I went to the doctor and he told me I needed an operation
Me: “Gee, Doc! Are you sure. I’d like a second opinion.”
Doc: “A second opinion? Ok. Here’s one. You’re ugly!”
Man goes to busy doctor, and says “Doc, I’ve got this terrible cold, what can I do?”
Doctor is annoyed but jots down his prescription and hands it to the guy.
It reads: “Drink 8 ounces orange juice and warm bath nightly for seven days. Call.”
A week later the man calls. Doctor asks, “Have you been following my prescription?”
Man says, “I can’t do it.”
“Why’s that?”
“Drinking the juice isn’t a problem but drinking that warm bath is just too much.”