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If You're Not Married by 40, You're a Freak
www.cafemom.com ^ | 6/17/11 | Sashsa Brown-Worsham

Posted on 06/17/2011 7:45:25 PM PDT by chasio649

We have moved far past the time when an unmarried woman over 35 was branded an "old maid" or when unmarried men were "swinging bachelors," but after seeing the disaster of the marriage between Huma Abedin and Congressman Anthony Weiner, one does have to wonder if the old adage about men over 40 who have never been married is true. Is it a dating red flag?

There is something to be said for marriage. Being in a marriage, whether it ends or stays together, usually means you have some experience with compromise, the ability to love and be loved, and some familiarity with the concept of sharing. "Never-marrieds" on the other hand? Who knows why they're unmarried?

In asking around, it seems the cutoff age between it being cool and it being a red flag is roughly 35 for men and 40 for women.

Of course, nothing is sure-fire and there are as many extenuating circumstances as there are marriages on Earth. But it's a good rule of thumb, when dating, to recognize that a person who has reached a certain age and never had a relationship last longer than a couple months is probably harboring some issues.

Marriage? Maybe not. Maybe they don't want to get married or just don't play musical chairs all that well. There are reasons they may not have walked down the aisle, though in Weiner's case, it probably WAS a red flag. Still, most men over 40 who have had at least one or two long-term relationships that haven't worked out are still marriage material, but those who haven't even had a girlfriend? It's a problem.

We learn something with every relationship we're in. No one would argue that the older you get, the harder it is to compromise. It is. So if you marry young and you compromise together, you get used to that. Someone who has made it to 40 without having to make those compromises and learn and grow with someone would likely be much more rigid in their thinking.

Women over 30 complain all the time that there are few good guys without baggage who are over 30 out there. And it's likely true. There are some good men who stay single, but coupling off whether by marriage or just a long-term relationship is kind of the "norm." So stepping outside of that does make you a bit of a freak.

That said, it isn't fair to not give a guy a chance because of some arbitrary cutoff. There is always the exception to every "rule," right?

Do you think a man or woman over 40 who has never been married is a freak?


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: serialmorons
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To: TigerClaws

I think somebody has issues.


121 posted on 06/18/2011 3:15:04 AM PDT by conservativebuckeye
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To: chasio649

Guilty. What I want I can’t get. What I can get I don’t want. Stalemate.


122 posted on 06/18/2011 4:00:34 AM PDT by MSF BU (YR'S Please Support our troops: JOIN THEM!)
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To: chasio649
Do you think a man or woman over 40 who has never been married is a freak?

The desire and ability to maintain a marriage is subjective to so many factors you can't possibly set a reasonable standard for it's conditions outside of "man + woman + commitment before God = marriage".

The age thing isn't even something I would consider debatable. If I was a young man, there's probably a very small pool of young conservative American women to choose from. Probably best to wait until you find the right one. 40 years might not be enough for some people.

123 posted on 06/18/2011 4:36:39 AM PDT by Caipirabob ( Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Caipirabob

Not that I married a “naturally born” American woman. I married a Colombian import American who’s extremely politically conservative. Faith and values go along way towards a wonderful relationship, and I truly love hearing her scream at O’Reilly in Spanish to shut up and let his guests talk...


124 posted on 06/18/2011 4:42:05 AM PDT by Caipirabob ( Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: jocon307

My personal hero is a college classmate of my mother’s who married for the first time at the young age of 69. She met a widower at her 50 year high school reunion that she didn’t know in school since they had no classes together. She retired (planned to work into her 70’s), married him and they are very happy together.


125 posted on 06/18/2011 4:54:20 AM PDT by PrincessB (Drill Baby Drill.)
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To: chasio649

Married at 17 and still going strong 25 years later


126 posted on 06/18/2011 4:58:20 AM PDT by annelizly
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To: NoGrayZone

Your tagline rocks.


127 posted on 06/18/2011 5:21:34 AM PDT by OriginalChristian (The end of America, as founded, began when the first Career Politician was elected...)
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To: ottbmare

Your brother and his wife could adopt. We had two of our own and adopted two more.


128 posted on 06/18/2011 5:24:30 AM PDT by OriginalChristian (The end of America, as founded, began when the first Career Politician was elected...)
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To: OriginalChristian

Thanks!! I got it from you tube. I forget his name but he makes great Conservative videos.

This one was about Islamophobia. I should have put his name after it.


129 posted on 06/18/2011 5:59:58 AM PDT by NoGrayZone ("Islamophobia: The irrational fear of being beheaded.")
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To: Yorlik803

News flash: You can NEVER afford a family. No one can. No matter how much $ you make. But it’s worth being broke.


130 posted on 06/18/2011 6:56:13 AM PDT by EDINVA ( CHANGE it back!)
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To: chasio649

“If You’re Not Married by 40, You’re a Freak”

Whatever. Perhaps I just don’t like lowering my standards. I’ve worked hard and done everything I know to do that’s right. Pardon me if I don’t like the thought of raising someone else’s child (I do that enough at work) or that I don’t think that staggering around drunk is fun, or that I don’t find tattoos and a face full of fishing tackle attractive. Mayhaps the fact that I read and find others who don’t ignorant and dull has something to do with it, also. In short, being my wife would not be a job for just anybody. If that makes me a freak, so be it.


131 posted on 06/18/2011 8:39:48 AM PDT by GenXteacher (He that hath no stomach for this fight, let him depart!)
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To: alphadoggie

Another freak here. Early 40’s, never married, no kids. Almost got engaged when I was 29, but got out right before he started getting physically violent. Everybody thought I was crazy for breaking up with him. Otherwise, I know lots of people who didn’t get married until after 40. I have several platonic male friends who will never be more than that for a variety of reasons. Still hoping to get married someday, if I find the right guy. Need to get to a 2nd date first;-)


132 posted on 06/18/2011 8:50:47 AM PDT by toothfairy86
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To: Gil4

Diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, has to take lithium in order to live outside of a mental institute. That’s crazy.

Believe me, your wife is not crazy.


133 posted on 06/18/2011 10:11:28 AM PDT by Betis70 (Bruins!)
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To: alphadoggie

Oh my, an Islanders fan. Of all the franchises that were once great, yours is the one I see and wonder ‘what the heck did they do that team?’ A former Bruin takes some credit for running them into the ground (Milbury) with some of his bizarre trades and deals.

Thanks for the congrats, it feels really good. I couldn’t get up to Boston for the parade, but have a caught a bit of it on TV and will watch it later after I get some yard work done.


134 posted on 06/18/2011 10:17:35 AM PDT by Betis70 (Bruins!)
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To: chasio649

Why, yes. Yes, I am a freak. And I’m available, ladies.


135 posted on 06/18/2011 10:20:39 AM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: chasio649
Winning??? ;)

I hope so!


Built with SUSE Studio

If you can't appreciate the pure beauty of the violin after hearing this, something's wrong with your ears.

Or you can get raw with these strings. Either way, the violin is sweet yet lethal.

Do it!

136 posted on 06/18/2011 1:42:42 PM PDT by rdb3 (The mouth is the exhaust pipe of the heart.)
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To: qam1
Do you think a man or woman over 40 who has never been married is a freak?

No, but married women with hyphenated last names usually are.

137 posted on 06/18/2011 1:56:57 PM PDT by DTogo (High time to bring back the Sons of Liberty !!)
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To: NoGrayZone
Thanks!! I got it from you tube. I forget his name but he makes great Conservative videos. This one was about Islamophobia. I should have put his name after it.

The quote comes from Andrew Klavan of PJTV. It is an awesome quote.

138 posted on 06/19/2011 3:04:44 AM PDT by Tamar1973 (Germans in 1932 thought they were voting for change too.)
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To: Tamar1973; OriginalChristian
"The quote comes from Andrew Klavan of PJTV. It is an awesome quote."

Thank you! Now that I know his name I can bookmark it!

139 posted on 06/19/2011 9:59:37 AM PDT by NoGrayZone ("Islamophobia: The irrational fear of being beheaded.")
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To: Tamar1973; OriginalChristian
"The quote comes from Andrew Klavan of PJTV. It is an awesome quote."

Thank you! Now that I know his name I can bookmark it!

140 posted on 06/19/2011 9:59:45 AM PDT by NoGrayZone ("Islamophobia: The irrational fear of being beheaded.")
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