An elderly couple, Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas. Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, ‘Notice anything different about me?’
Margaret looked him over. ‘Nope.’
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, ‘Notice anything different NOW?’
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, ‘Bert, what’s different? It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow!’
Furious, Bert yelled, ‘AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?’
‘Nope’, she replied.
‘IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!’
Without changing her expression, Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert. Shoulda bought a hat.”
Apparently, Bert had some big foots to bill.
An elderly woman in my town is known for her dead accurate ability to forecast the weather.
The local TV station sent out one of it’s young reporters to interview the sweet old woman and find her secret.
“Well, it’s simple dear,”, says. “In the morning, I wake before my husband of 60 years, Henry. As I get out of bed, I pull down the sheets and if “it” is laying in his left side, we’ll have rain. It “it” is laying on his right side, it will be a gorgeous sunny day.”
Sensing that a well placed smart alec question could be the young reporter’s path to an anchor desk, he asked, “And what if “it” is in the middle, hmmmmm ??” with a wink.
“Oh don’t be naive, sonny. If that’s the case, I don’t get out of bed !”