[Gay State Conservative]

So is that to say I should take the vacuum cleaner back?

[dfwgator]

Scope. Has anyone here ever received a bottle of Scope? Has anyone here ever sent anyone a bottle of Scope? Just seems like such a cruel thing. Often think of the borderline psychotic. Just needs one more thing to go wrong, y’know. Going down to the mailbox.. “Hmm..what’s this? Scope? Scope! AHH! WAH! AHHHHHHHGH!” Up on the roof with a Magnum- BMMM! Nine dead and they blame Marine training. Uh, bad breath, yeah. “Anyone can have bad breath, Marge, but you can knock a buzzard off a sh—wagon!” Remember that?

-George Carlin

[Vendome]

She has weak arms?

ROTFLMAO! !!!

[grimalkin]

I read on another forum that a lady’s ex-husband went to Walmart, bought her an ice scraper and cheap steering wheel cover, tied off the Walmart bag, and threw it under the tree.

[Tolerance Sucks Rocks]

But . . . but . . . my gift would make it EASIER for her to fix dinner!

[Vendome]

So back when Tiger Woods was married to Elin she caused an argument that resulted in their divorce.

Yeah, see he was watching a game on TV and she walks in on him asking “What’s on the TV?”

“DUST!” He said

And that’s how the fight started.

Really a thin skinned woman and just too needy.

[Diamond]

I didn’t read the article because I assumed it was about Bill Clinton.

[Robwin]

The title specifically says, “What not to get your girlfriend”, but, married guys, I would like to add an addendum: think twice before giving anything like this to your wives. Just some friendly advice from someone who has been there.

[ExTexasRedhead]

When men give the Wrong Christmas Gifts:

http://www.funnieststuff.net/viewmovie.php?id=338

[RushIsMyTeddyBear]

LOL!

[Still Thinking]

Washboard & mirror combo set?

[SamAdams76]

I need to buy my wife a present and also, I need a new power drill.

I know! I'll buy a pink drill and give it to her for Christmas.

Kill two birds with one stone!

[VanDeKoik]

Avoid a girlfriend.

Spend Christmas money on yourself. Live much happier.

[Rodamala]

This was in the window at a secondhand clothing store down the street from my office. Someone actually bought it a few days ago.

Nothing says "Merry Christmas. I love you, honey" quite as effectively as getting her a Christmas sweater that has the word "HO" in huge lettters on the front of it.

[DeoVindiceSicSemperTyrannis]

Girlfriends are easy. Just get them chocolate. Lots of it. And for the boyfriends just get them this:

[ought-six]

I guess the bathroom scale I bought my wife is out. And it was digital with iridescent numbers; top of the line. Too late to return it and get her something else. It does go with the tile.

[BenLurkin]

When you said “rules” I thought....never mind.

[Huskrrrr]

[Exit148]

Years ago a friend received a wheel barrow from her husband.

BUT— she was thrilled!!!!!!!!! She loved gardening, and she told me it was one if the best things he could have given to her!

[faithhopecharity]

the toilet brush goes back to the Dollar Store, then?