>>My retardo neighbors have two butt-ugly dogs that repeatedly chase me and my girlfriend when we get out of our car.<<
If your nick didn’t include “Seattle” I would say the obvious: don’t get out of your car unless you are armed and then SHOOT THEM.
In your case, there are more um subtle ways to obviate animals who have um constant hunger...
Years back when my kids were teens, our next door neighbor had a couple of Shelties...yapping all the time...one bit the neighbor on the other side of their house in the stomach when she walked out the door...the kids had their dogs in the front yard without being ab le to control them...one time my son was getting out of his car and the dog ran at him, took him by surprise and he jumped on the hood of his car.....the next time when the dog came running at him, he dropped kicked it back onto the lawn. Doggie didn’t come after him again. Son was 6’2 well built and no one messed with him much...but glad they were not pit bulls or the neighbor that got bit would have been in big trouble.