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***THE OFFICIAL FRIDAY SILLINESS THREAD***
Posted on 12/12/2014 4:27:57 AM PST by Lucky9teen
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To: Lucky9teen
In a church on Sunday morning a preacher said, “Anyone with ‘special needs’ who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front of the altar.”
With that, Leroy got in line and when it was his turn the Preacher asked, “Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?
Leroy replied, “Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing.”
The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy’s ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy’s head, and then prayed and prayed and the whole congregation joined in with much enthusiasm.
After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, “Leroy how is your hearing now?”
Leroy answered, “I don’t know. It ain’t ‘til Thursday.”
41
posted on
12/12/2014 7:10:01 AM PST
by
Twotone
(Truth is hate to those who hate truth.)
To: nascarnation
42
posted on
12/12/2014 7:11:21 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(Shickl-Gruber's Big Lie gave us Hussein's Un-Affordable Care act (HUAC).)
To: ShadowAce
43
posted on
12/12/2014 7:11:52 AM PST
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
To: Lucky9teen
44
posted on
12/12/2014 7:14:52 AM PST
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(Nothing is sometimes the right thing to do, and always a wise thing to say.)
To: BenLurkin
"PLAY BALL!"
45
posted on
12/12/2014 7:15:16 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(Shickl-Gruber's Big Lie gave us Hussein's Un-Affordable Care act (HUAC).)
To: a fool in paradise
46
posted on
12/12/2014 7:15:16 AM PST
by
BenLurkin
(This is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion or satire; or both.)
To: Daffynition
Is it Friday yet?
47
posted on
12/12/2014 7:17:13 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(Shickl-Gruber's Big Lie gave us Hussein's Un-Affordable Care act (HUAC).)
To: ErnBatavia
I live in San Jose. We got that storm yesterday, and it gave us a LOT more than a tenth of an inch (over three inches, in fact). Didn’t stop the local news from sensationalized coverage, though.
No deaths or serious injuries from it, although there were some flooded buildings and freeways and several downed trees.
48
posted on
12/12/2014 7:19:24 AM PST
by
ZirconEncrustedTweezers
(Nothing is sometimes the right thing to do, and always a wise thing to say.)
To: a fool in paradise
We locals hate those weekends; pretty much have to go on home-lockdown during the periods.
I just now was reading a piece on Uber-v-taxis, and it mentioned that the kids who booked Uber during those "peak" times, would get nailed for up to 600 bucks if they wanted to get the 30 miles back to Palm Springs.
49
posted on
12/12/2014 7:20:11 AM PST
by
ErnBatavia
(It ain't a "hashtag"....it's a damn pound sign. ###)
To: Lucky9teen
I went on a date with a beautiful woman the other day. She raises bees and volunteers at the zoo. I think she is a keeper!
To: a fool in paradise
51
posted on
12/12/2014 7:22:38 AM PST
by
upchuck
(Ferguson: Put your hands down and go to work!)
To: Lucky9teen
52
posted on
12/12/2014 7:28:22 AM PST
by
W.
(If government could truly create jobs communism would have worked the first time it was implemented.)
To: Lucky9teen
Code:
53
posted on
12/12/2014 7:31:10 AM PST
by
CodeToad
(Islam should be outlawed and treated as a criminal enterprise!)
To: GSWarrior
I went to the zoo today and asked if they had any talking parrots. The zookeeper said they didn’t, but they had a woodpecker that knew morse code.
—
If I was a zookeeper, I wouldn’t even bother putting anything in the Chameleon exhibit.
—
A zookeeper approaches three boys standing near the lions’ cage and asks them their names and what they’re up to.
The first boy says, “My name’s Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The second boy says, “My name’s Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions.”
The third boy says, “My name is Peanuts.”
—
A zookeeper walks into a bar with an elephant and orders two beers. After a few hours and a few more drinks, the elephant collapses drunk on the floor.
As the zookeeper stumbles for the door, the bartender calls after him, “Hey! You can’t just leave that lyin’ here!”
The zookeeper slurs, “Tha’shnot a lion; tha’shan elephant.”
—
“Don’t worry, the duck will pay for everything. Put it on its bill.”
54
posted on
12/12/2014 7:33:54 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(Shickl-Gruber's Big Lie gave us Hussein's Un-Affordable Care act (HUAC).)
To: upchuck
55
posted on
12/12/2014 7:39:38 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
To: CodeToad
56
posted on
12/12/2014 7:41:28 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(Shickl-Gruber's Big Lie gave us Hussein's Un-Affordable Care act (HUAC).)
To: a fool in paradise
NOTICE: There are only 12 more looting and shoplifting days left until Christmas!
57
posted on
12/12/2014 7:41:52 AM PST
by
Lucky9teen
(Justice will not be served until those who r unaffected r as outraged as those who r. B Franklin)
To: a fool in paradise
And people wonder why the foreigners are doing the coding.
58
posted on
12/12/2014 7:45:21 AM PST
by
CodeToad
(Islam should be outlawed and treated as a criminal enterprise!)
To: Lucky9teen
Come over for some Heineken for the holidays.
59
posted on
12/12/2014 7:49:28 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(Shickl-Gruber's Big Lie gave us Hussein's Un-Affordable Care act (HUAC).)
To: CodeToad; Slings and Arrows
Meanwhile, in Japan...
60
posted on
12/12/2014 8:05:53 AM PST
by
a fool in paradise
(Shickl-Gruber's Big Lie gave us Hussein's Un-Affordable Care act (HUAC).)
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