Giving Mankato cop a double 'wet Willy' lands man in jail

Mankato Press/Pioneer Press ^ | 10-21-14 | Dan Nienaber

[TurboZamboni]

MANKATO, Minn. -- Giving a stranger a wet Willy could get you an annoying look, a profanity riddled verbal response or even a punch in the nose.

When that stranger is a police officer on duty, it turns out it's a crime -- one that a Mankato officer thought was more than an extra gross misdemeanor. He responded to the wet pokes to his ears by hauling the perpetrator off to the pokey and requesting a felony charge.

Armed with two freshly licked fingers, a former Kiester man home on leave from the Air Force thought it would be funny to give the officer the Willies. Riley Louis Swearingen, 24, of Goldsboro, N.C., was getting on the "drunk bus" after the downtown bars closed early Saturday when he allegedly licked a finger on each hand and stuck them into the ears of a police sergeant.

The officer was not amused, and Swearingen was immediately arrested, said Cmdr. Jeremy Clifton of the Mankato Department of Public Safety. The sergeant was on the bus talking

[driftdiver]

imagine having to explain that one to your first sgt

[Jonty30]

The response from a non-police officers might be those things, but it is still assault under the law and could land somebody in jail, cop of not.

[TurboZamboni]

From Swearingen to sectioned out...

[left that other site]

Sure hope he didn’t have ebola.

[TurboZamboni]

Obola already said you can’t get ebola on a bus.

[UCANSEE2]

Since I am not 12 years old, if someone did that to me, I would have a very extreme reaction. It's like having someone stick their hands down your pants.

Someone's gonna have a broken wrist.

[left that other site]

Except that a Wet Willie transmits Body Fluids.

[UCANSEE2]

Obola already said you can’t get ebola on a bus.

No, what he said was you can't get a boa on a bus. And as usual he was wrong.

[Billthedrill]

Riley Louis Swearingen, 24, of Goldsboro, N.C., was getting on the "drunk bus" after the downtown bars closed early Saturday when he allegedly licked a finger on each hand and stuck them into the ears of a police sergeant.

It's late - or more accurately, early in the AM - you're drunk, 24, and you think it would be a good idea to stick your wet fingers in a cop's ears.

And you only get arrested. Son, it's your lucky day.

[left that other site]

That bus is suffering from a Reptile Dysfunction.

[cableguymn]

looks like the reptile is functioning properly to me ;)

[left that other site]

Yeah, but if it lasts more than four hours, consult a physician!

[TurboZamboni]

Just ask Monica

[left that other site]

She’s in the news again, BTW.

[4Runner]

That bus is suffering from a Reptile Dysfunction.

That's gotta be the post of the evening.

[left that other site]

Awwww...Thanks for your SUPPORT! LOL!

[VeniVidiVici]

Aww geez. So how about giving him an Indian sunburn in return?

I swear, some cops are wound too tight. A felony? Really?

[definitelynotaliberal]

I’m just amazed that people think to touch other people without their invitation or permission. What a jackass!

[HandyDandy]

“Indian sunburn”!!! Thanks for that! I haven’t heard that in over forty years!