(-:(-:(-:THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD:-):-):-)

[Lucky9teen]

[21stCenturion]

IN !!!

[ShadowAce]

[RandallFlagg]

IBTP!!

[Lucky9teen]

---

TIME FOR SOME


SUMMER


CLICK HERE TO BE INCLUDED OR TAKEN OFF THE LIST

---

[Twotone]

Old Butch

John was in the fertilized egg business.

He had several hundred young layers (hens), called ‘pullets,’ and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.

He kept records, and any rooster not performing went into the soup pot and was replaced.

This took a lot of time, so he bought some tiny bells and attached them to his roosters.

Each bell had a different tone, so he could tell from a distance, which rooster was performing.

Now, he could sit on the porch and fill out an efficiency report by just listening to the bells.

John’s favorite rooster, old Butch, was a very fine specimen, but this morning he noticed old Butch’s bell hadn’t rung at all!

When he went to investigate, he saw the other roosters were busy chasing pullets, bells-a-ringing, but the pullets, hearing the roosters coming, would run for cover.

To John’s amazement, old Butch had his bell in his beak, so it couldn’t ring.

He’d sneak up on a pullet, do his job and walk on to the next one.

John was so proud of old Butch, he entered him in the Saint Lawrence County Fair and he became an overnight sensation among the judges.

The result was the judges not only awarded old Butch the “No Bell Piece Prize,” but they also awarded him the “Pulletsurprise” as well.

Clearly old Butch was a politician in the making. Who else but a politician could figure out how to win two of the most coveted awards on our planet by being the best at sneaking up on the unsuspecting populace and screwing them when they weren’t paying attention.

[BelegStrongbow]

LOL!

[exit82]

In before 10!

[r-q-tek86]

Top 10

[dead]

[Archer24]

In

[Twotone]

HOW OLDER GUYS PICK UP CHICKS

I met a girl in the park the other evening. There was an instant spark between us. She did this cute little dance, then immediately dropped to her knees and laid on the grass at my feet. As we were making out, I thought, “Man, these Taser guns are well worth the money!”

[unique1]

Geez, Lucky - great job this week!

[Lucky9teen]

[Lucky9teen]

One day a woman’s husband died, and on that clear, cold morning, in the warmth of their bedroom, the wife was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn’t “anymore”.

No more hugs, no more special moments to celebrate together,
no more phone calls just to chat, no more “just one minute.”

Sometimes, what we care about the most gets all used up and goes away, never to return before we can say good-bye, say “I love you.”

So while we have it, it’s best we love it, care for it, fix it when it’s broken and heal it when it’s sick.

This is true for marriage.....And old cars... And children with bad report cards, and dogs with bad hips, and aging parents and grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it.

Some things we keep — like a best friend who moved away or a sister-in-law after divorce. There are just some things that make us happy, no matter what.

Life is important, like people we know who are special.. And so, we keep them close!

I received this from someone who thought I was a ‘keeper’ !

Then I sent it to the people I think of in the same way...

Now it’s your turn to send this to all those people who are ‘keepers’ in your life.

Suppose one morning you never wake up, do all your friends know you love them?

Let every one of your friends know you love them.

Even if you think they don’t love you back.

And just in case I’m gone tomorrow:

Please vote against Obama...

[sockhead]

Church Ladies With Typewriters — again

These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins
or were announced in church services:

The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.

---

The sermon this morning: ‘Jesus Walks on the Water.’
The sermon tonight: ‘Searching for Jesus.’

---

Ladies, don’t forget the rummage sale. It’s a chance
to get rid of those things not worth keeping around
the house. Bring your husbands.

---

Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community.
Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say ‘Hell’ to someone
who doesn’t care much about you.

---

Don’t let worry kill you off - let the Church help.

---

Miss Charlene Mason sang ‘I will not pass this way again,’
giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

---

For those of you who have children and don’t know it,
we have a nursery downstairs.

---

Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir.
They need all the help they can get.

---

Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on
October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship
that began in their school days.

---

A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in
the church hall. Music will follow..

---

At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic
will be ‘What Is Hell?’ Come early and listen to
our choir practice.

---

Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to
the addition of several new members and to the
deterioration of some older ones.

---

Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other
items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to
cripple children.

---

Please place your donation in the envelope along
with the deceased person you want remembered..

---

The church will host an evening of fine dining,
super entertainment and gracious hostility.

---

Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and
medication to follow.

---

The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing
of every kind. They may be seen in the basement
on Friday afternoon.

---

This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing
in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket
and come prepared to sin.

---

Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at
10 AM . All ladies are invited to lunch in the
Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.

---

The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the
Congregation would lend him their electric girdles
for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.

---

Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at
7 PM . Please use the back door.

---

The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare’s
Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM . The
congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

---

Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First
Presbyterian Church Please use large double door
at the side entrance.

---

The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new
campaign slogan last Sunday: ‘I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours’.

[JRios1968]

[JRios1968]

Bad day to be Tiger Woods' caddy:

[JRios1968]

Because I care for the health of my fellow FReepers!

[Lucky9teen]

For some reason I thought of you when I saw this: