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Chuck Norris Facts
Chuck Norris Facts ^
| 06/25/12
| chucknorrisfacts.com
Posted on 06/25/2012 3:32:21 AM PDT by barmag25
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These are great. The website has hundreds of them.
1
posted on
06/25/2012 3:32:27 AM PDT
by
barmag25
To: barmag25
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had 3 missed calls from Chuck Norris
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
Chuck Norris can jump out of a bottomless pit.
Chuck Norris doesn’t call the wrong number. You answer the wrong phone.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn’t dead it is just afriad to move.
Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
2
posted on
06/25/2012 3:59:03 AM PDT
by
barmag25
To: barmag25
Chuck Norris can play a drum solo on the guitar
3
posted on
06/25/2012 4:14:58 AM PDT
by
JRios1968
(I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
To: barmag25
4
posted on
06/25/2012 4:19:24 AM PDT
by
GreenLanternCorps
("Barack Obama" is Swahili for "Jimmy Carter".)
To: GreenLanternCorps
5
posted on
06/25/2012 4:28:30 AM PDT
by
barmag25
To: GreenLanternCorps
But Christopher Lee got to boff the prom queens...
;-)
6
posted on
06/25/2012 4:33:35 AM PDT
by
Jonah Hex
("To Serve Manatee" is a cookbook!)
To: barmag25
Chuck Norris once lit a fart in the Great Sahara Rain Forest.
7
posted on
06/25/2012 4:36:56 AM PDT
by
N. Theknow
(Kennedys=Can't drive, can't ski, can't fly, can't skipper a boat, but they know what's best for you.)
To: N. Theknow
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Death once had a near-Chuck Norris experience
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. His heart isn’t nearly foolish enough to attack him.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its decendants are known today as Giraffes.
Chuck Norris once got bit by a rattle snake........ After three days of pain and agony ..................the rattle snake died
8
posted on
06/25/2012 4:40:31 AM PDT
by
barmag25
To: barmag25
Superman wears Chuck Norris PJs to bed.
To: barmag25; All
Too much laughter on a Monday morning! LOL!
10
posted on
06/25/2012 4:41:31 AM PDT
by
Carriage Hill
(All libs & most dems think that life is just a sponge bath, with a happy ending.)
To: barmag25
Chuck Norris can bench press a iceberg.
Chuck Norris can fire Donald Trump.
Chuck Norris can leave a message before the beep.
11
posted on
06/25/2012 5:26:08 AM PDT
by
4yearlurker
(No matter who you elect,the government eventually gets in.)
To: barmag25
Chuck Norris can post to Free Republic using an abacus.
To: carriage_hill
Chuck Norris went to North Torrance H.S. (the Saxons!) as did ESPN’S Chris Mortensen and William Bonin (the Freeway Killer).
13
posted on
06/25/2012 5:42:44 AM PDT
by
gortklattu
(God knows who is best, everybody else is making guesses - Tony Snow)
To: barmag25; All
Chuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet.
He just scares the crap out of it.
14
posted on
06/25/2012 5:45:53 AM PDT
by
musicman
(Until I see the REAL Long Form Vault BC, he's just "PRES__ENT" Obama = Without "ID")
To: barmag25
15
posted on
06/25/2012 6:20:06 AM PDT
by
Conservative_Jedi
(Give me Liberty or give me Death!!)
To: barmag25; SpinnerWebb
My all time favorite ..
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.
16
posted on
06/25/2012 6:26:18 AM PDT
by
tx_eggman
(Liberalism is only possible in that moment when a man chooses Barabas over Christ.)
To: nhoward14
Chuck Norris can post on FR just by lurking.
Chuck Norris looked at the DU website and everyone signed in there peed their pants at the same time.
17
posted on
06/25/2012 6:32:44 AM PDT
by
longtermmemmory
(VOTE! http://www.senate.gov and http://www.house.gov)
To: barmag25
Chuck Norris is in the new Expendebles 2 movie. I read that he had them write out the F-word from the script, in order to get a PG-13 rating. Seriously.
18
posted on
06/25/2012 6:39:52 AM PDT
by
Paradox
(I want Obama defeated. Period.)
To: Jonah Hex
But, Christopher Lee later got pwned by Hayden Christiansen
19
posted on
06/25/2012 6:43:13 AM PDT
by
JRios1968
(I'm guttery and trashy, with a hint of lemon. - Laz)
To: barmag25
Chuck Norris sandpapered a wildcat’s ass in a telephone booth.
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