Revisionist Codswallop. Balderdash. Gallimaufery. Pope-Jammery, Tripe, Will'o'the-wisp,etc. ad nauseam.
Nausea is what inspired this meretricious pedant. Stay offa sailboats you addlepated landlubber! He gets seasick and we have to throw the Blind Bard overboard? Not bloody likely.
The sea cruel? Not bloody cruel enough in this wimp's case.