Posted on 12/04/2014 7:36:02 PM PST by Morgana
Marie Ideson was just over 16 weeks pregnant with a Down Syndrome child.
“I was bullied into going ahead with an abortion,” says Ideson, 46, a GP surgery manager. “I only wish I could turn back the clock. I think of the daughter I never had every day. I’ll always regret it.”
Ideson had an amniocentesis to determine if the baby she was carrying was disabled. She was told it was a routine part of pre-natal care. Four days later, she received a call from the hospital:
“A woman said, ‘I’m sorry to say your baby has Down.’ It was devastating. My first thought was, how will we cope?
“I told Allan I wanted to keep the baby and he agreed.”
Then she went into talk to the doctor, hoping that he would help her in her decision to keep her baby.
“We believed the hospital would be able to offer us reassurance that with the latest medical help, our baby would be OK. But doctors said she could be born needing emergency heart surgery and have bowel and muscle tone problems - and that was if she survived. At no time did anyone suggest we might keep our baby. A termination was presented as the only way forward.”
“A nurse said not aborting my baby would cause it to suffer, and she’d only become a burden on society if I went ahead. She even said, ‘99 per cent of women in your situation wouldn’t want the baby.’ Having it would be a burden on our other children, too, she said, especially if it was likely to need many operations throughout its life.
“Our children were at the hospital with us. I looked at them and thought the medical staff must be right.”
She decided to have the abortion, and took the tablet that would induce a miscarriage.
“I felt numb as I swallowed the tablet. I remember saying to Allan, ‘I just want to keep my baby.’ But he just kept saying, ‘But they must think the baby’s really bad, Marie - it’s for the best.’”
When she actually delivered her child, stillborn, she realized what a terrible mistake she had made.
“She was so small, but otherwise perfect. I started sobbing uncontrollably. What had I done? I realised I’d been bullied into taking that first pill. I felt overwhelmed by anger. I should’ve been sent home to think about all the options. It should’ve been pointed out that having my baby was an option and that, with medical advances, most Down babies go on to live happy lives.” I felt so guilty and upset. I felt I should have kept her. And if Lillie wasn’t going to survive, I’d have been happier letting nature take its course.”
The abortion became an issue between Ideson and her husband.
“I knew he was devastated, too, but I was angry he’d allowed staff to rush me into getting rid of her. The feeling he didn’t support me when I needed him most festered between us.”
“The final straw came when I was in labour with Reuben [her next baby]. We were at home and the midwives wanted me to go to the hospital, but I told them I couldn’t go back to where I’d terminated Lillie. Allan tried to persuade me to go and, in the end, I had no choice. I felt, again, Allan hadn’t spoken up for me when I was at my most vulnerable. I couldn’t find it in my heart to forgive him.”
Like many couples after abortion, they split up.
“My eldest sons are 25 now. When I was pregnant with them, I knew of women who had babies with Down syndrome. Today, I never see mums with Down babies. I can’t believe that everyone who finds out their baby has Down syndrome willingly chooses to abort it. I can’t help feeling that other women must be having abortions they don’t want.”
Alison Squire Smith ‘I was bullied into aborting my baby” Herald Sun December 4, 2011 http://www.heraldsun.com.au/ipad/i-was-bullied-into-aborting-my-baby/story-fn6bn9st-1226213171981
One of my liberal friends, (he’s coming around, slowly) was not aware of the criticism Sarah Palin endured for allowing her Down Syndrome baby to be born. He’s beginning to get the picture of how militant and oppressive the side he is on can be.
I didn’t read the above, but this is the norm. Doctors put extreme pressure on women to abort their unborn kids with DS. There are many stories of new parents having to push, and endure the literal wrath of their doctors, to have the baby.
People get very defensive about having aborted children with Down Syndrome. That includes the doctors who all but assumed each parent would want to kill their baby with a chromosomal difference. They all have to defend their soulless mistake to the end of their days, if they don’t repent and pray for forgiveness.
So the doctors bullied her, her husband bullied her, so none of her decisions are her fault. RME
I know of women who were pressured to sign for a tubal ligation in between hard contractions.
Didn’t read it, by choice, because these stories make me cry. I have mascara on!
Yes, pregnant emotional women can be bullied into bad decisions. Lots of people can.
That says to me that people who are so called bullied into decisions use it as an excuse to free themselves from the consequences of their actions. Makes them feel better to blame their decisions/choices on someone/something else.
I have no patience/use for those kinds of people.
This woman chose to murder (aka abort) her unborn child. Her choice, as we’re slammed on the head constantly.
So tell us wise guy, who appointed you to be the judge of her, or anyone else? Is there some reason why anyone in the world should give a sh!t whether you have patience or not? I don't think so.
I don’t see it that way. Compassion has nothing to do with how I view choices.
I think that’s one of our major problems today. We can be compassionate while still being honest whereas today being compassionate eliminates honesty as cruel.
A woman chose, yeah chose, to abort/murder her child. She chose to blame her husband/bf/family, said she was “bullied” (nice catchword) into aborting/murdering her baby. She is claiming the blame is everywhere, anywhere but on herself. This is what I have a problem with and no amount of sob story will change that. She made that choice.
I don’t judge her at all. I’m commenting on a story she chose (again that choice) to share. I’ve concluded she wasn’t “bullied” by anyone. She chose to murder her baby and she chose to blame other people for her decision. She chose to claim she was “bullied” into that decision and I just don’t buy it.
I had a conversation with a doctor who brought up ‘termination’ when they found our son had problems. I suggested his own health required that he nor anyone else brought up that nonsense in front of myself or my wife. We will not consider it and we do not appreciate that a person who purports to be a doctor believes life is so cheap.
Never heard another word about it.
An acquaintance of mine that would stop by and chat with me when I worked the night shift would relate stories from the local mental health ward he worked at. One night he related the story of one of the ladies who he was familiar with. He described her as deeply religious. It turned out her husband and her mother had “forced” her to get an abortion after which she snapped. She would hallucinate that the devil was standing taunting her holding her aborted baby.
This kind of thing isn’t all that uncommon. The idea that abortion is a free choice for the women involved is a very naive. Even Drs. called Genetic counselors are often abortion pushers. A friend of ours had been scared to death by one of these and was told that her unborn daughter had a high risk of genetic abnormality. Thankfully she did not choose to kill her child because her little girl was absolutely perfect and there was no abnormality at all.
Yes, since she had the final, ultimate decision, you can definitely blame her. But those who would coerce a woman under the effect of POWERFUL hormones and desperate emotion deserve blame as well.
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