Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

"Prophet" Mohammed Jokes
Freerepublic ^ | 01/08/2015 | Jewbacca

Posted on 01/07/2015 3:40:44 PM PST by Jewbacca

click here to read article


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 141-151 next last
To: SunkenCiv; cripplecreek

Comments BUMP! BUMP!


21 posted on 01/07/2015 3:56:45 PM PST by PGalt
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 5 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca
Can't spell Mohammed without HAM!



22 posted on 01/07/2015 3:58:29 PM PST by SparkyBass
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: eyeamok

Piss be upon him.


23 posted on 01/07/2015 3:59:09 PM PST by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 20 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca
Bttt.

5.56mm

24 posted on 01/07/2015 3:59:20 PM PST by M Kehoe
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca

I tried not to notice, but you can always tell which is “their goat”.


25 posted on 01/07/2015 3:59:55 PM PST by clbiel (Islamophobia: The irrational fear of being decapitated)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca; All

In addition to these humorous (but true to life) stories I highly recommend my passive/aggressive Supermarket Strategy.

If you local hypermart carries lamb and beef products marked “Halal” then as you stroll through inspecting the meat, just accidentally allow a package of bacon or pig’s feet to find its way out of your cart into the pile of meat offered to Allah.

Then stand back and wait for the fun!


26 posted on 01/07/2015 4:00:00 PM PST by shibumi ("Walk through the fire - Fly through the smoke")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: shibumi

27 posted on 01/07/2015 4:02:28 PM PST by cripplecreek (You can't half ass conservatism.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]

To: clbiel

“I tried not to notice, but you can always tell which is “their goat”.”

That’s the real trick to halal butchering.

They have to hang it by its head so the, um, fluids, run out the back.


28 posted on 01/07/2015 4:02:29 PM PST by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 25 | View Replies]

To: SunkenCiv
Perhaps Christians and Jews should take an equally provocative stance and start blowing up Muslims without cause.

I'm sure Mr. Paul will say the same thing to Muslim-led countries.

29 posted on 01/07/2015 4:03:29 PM PST by ConservativeMind ("Humane" = "Don't pen up pets or eat meat, but allow infanticide, abortion, and euthanasia.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: SunkenCiv
Perhaps Christians and Jews should take an equally provocative stance and start blowing up Muslims without cause.

I'm sure Mr. Paul will say the same thing to Muslim-led countries.

30 posted on 01/07/2015 4:03:30 PM PST by ConservativeMind ("Humane" = "Don't pen up pets or eat meat, but allow infanticide, abortion, and euthanasia.")
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca

Q: How many Muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two. One to screw in the bulb, and one to behead the other using such a tool of Zionist imperialism.


31 posted on 01/07/2015 4:03:48 PM PST by Boogieman
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Boogieman

Q: How many IDF solders does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Three. One to screw in the light bulb and two to disconnect the wires from the Hamas member.


32 posted on 01/07/2015 4:05:18 PM PST by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 31 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca

If mohammed’s wife used her left hand to wipe her butt, how does she make flat bread?


33 posted on 01/07/2015 4:08:14 PM PST by Ruy Dias de Bivar
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Ruy Dias de Bivar

“If mohammed’s wife used her left hand to wipe her butt, how does she make flat bread?”

She tried to use her face, but her beard got stuck.


34 posted on 01/07/2015 4:09:23 PM PST by Jewbacca (The residents of Iroquois territory may not determine whether Jews may live in Jerusalem)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 33 | View Replies]

To: Bon mots

#14

Aw geez......


35 posted on 01/07/2015 4:13:43 PM PST by workerbee (The President of the United States is PUBLIC ENEMY #1)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca

Some of those are pretty good!


36 posted on 01/07/2015 4:14:58 PM PST by Randy Larsen (Aim small, Miss small.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca







37 posted on 01/07/2015 4:17:17 PM PST by MeshugeMikey ("Never, Never, Never, Give Up," Winston Churchill ><>)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Jewbacca

A Muslim dies and finds himself before the pearly Gates. He is very excited, as all his life he has longed to meet the Prophet Mohammed. Having arrived at the Gates of Heaven, he meets a man with a beard.

‘Are you Mohammed?’, he asks. ‘No, my son. I am Peter. Mohammed is higher up.’ And he points to a ladder that rises into the clouds.

Delighted that Mohammed should be higher than Peter, he climbs the ladder in great strides, climbs through the clouds coming to a room where he meets another bearded man.

He asks again, ‘Are you Mohammed? ‘No, I am Moses. Mohammed is higher still.

Exhausted, but with a heart full of joy, he continues to climb the ladder and, yet again, he discovers an even larger room where he meets another man with a beard.

Full of hope, he asks again, ‘Are you Mohammed?’ ‘No, I am Jesus...You will find Mohammed higher up.’

Mohammed higher than Jesus! The poor man can hardly contain his delight and climbs and climbs, ever higher once again, he reaches a larger room where he meets a man with a beard and repeats his question:

‘Are you Mohammed?’ he gasps, as he is by now, totally out of breath from all his climbing. ‘No, my son. I am God. But you look exhausted. Would you like a coffee?’

‘Yes, please, my Lord’

God looks behind him, claps his hands and calls out: ‘ Hey, Mohammed, two coffees!’


38 posted on 01/07/2015 4:19:09 PM PST by KEVLAR (Liberty or Death)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: MeshugeMikey
Mohammad's ride.


39 posted on 01/07/2015 4:22:13 PM PST by cripplecreek (You can't half ass conservatism.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 37 | View Replies]

To: shibumi

Now that’s a perfect plan!

Look out WalMart!


40 posted on 01/07/2015 4:23:15 PM PST by Randy Larsen (Aim small, Miss small.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 26 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-4041-6061-80 ... 141-151 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson