Posted on 05/23/2014 5:38:26 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
Sorry. It was done unknowingly. :)
That was harder to find.
LOL!
A Russian guy is entering Canada. He's at the customs counter. Customs agent looks at his passport and asks "Nationality?" "Russian" "Occupation?" ""No, just visiting".
Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad and is told to meet the inspector at the signal box.
The inspector decides to give Tom a pop quiz, asking: "What would you do if you realised that two trains were heading towards each other on the same track?" Tom says: "I would switch one train to another track".
"What if the lever broke?" asks the inspector. "Then I'd run down to the tracks and use the manual lever down there" answers Tom. "What if that had been struck by lightning?" challenges the inspector.
"Then" Tom continued "I'd run back up here and use the phone to call the next signal box".
"What if the phone was busy?" "In that case" Tom argued "I'd run to the street level and use the public phone near the station".
"What if that had been vandalised?" "Oh well" said Tom "In that case I would run into town and get my Uncle Leo".
This puzzled the inspector, so he asked "Why would you do that?" "Because he's never seen a train crash!"
A guy dials his home phone from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says "Who is this?" "This is the maid" answered the woman. "We don't have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house".
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Umm... she's upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband".
The guy is fuming. He says to the maid "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?"
"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she is with". The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by two gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What?! There's no pool here?"
Long pause... "Uh... is this 922-1181?"
That’s a good one. LOL!
I still have all of the IPW cards on my office computer as well as the PhotoShop base file. If you need an “original”, let me know.
I had... mind you HAD... to go out to the Colonial Golf Tournament on Friday, so I missed this.
I can’t remember the file name of the monkey with the HP calculator else I would post it. I think I even have one with a birthday hat on for F/A day
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