Posted on 09/23/2014 6:28:54 AM PDT by SeekAndFind
Yes.
I have read that parents who don’t spank yell more. Kids eyes will glaze over while they wait for the rant to end, learning nothing and not changing the behavior.
The one time I got the belt I had black-and-blue marks for a week...
It’s been 40 years and I STILL won’t tell a lie to my Father.
Used appropriately, negative physical feedback can be very effective. Used too much, and it can have an opposite effect as we see in cases of generational abuse.
This brain trust is completely disregarding the effect that the kids' social group has on their attitude. IMHO spanking was not meted out often enough, nor to the right subject.
“spanking inhibits the learning process . . . It leads to anger, depression, violence and alcohol and drug abuse. It breeds hostility toward authority . . . and spawns other antisocial behaviors. Physical punishment, he continues is associated with legions of sullen, angry, violence-prone boys . . . “
Evidence, please. (not poster, the person quoted).
I was spanked rarely and rarely spanked, but when I was or did, it was because other methods failed to work or the bad behavior was such that it could get someone killed (or worse).
Last resort, never in anger, rare, but sometimes necessary.
Punishment needs to be effective to create self-discipline in children. Spanking does that. I’m not sure whether there are more effective ways for most parents to instill that self-discipline. I suspect there may be but whether there are or not, its better to spank and have a child who can control himself or herself and be responsible for his or her own actions than a wild little terror who grows up to be irresponsible, lazy, unproductive and a net drain on society and his or her family.
There is a difference between a spanking and a beating.
We live in an era in which critical masses of parents do “time outs” rather than spanking.
I think we would all agree that beating children, physical assault, is not what we want to see happen. We want to see appropriate discipline, sometimes physical if needed.
Years ago, parents were free to spank their children. Now they aren’t.
Years ago, schools were allowed to administer corporal punishment. Now they aren’t. Nowadays, it’s against the law for authorities in schools to physically touch a child, otherwise be charged with assault.
Anecdotal evidence is that there are many ill mannered misbehaving children and teens when you go out in public. I think part of that is that parents today are not allowed to discipline children in the same manner as past generations could do.
What Adrian Peterson did was not spanking and he should be kicked out of the NFL and put in jail.
Hits with a belt that left black and blue marks that lasted a week? You were abused. Doesn’t mean your father didn’t love you; doesn’t mean that he wasn’t a good father over all; but it does mean that, at least on that occasion, you were abused.
“What Adrian Peterson did was not spanking and he should be kicked out of the NFL and put in jail.”
I have to agree with this - based on what I’ve heard, and provided that the facts are correct.
My opinion is, as general rule of thumb any type of punishment done with anger is likely to be ultimately ineffective and to lead to resentment. I know abuse, personally, and it was always done with almost a competitive ‘I’ll show you, I win/you lose’ mocking and/or hateful type of demeanor. That’s how you know the difference.
Further, I don’t buy the ‘it’s part of my culture’ argument. It’s not a legitimate excuse for causing physical injuries to a child. Slavery was also a ‘part of the culture’ at one time. That obviously didn’t make it right.
As with anything a parent must mete out punishment in calmer moments, not when you're angry. With my own kids I think spankings are best used for immediate behavior modification, and not as punishment per se. And thankfully I rarely have to do it.
What we have here is the same situation we have with the use of guns, food, and cold medicine: Because a few people abuse something then EVERYONE must stop doing it immediately, or their liberties MUST be stifled with more laws.
Your opinion.
Didn’t we just go through this about a week ago?
Watching videos during Time Out is NOT “Time Out”, so your criticism makes no sense. That’s akin to saying, “I know a family that took their kids to church every Sunday, and the kids sat in the church basement, watching Super Hero videos, while the parents were upstairs in the actual church...and the kids are now terrors...so don’t take your kids to church.”
I always laugh a time out a bit. It assumes a somewhat compliant child. Mine would just get up and leave from the chair unless physically restrained.
We resorted to taking away blankets/stuffed animals, putting the dog out, no dinner, etc.
I’ve just finished the draft for a book, regarding kids who totally own their parents.
Spanking is discussed as an option, along with about 60 other things a parent can do to subdue an incorrigible child. Just be wise about it.
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