of a nose
that’s important. It’s what’s in it that matters.

9. Humorous: Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and
it’s goodbye Seattle.

10. Commercial: Hi, I’m Earl Schibe and I can paint that
nose for $39.95.

11. Polite: Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The
orchestra keeps changing tempo.

12. Melodic: Everybody! “He’s got the whole world in his
nose.”

13. Sympathetic: Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a
bet with God?

14. Complimentary: You must love the little birdies to give
them this to perch on.

15. Scientific: Say, does that thing there influence the
tides.

16. Obscure: Oh, I’d hate to see the grindstone.

17. Inquiry: When you stop to smell the flowers, are they
afraid?

18. French: Say, the pigs have refused to find any more
truffles until you leave.

19. Pornographic: Finally, a man who can satisfy two women
at once.

20. Religious: The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving,
didn’t He!

21. Disgusting: Say, who mows your nose hair.

22. Paranoid: Keep that guy away from my cocaine!

23. Aromatic: It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning
and smell the coffee ... in Brazil.

24. Appreciative: Oooo, how original. Most people just have
their teeth capped.

25. Dirty: Your name wouldn’t be Dick, would it?