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Chinese Mum Lied to Daughter That She Was Adopted to 'Encourage her Independence'
Mirror ^ | 9/14 | David Raven

Posted on 09/15/2013 12:35:45 PM PDT by nickcarraway

When Shen feared her daughter Cheng Cheng was becoming 'spoilt and arrogant' she tried a controversial parenting technique

A Chinese mother lied to her daughter for 13 years saying that she was adopted to give her 'more independence'.

The mum, known only as Shen, married into a wealthy family and had a child called Cheng Cheng.

But Shen struggled while bringing her daughter up and thought she was becoming spoilt and arrogant, Chinese media claim.

So instead of disciplining her, Shen thought it would be a good idea to try a new parenting technique.

She told Cheng Cheng when she was growing up: "Your real mother died a long time ago.

"I'm not your real mother, I'm just providing for your education up until you finish university. After that don't count on my help anymore."

It is then claimed that once Cheng Cheng eventually believed her mother's words to be true, she started working harder.

Her academic performance improved, her arrogant traits began to disappear and the girl became “sensible and obedient," Shenyang Evening News claim.

This was apparently followed by Cheng Cheng choosing to live on campus where she passed her university course with flying colours and landed a job at a top Shanghai software company.

Only after her success did Shen reveal the harsh truth to her daughter, who was understandably confused.

But the mum defended her controversial parenting technique.

She said: "My daughter is beautiful, she has a successful career making over 6,000 yuan every month and she’s now married to a good husband.

“There may be some people who do not agree with my methods, but if I had [told her the truth], she would have just been satisfied in her existing environment and wouldn’t have the motivation and prospects that she has now.”

Shen faced a huge backlash of criticism in China after the story was published with many saying her child could have several psychological scars from her ordeal.


TOPICS: Local News; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: adoption; china; parenting; psychology

1 posted on 09/15/2013 12:35:45 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

What’s wrong with saying, “I’m your mother and because
I love you I will not do anything to help you after college so grow up, or you will be homeless.


2 posted on 09/15/2013 12:38:31 PM PDT by Fzob (In matters of style, swim with the current; in matters of principle, stand like a rock. Jefferson)
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To: Fzob
What’s wrong with saying, “I’m your mother and because I love you I will not do anything to help you after college so grow up, or you will be homeless.

Because kids are smarter than you think to buy that from their real mother (or rarely, father, if they have one). Especially when they're armed with puppy-eyes stares.

3 posted on 09/15/2013 12:41:40 PM PDT by James C. Bennett (An Australian.)
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To: Fzob

Something tells me this girl won’t be spending a lot of time visiting the assisted living home.


4 posted on 09/15/2013 12:42:50 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: nickcarraway

Dad must not have been around. I’m torn but the child did do well. Child will be pissed for awhile but mom probably loves the child to pieces and would rather the child not love her if it meant that the child would be ultimately successful.


5 posted on 09/15/2013 12:42:57 PM PDT by mdmathis6
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To: nickcarraway

Bill Cosby has a joke about his brother Russell. He told Russell that his real parents were the police! LOL!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JPn3c_BMg_8


6 posted on 09/15/2013 12:50:57 PM PDT by Jack Hydrazine (I’m not a Republican, I'm a Conservative! Pubbies haven't been conservative since before T.R.)
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To: James C. Bennett
Mine both believed me when I told them the money spigot ran dry when they turned 18. Both were enlisted at 17 and now doing well with families of their own.

Puppy dog eyes didn't get 'em anything.

/johnny

7 posted on 09/15/2013 12:56:19 PM PDT by JRandomFreeper (Gone Galt)
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To: Fzob

That’s so wrong that it qualifies as crazy.


8 posted on 09/15/2013 12:56:44 PM PDT by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: mdmathis6

That’s if you measure success only in material terms.


9 posted on 09/15/2013 12:58:07 PM PDT by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: nickcarraway

This would have never worked for me as my kids are spitting images of either myself or their father. The biological link is obvious.

Typical Tiger Mom story though, willing to make any sacrifice for the success of their offspring.


10 posted on 09/15/2013 1:02:55 PM PDT by Valpal1 (If the police can t solve a problem with brute force, they ll find a way to fix it with brute force)
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To: Fzob

bump


11 posted on 09/15/2013 1:03:58 PM PDT by GeronL
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To: kabumpo

that is pretty crazy


12 posted on 09/15/2013 1:04:47 PM PDT by GeronL
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To: Fzob

How about “You were adopted, but they broughr you back.”


13 posted on 09/15/2013 1:14:37 PM PDT by Dan(9698)
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To: nickcarraway

A few years from now, this mother will be complaining that her daughter doesn’t call enough.


14 posted on 09/15/2013 2:08:03 PM PDT by Ellendra ("Laws were most numerous when the Commonwealth was most corrupt." -Tacitus)
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To: nickcarraway

Found out recently that many years ago my oldest/adopted daughter used to lie and tell her younger sister that she was adopted. Mean but not without a little funny irony.


15 posted on 09/15/2013 2:13:40 PM PDT by Red Dog #1
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To: Ellendra

A well-deserved state of affairs.


16 posted on 09/15/2013 2:19:10 PM PDT by nickcarraway
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To: kabumpo

Child was not doing well morally and socially as well as materially. She grows up a productive married person....


17 posted on 09/15/2013 2:28:28 PM PDT by mdmathis6
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To: mdmathis6

You don’t know what she is really like, how she feels, and how she will treat her own children.


18 posted on 09/15/2013 3:39:36 PM PDT by kabumpo (Kabumpo)
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To: kabumpo

You’re right of course and some context and details were probably lost in translation and in how the story was edited.


19 posted on 09/15/2013 4:22:08 PM PDT by mdmathis6
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To: nickcarraway

No relatives around to ask questions when she slept overnight in their homes? I always looked forward to seeing how others in my family lived, and hearing stories of how my parents were when growing up. Some single moms I know become best friends/ only friends with their child, because the moms have lost their trust in men, and don’t want to be judged by a new potential friend. Women can be very critical of each other and will expect a close friend to tell them all.


20 posted on 09/15/2013 5:50:26 PM PDT by lee martell
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