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The Downside of Living Alone
Townhall ^ | 12/15/2014 | Tom Purcell

Posted on 12/16/2014 4:54:36 PM PST by SeekAndFind

The number of Americans who choose to live alone continues to grow.

So finds a recent Current Population Survey by the U.S. Census Bureau. According to The Washington Post, the survey found that "the proportion of Americans who live alone has grown steadily since the 1920s, increasing from roughly 5 percent then to 27 percent in 2013."

The Post reports the number of men living alone doubled to 12 percent from 1970 to 2012. Some 15 percent of households are comprised of women living alone. In large urban areas, such as Manhattan and Washington, "about half of households have single occupants, and in some neighborhoods the proportion is two-thirds..."

And why are more people living alone? Because they want to. The more their economic means have allowed it, the more people have chosen to get their own digs.

As someone who lives alone, I'm just not so sure this is a good thing.

I compare the way many single people live today with the home in which I grew up. I lived with five sisters, two parents and a dog. Until I was 12, we had only one shower. We had to share and be considerate of others.

This was during the '70s and '80s, when the shag haircut - the long, full Farrah Fawcett hair - was all the rage, which meant my sisters were spending a lot of time washing, conditioning and drying their hair in our only full bathroom.

My poor father spent many of his adult years sitting on his bed in his robe, waiting to get a shower so he could go to work or to the store. His bedroom was at the far end of the house, however. No sooner did he hear the bathroom door open and begin heading down the hallway than he'd hear it slam shut again - someone else going in to get a shower.

The only way I ever got in was by threatening to use my sisters' toothbrushes.

Our house was a chaotic place. Friends, family and neighbors were always coming and going. The doors were never locked. If you set anything you owned on a table, somebody would relocate it and you'd never see it again. And when something broke, which was about a dozen times every day, my sisters blamed me and everyone was happy.

Well, unlike the way I grew up, I live alone now and have total command over my little world. This is not good. Because there is no one to tell me to clean, I follow the P.J. O'Rourke school of thought: I clean my place about once every girlfriend.

You see, because I live alone, most daily activities are all about me and only me. And because so many people are living as I do, I wonder whether more of our population is becoming more isolated and insular.

More of us are coming home to orderly little worlds that have not been disturbed by the presence of other people. We don't hear the sound of a baby crying or a stereo playing. We don't know the scent of cookies being baked as a gift to us. We don't know the chaos or uncertainty that always occurs when you live with creatures as unpredictable as human beings - people who help us escape the narrowness of ourselves.

No, instead we know an orderly little existence. We have total control over every piece of furniture, every ounce of shampoo in the bathroom and every scrap of food in the refrigerator - though I admit I don't toss things out of my refrigerator often enough.

Much like comedian Blake Clark, I had one milk carton in my refrigerator so long, it had a picture of the Lindbergh baby printed on the back of it.


TOPICS: Society
KEYWORDS: livingalone
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To: Blood of Tyrants

“There is the downside of having a medical crisis and having no one to call 911’’. That’s what LIFE ALERT is for. The real downside is best put(apologies to Bobby Darin) ...’’and a hand/that I can hold/to feel near/as I grow old...’’


41 posted on 12/16/2014 6:59:43 PM PST by jmacusa (Liberalism defined: When mom and dad go away for the weekend and the kids are in charge.)
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To: cripplecreek

Being your own man until the end... good enough.


42 posted on 12/16/2014 7:02:06 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim
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To: MHGinTN

....”Some of us are now beyond the chance to find a companion to share the last years”....

Companions can be found whereever people gather...from sports to clubs, entertainment venues etc. But you do have to attend these.

One guy at a church service, when they ask for prayer, had a prepared statement announcing he was interested in having company when he went for dinner and would like to invite any interested. Though certainly not the norm...he was very surprised at all the offers from the ladies thereafter. He married one of them.

I don’t know what you consider too old....but my mother re-married at 67 and her mate was 72.


43 posted on 12/16/2014 7:11:30 PM PST by caww
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To: Kirkwood

I can do both...not uncommon I have a ‘clothes explosion’ in my bedroom when deciding what to wear to work...but I am organized which is key I think. So I just take care of it when I get home.

My place is comfortably lived in. I’d have no problem getting unexpected guest at any time....


44 posted on 12/16/2014 7:15:00 PM PST by caww
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To: cripplecreek

Lordy, that’s the best laugh I’ve had all week!


45 posted on 12/16/2014 7:18:07 PM PST by Old Grumpy
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To: SeekAndFind

I’ve been living alone so long now (roughly around 20 years) I can’t imagine any other way to live.


46 posted on 12/16/2014 7:20:54 PM PST by Old Grumpy
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To: Skooz

That would be me too...I had a hard time getting adjusted at first...I think most do as the change is so profound. But it does get easier and better until you realize it’s pretty alright to go it alone.

Then you discover the positives....often unexpectedly. And sometimes these are simple things. I’m not very good at cooking so i don’t do it very often, but when I do what a pleasure it is....until I see the mess I made! LOLOLOL...

I’ll be doing Christmas alone this year and looking forward to planning for it.... it won’t be the first time so i know exactly what to do that’s enjoyable and festive...for one!


47 posted on 12/16/2014 7:21:55 PM PST by caww
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To: All

One is never alone when one has the Lord!


48 posted on 12/16/2014 7:22:00 PM PST by JDoutrider
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To: MHGinTN
Some of us are now beyond the chance to find a companion to share the last years.

Quite so. The author writes as though living alone is always a choice. For many, it's not.

More important than the lack of opportunity to be annoyed by others is the real danger of living alone. You don't have to be old and fragile to become suddenly sick, or fall down the stairs, or to become the victim of crime. People who live alone do die sooner than married people, who will at least have someone around to call an ambulance.

49 posted on 12/16/2014 7:22:36 PM PST by ottbmare (the OTTB mare, now a proud Marine Mom)
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To: MisterArtery

That sounds like my son and his wife ....though he tends to procrastinat she’s a by the book gal....so they compliment each other very well.

They both had several years being on their own so they had to learn how to be married..and this under one roof. She learned how to be more relaxed he leraned to be more tidy....it was a good adjustment for both.


50 posted on 12/16/2014 7:29:50 PM PST by caww
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To: SeekAndFind

I am in my 4thyear since divorce.I live alone, and like it.

Found out I am a way better cook than my ex...
I keep the house substantially cleaner...
I always know where the friggin clicker is...
Laundry is always done on time...

Everything the OP said, and i am content to be alone.

Understand though, that i don’t want to be alone. And I have fantastic options in the other direction, to include a very fine 37 yr old that i could easily pursue (iam early 50’s).

But many of my hats, pariarch, son, father, and grandfather... all of these could be damaged by fast, selfish moves...

If i go there, it will be with an abundance of deliberation, and a friendship so long and abiding that it becomes so part-of-the-furniture as to be of no surprise, and actually encouraged by those around me.

Hence, it is not out of insularity or selfishness that i am here, but rather because of a deep sense of responsibility.


51 posted on 12/16/2014 7:30:12 PM PST by roamer_1 (Globalism is just socialism in a business suit.)
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To: ottbmare

All that you listed happens to those living with others as well.


52 posted on 12/16/2014 7:32:37 PM PST by caww
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To: SeekAndFind

I have loved living alone since my husband died. I’ve become a bit selfish and set in my ways but I wouldn’t have it any other way.


53 posted on 12/16/2014 7:35:27 PM PST by Lucky2 (Obama = limp wristed puke)
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To: MHGinTN

well, hmmmm.......based upon “reality” vs “dreaming” would you really want to?

I was engaged about 3 years ago in my early sixties. I thank god every day it fell through!


54 posted on 12/16/2014 7:39:47 PM PST by Cen-Tejas (it's the debt bomb stupid)
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To: JDoutrider

AMEN


55 posted on 12/16/2014 7:46:46 PM PST by LocDoc
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To: Blood of Tyrants

I think the issue you raise is important and I have talked to my doc about it who is also my best friend socially
of 43 years. He advises that my chances of having a death incident so sudden that I couldn’t hit three buttons on the cell phone are closer to none than they are to slim.

Three things I do even though I am very active and feel as good as I did at 25 (most of the time) are that around the house I either wear a shirt with a pocket or a little cheap vest with lots of pockets. This is so my cell phone will ALWAYS be in arms reach.

The second thing I do is to specifically try and ALWAYS keep the darn thing at maximum charge.

The third thing I do is that each day is built around exercise, exercise, exercise. I get bored with one exercise so I have about 3 that I alternate. They are golf (walking), tennis, swimming and bike riding. And, my attitude is “it’s a good day if I exercise and a bad day if I don’t”. So, I hit about 95%. Weather this time of year is my biggest enemy.


56 posted on 12/16/2014 7:51:24 PM PST by Cen-Tejas (it's the debt bomb stupid)
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To: napscoordinator
Many people have died with others in the very home the death happened.

Especially the murders.

57 posted on 12/16/2014 8:21:27 PM PST by Jeff Chandler (Doctrine doesn't change. The trick is to find a way around it.)
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To: Chickensoup

“I plan to die with dignity at the bottom of the basement stairs just like God intended.”

Love it!
And the one about never being too old too. Really need to hear that this Christmas too.


58 posted on 12/16/2014 8:40:04 PM PST by TianaHighrider (Restoration of the Constitution first and foremost)
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To: NorthstarMom

ROTFLMAO....You made me chuckle. Just the way you expressed it.


59 posted on 12/16/2014 8:52:07 PM PST by napscoordinator (President Walker is our future President! Ted Cruz is the Senate Majority Leader in the future!)
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To: EQAndyBuzz

That is fantastic. Such great memories I am sure. Here is to 25 more....and 25 after that.


60 posted on 12/16/2014 8:53:16 PM PST by napscoordinator (President Walker is our future President! Ted Cruz is the Senate Majority Leader in the future!)
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