Not if you like hills and trees and water you can actually drink if you want...
Posted on 11/14/2014 5:04:59 AM PST by Lucky9teen
Grandfathers don’t know everything:
Hunter was 4 years old and was staying with his grandfather for a few days. He’d been playing outside with the other kids, when he came into the house and asked, ‘Grandpa, what’s that called when two people sleep in the same bedroom and one is on top of the other?’
His Grandpa was a little taken aback, but he decided to tell him the truth.
‘Well, Hunter, it’s called sexual intercourse.’
‘Oh,’ Little Hunter said, ‘OK,’ and went back outside to play with the other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, ‘Grandpa, it isn’t called sexual intercourse. It’s called Bunk Beds. And Jimmy’s mom wants to talk to you.’
Not if you like hills and trees and water you can actually drink if you want...
President will not only pardon this year’s WH turkey again, it will receive a work permit and a driver’s license.
Two come to mind:
Food, Glorious Food!
and
Eat It! (Weird Al)
woooo hooooooo Top 1,060,921
and free healthcare.....and earned income tax credit.....
a snail goes into a Nissan car dealership and wants to buy a 370Z sports car.
After discussing price and all, the snail tells the salesman that the one “option” he wants is to have the “Z” removed from the name plate and replaced with a “S”.
When the snail is asked why, he replies “When I drive fast, I want people to stop and say - “Hey! Look at that “S” car go !!”
Me: “I just got a new hearing aid!”
My friend: “oh yeah!? What kind is it?”
Me: “10 O’clock!”
Are the people working in the comet rocket mission called Philae Landerers?
With apologies to Roy Orbison and Van Halen:
Ugly woman, walking down the street
Ugly woman, I never want to meet
Ugly woman, I can’t believe you it must be true
No one could look as gross as you
Ugly woman get away
Ugly woman it’s not OK
Ugly woman stay away from me
Ugly woman just walk on by
Ugly woman you make me cry
Ugly woman – just walk away-ay
Okay
Why don’t you go on home it’s late
And try tomorrow night….but wait, what do I see?
She’s walking back to me
OH, NO!!! UGLY WOMAN!!
“Hey, Hey, We’re the Monkees” ???
Glad to see you have McCoy barefoot.
The farmer squints, scratches his beard and says "Son, I've lived here all my life and it ain't gone nowhere yet."
Post 31, love it. LOL.
Song “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina”. I think that might fit since she’s the wife of a dictator.
Q: What do you call a stupid liberal?
A: Normal.
Q: What do you call a smart liberal?
A: Evil.
Q: What do you call a really evil liberal?
A: Senator.
Q: What do you call a liberal paradise, where everyone is treated equally, and there is free food, shelter and health care for everyone?
A: Prison.
Q: What do you call The Greatest Lie Ever Told?
A: Obamacare.
Q: What do you call a really bad case of diarrhea?
A: Professor Gruber.
Q: What do you call the lowest labor force participation rate in a generation?
A: The Obama Recovery.
Q: What do you call the act of wasting $7 trillion to create no jobs?
A: Stimulus, or The Obama Re-election Campaign Fund.
Q: What do you call a hypocrite that stiffs her interns while demanding others get a minimum wage?
A: Senator Warren.
Q: What do you call a combination of graft, corruption and lies?
A: Business as usual for Democrats.
Q: What do you call a steady decline of America’s middle class, credit rating and foreign policy?
A: Hope and change.
Q: What do you call the act of destroying American middle class jobs?
A: Amnesty, together with a higher minimum wage.
Q: What do you call a woman who can’t stop lying?
A: Hillary.
Q: What do you call someone with the ethics of Bernie Madoff and the all the charm of a case of Ebola?
A: Senator Reid.
Q: What do you call the economic goal of liberals?
A: Socialism.
Q: What do you call economic cancer?
A: Socialism.
Q: What do you call someone who hates America more than Zero?
A: Trick Question! No such person exists.
Perpetual motion!
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