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The Freeper's Guide to Vacuum Cleaners
Free Republic | 8/12/2013 | Golux

Posted on 08/12/2013 10:43:30 AM PDT by golux

Vacuum Cleaners: The Freeper's Guide

Here, in a nutshell, are the critical basics on vacuum cleaners. These facts will be of use if you are buying a new or new-to-you one.

Thanks to the babel of modern advertising and increasingly shoddy manufacturing standards, FACTS are harder to find, and little known. Here they are.

No brand names are mentioned in this piece.

There are two general kinds of vacuum cleaners: canister vacs and upright vacs. I will not talk about in-home central vacs. The question of what kind of vac to choose is purely yours, but many who vacuum thicker carpets choose the heft of uprights. Also, these vacs, because of their heft (by this I mean weight over the target area) are often thought to have more effective roller brushes.

Canisters are at their best when they follow you around like a puppy dog. They also have the potentiality for having stronger motors (since they roll around behind you,) and being easier to handle. If you like vacuuming the labyrinth under your dining room table with speed and agility, as I do, a high-suction canister vac with a nimble attachment is your best choice.

Roller brushes have only one important job, no matter what the salesmen tell you: it is to agitate the fibers of a carpet so that particles may more easily be sucked up. A good roller brush is powered independently, not by suction.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO CONSIDER in buying a vacuum cleaner is SUCTION. Not "no suction loss," not "cyclone suction," not "anticyclone suction," not "magic water suction," none of that matters... What matters is SUCTION. Suction is power, and you can feel it. If you are doing parquet floors, if you are doing shag carpets, the number one thing is suction. The better your vac sucks, the more time it saves you (or your housekeeper) and the cleaner your home will be.

How do you measure suction? Never mind the TV ads or the salesman with the handful of dirt or rice. Feel it with your hands. When it's turned up (yes, you really do want variable speed) does the vac feel like it really "sticks" to your floor or carpet? It should.

No amount of clear lucite, gadgety words, fancy descriptive labels, space-shippy looking doo-dads or inspiring advertising can make up for SUCTION. And just because a company claims to have good suction does not mean it's products do. The vacuum business is full of lies and shedazzle.

One of the reasons I am writing this for my FRiends is because I have never, in my life, seen so much advertising and so much genuine product loyalty surrounding absolutely terrible products. (I run a small, successful advertising agency and we have been specialists in the vacuum trade, local and national, for over 15 years. I am also personally a fan of fine vacuum cleaners and love to use and study them.) Much of what you will find on the shelves today - and many of these units sell for hundreds of dollars! - is absolute junk wrapped in pretty ribbons and award-winning advertising. It's sad to see.

(Why won't you find high-quality vacuum cleaners, used, at your local thrift store? Because your local "sew n vac" guy got there first or got the call when it came in. He "serviced" it, (opened it up, sprayed and wiped it off, replaced the power cord maybe,) and put it on his shelves for sale.


What is also important is a SEALED SYSTEM. If your motor is more powerful than the housings that keep dust, dirt, and dander from pushing back out into the surrounding air, your vacuum cleaner is effectively just an "aeresolizer," worsening the air quality in your home. Look for o-rings, feel for drafts, FEEL the unit. Is it simple? Does it close with a pleasing "thwup?"

When turned on, is it quiet and strong? Quiet strength is a good preliminary indicator of both a sealed system and a good quality motor.

HEPA and "S-class" HEPA filtration means nothing if the system is not completely sealed. The higher grade (or smaller micron gauge) the filtration, the more difficult it is for the air to pass through the post filter, and the more likely it is that unfiltered air is escaping into your home. If you have kids or families with allergies, this is a very, very bad thing.

Do you get what you pay for? Yes, on the whole. At the same time, good ads and a heavy price tag are no guarantee of quality.

I urge you to be suspicious of gushing reviews: many vacuum owners rave for years about their first half decent vacuum, until they use a truly great one. Don't trust your friends.

Many companies - a few in particular - who made absolutely marvelous vacuum cleaners ten or twenty years ago have unfortunately succumbed to the natural temptations of business and have quite drastically cheapened and worsened their products. A vacuum dealer who admits this and can discuss these trends openly is someone you can trust... More than others.

Finally, on the subject of vacuum dealers, I do encourage you to visit them, to speak with them, and to do your purchasing with them. You may save ten or twenty dollars buying your unit from a big retailer (if they do happen to carry a unit you want) but you will miss out on all of the advantages in education, service, "freebies," and general mutual loyalty that come with buying from an expert in the field.

That is enough for now. I hope these words may prove helpful now or in the future to you and yours. Happy vacuuming! Freepmail me if I may be of particular assistance.



TOPICS: Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: vacuum; vacuumcleaners
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To: golux

Portland has a vacuum cleaner museum. No postcards, though, for those who want to send them to their favorite neat freaks.

81 posted on 08/12/2013 7:11:26 PM PDT by firebrand
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To: ApplegateRanch
If I had tile floors......

I've worked in commercial kitchens. I've cleaned floors many times with a hose and a squeegee.


82 posted on 08/12/2013 7:18:32 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: ApplegateRanch
The movie is good; and follows the narrative of the book quite closely. As a long time fan of Ernie Kovacs, I enjoyed it too.
83 posted on 08/12/2013 7:45:27 PM PDT by Old North State
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To: JRandomFreeper

These guys don’t get that the thing about vacuum cleaners is that someone has to use it on a regular basis.

I like one that has quick attachments for all the tasks I want to do so I can edge and nook clean, a stair attachment, a brush and then switch right back to floor cleaning with on-board storage of the tool I was using.

When I end up with some time at home I like to do some room cleaning as my eyesight is better than my sweetie’s and I can find things that she can’t see.

84 posted on 08/12/2013 8:37:07 PM PDT by KC Burke (Officially since Memorial Day they are the Gimmie-crat Party.)
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To: Chickensoup
Miele ten years old and going strong

A Miele is a fairly good vacuum still. A ten year old Miele is a great vacuum. A fifteen-year old Miele? You'd have to rob a house to get one.
85 posted on 08/12/2013 9:04:28 PM PDT by golux
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To: KC Burke
someone has to use it on a regular basis.

Absolutely. Spring and Autumnal Equinox, when I check the smoke detector batteries. Regular as clockwork. Twice a year. ;)


86 posted on 08/13/2013 6:10:10 AM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: ASouthernGrl

May your dream come true soon! Carpeting is wall-to-wall DIRTY LAUNDRY. Filthy, full of dust, dust mites, dirt, bacteria, and an invisible cloud of it gets roiled up with every step you take. By far the most unhealthy disgusting thing in your house!

87 posted on 08/13/2013 2:34:30 PM PDT by HomeAtLast
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