Please help! Trying to quit alcohol but facing challenges from family.

myself | July Fourth, 2014 | myself

[trisham]

I don’t know what to tell you, except that one of my sisters died in April after either falling or being pushed off of a train overpass. She was drunk. She left her husband, children, first grandchild and her siblings.

Her immediate family knew that she had a serious drinking problem, but we were told that she had a stroke. I wish that we had known the truth.

Not only is alcohol hard on the body, it can result in death in other ways. Take care of yourself, friend, and please keep in touch. I will pray for you.

[goldi]

Make sure you get three good meals a day. Sometimes people forget to eat and go for the alcohol.

[Ditter]

I think you have gotten some good advice here along with some snarks. Ignore the snarks and the best of luck to you.

[Fightin Whitey]

Louis Foxwell is right.

You have to decide if you want to drink yourself to death, or if you want to quit.

AA works. I know it does.

But you have to want to quit, and you have to work at it.

You have to go to meetings and make not drinking as much a part of who you are as drinking has been for you.

You will be amazed at the fineness of life when you are sober. It won’t be perfect, won’t always be easy. But it is way, way, way, way better.

Don’t think about your husband’s reactions right now, and your family’s reaction, all of that. You need to stop drinking, first and foremost, in order to survive.

If you are someone who thinks she can do it alone, or do it later, or only drink part-time...then you are lost.

You will die a lonely frightened drunk.

I will end by saying that posts on a website, while perhaps offering some good advice, just won’t get it done either.

You have to want to quit. And you have to work at it.

[caww]

.....”Maybe he’s tired of living with an alcoholic. I did it for 6 years and I had to retire from it. Its exhausting.”.....

I’ve often believed it’s harder for family members than it is the alcoholic. I work with a bright young gal with two children who finally left her husband because her daughters had become toddlers and she could see they were being affected by his behavior. Today she has remarried to a wonderful man who loves these little gals like his own. Meanwhile the father remains an alcoholic.

Sometimes no matter what a family member does...it will never change the alcoholic....they have no other choice but to remove themselves from the situation altogether.

[don-o]

I was reading some bad news from the AA Big Book this morning (available on line.) It tells me that no amount of self knowledge (which would include correct thinking) or will power, can provide the alcoholic with a sure defense against the first drink. A power greater than myself must be found.

For me, even though I had been in church and was very active, I got no power to help me. On reflection over the years, I can see that was my own fault.

However, in the AA fellowship, I found my first power greater than myself; that being the AA group I was meeting with.

The recovery threads here always bring out those who will attack the seeker as well as attack AA. The less said about that the better. Find what you need and ignore the rest (including me.)

[E. Pluribus Unum]

Ibogaine Detox

[UnwashedPeasant]

This might not all apply to you, but here is general advice:

1. Do not hurt yourself to hurt someone else or make them feel guilty.
2. Do not use someone else's behavior as an excuse to do something you know is wrong.
3. You are not responsible for the bad behavior of other people.
4. When someone baits you into a fight, you do not have to take the bait.
5. If you can take a "vacation" away from an abusive relationship, it can give you some perspective.
6. Quit drinking permanently and completely. Otherwise, you would be constantly teasing and tempting yourself.
7. Find a substitute, benign habit. Many people follow a bad habit because they are fidgety or need a habit; this is why people sometimes get fat when they stop smoking and start eating snacks instead. Other people become workaholics, health nuts, joggers, etc. You might need something in your hands to fidget with. Maybe drink a quart of water or eat a couple carrot sticks or take a shower or do 50 sit-ups. (Of course, if your substitute habit is annoying or ridiculous, it might provoke conflict; then again, this might be OK because it is better to have conflict over something benign than over alcohol.)
8. To repair your liver, use Himalaya Livercare (also called Liv.52). This very effective herbal product is sold as medicine in India, and Bodybuilders use this after they mess up their livers with steroids.

[UnwashedPeasant]

Agreed. If you can get Ibogaine, that would be the way to go.

[FlyingEagle]

You are not helping our FRiend

[GeronL]

Probably killed off the temptation pretty quickly

[Ditter]

The only reason I ever had to actually want to drink is because the people who were drinking seemed to be having more fun than I was.

I think my father had the same problem that I did. He rarely drank anything but when he did I can remember how sick he was. Mother, east Texas Baptist raised, never drank EVER. :)

[LonePalm]

Find your closest AA group and get in the middle of it until it is in the middle of you. If you are serious about wanting to be sober things will get better before you know it. If you are not serious, nothing you do will help.

8 1/2 years sober next month. AA quite literally saved my life. You may always FReep Mail me with any questions you don't wish to publicly post.

Garde la Foi, mes amis! Nous nous sommes les sauveurs de la République! Maintenant et Toujours!
(Keep the Faith, my friends! We are the saviors of the Republic! Now and Forever!)
LonePalm, le Républicain du verre cassé (The Broken Glass Republican)

[is_is]

AA......90 meetings in 90 days.....

[Chickensoup]

AA immedizately, like right now.

Sponsor immediately.

Inpatient treatment, this week.

Or a good intensive outpatient program.

Ask hubby for forgivenss, it can’t be fun watching you get sloshed.

There are meds that can help if your dr recommends them, Naltrexone, Anabuse...

Sometimes a good antidepressant can help.

But it is mostly what AA teaches, which is that you are powerless to control alcohol and it controls you, and that you need help in fighting it, and that you need to take a realistic look at who you are and what you have become.

[TNoldman]

Look for a Celebrate Recovery Group. CR is AA12 steps with Bible Based help. CR is associated with Community Churches. It worked for me- you need Jesus in your heart.

Thank you for admitting your problem - Your at Step 1 - keep going - may God Bless you.

[Chickensoup]

If you are taking lactulose, you have been drinking heavily and your liver is failing. This is not a lifestyle change here. You are going to die if you continue to drink.

I would start with AA and inpatient.

[RoadGumby]

That was a graceful response to a coarse posting.