An adaptation of “A Few Good Men”...
CAST:
MEP Engineer: Jack Nicholson
Architect: Tom Cruise
MEP Engineer: You want answers?
Architect: I think I’m entitled to them.
MEP Engineer: You want answers?!
Architect: I want the truth!
MEP Engineer: You can’t HANDLE the truth!!
Son, we live in a world that has CHILLERS, BOILERS AND SWITCHGEAR. And those PIECES OF EQUIPMENT have to be LOCATED IN ROOMS. Who’s gonna DESIGN THEM? You? You, MR. ARCHITECT? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
You weep for LOST PARKING SPACES and you curse the SIZE OF MY GENERATOR. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that THOSE MEP SYSTEMS, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives...You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at parties, you WANT me on that DESIGN TEAM. You NEED me on that DESIGN TEAM. We use words like DESIGN, CODE, ANALYSIS...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent PROVIDING OWNER COMFORT AND ENERGY EFFICIENCY. You use ‘em as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain my DESIGN to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very ENVIRONMENT I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a DUCTULATOR and DESIGN a BUILDING SYSTEM. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!
Architect : Did you OVERSIZE THE MECHANICAL AND ELECTRICAL ROOMS?
MEP Engineer : (quietly) I did the job you HIRED me to do.
Architect : Did you OVERSIZE THE MECHANICAL AND ELECTRICAL ROOMS?!!
MEP Engineer : You’re g-ddamn right I did!!