Posted on 09/28/2011 1:00:49 PM PDT by iowamark
bttt
REASONS WHY THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE IS HARD TO LEARN:
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.
19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?
LET’S FACE IT—ENGLISH IS A CRAZY LANGUAGE!!!
1)There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.
2) English muffins weren’t invented in England or French fries in France.
3) Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren’t sweet, are meat.
AND CONSIDER THIS......
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn’t the plural of booth beeth? Or, one goose, 2 geese? So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn’t it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend.
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what other language do people recite at a play and play at a recital?
Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
Marvel at the unique lunacy of a language where your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn’t a race at all).
That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
I find that I use the word “That” way too much.
I once asked a girl to read a paper I had written and correct errors. When she gave the paper back she had marked out a whole bunch of thats in addition to other corrections.
Another one which bothers me is random Capital letters. Some writers Insist on capitalizing words which They think are somehow Exalted in status. I think this comes From reading too many Comic books.
I will have to print this out for my yearbook and newspaper students. They need this badly.
I write in vernacular in certain situations, but never formally. For instance, when using instant messenger type programs I’ll write “prolly” or “fixin’”.
“which” is used in re to a choice.
“That” is used in re to a specific.
dam grammer nasties...
LOL
Yes, “he was hung” is attractive to women. “He was hanged,” not so much.
Interchanging “affect” and “effect”. Affect is the action. Effect is the result.
Also, people who use “are” for “our” get on my bad side.
Who’s and whose ...
Cloths and clothes (and close) ...
I’ve also noticed a disturbing increase in confusions of wear and where.
Another subtle one is “some time” versus “sometime.”
Its getting hard too tell wear a bodys’ at.
Or where are you going to? Cringe factor also.
I struggle with adviser/advisor
Excellent examples but hopefully we all know the definition of “dumb”...
You can pronounce the nonsense “ghiti” as the word “fish” ...
“gh” in the word “enough” sounds like an f.
“i” is, well, “i” (short i)
“ti” is a “sh” sound in words like addition.
I just thought people on FR should know that :-P.
Folks say that to sound smart. The same goes for using "myself" when "I" or "me" is appropriate.
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